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2018
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Jim Austin:
Ex-Vermonter at Large
Jim Austin
Jim Austin
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is a freelance writer from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 2.16.17

JIM AUSTIN

Trumpwatch 2017: March to Oblivion

CAPE BRETON, NS | If you are a fan of salacious media you will have noted the googly eyes that Ivanka Trump was leveling at hunky Canadian PM Justin Trudeau. She was all dressed up in a slinky shift and her "fuck me" pumps when Trudy met with Agent Orange to discuss "Women in Business."

Trudeau

Be careful Justin, this woman was raised by Donald Trump and she will give YOU the business. We are looking at a "Fatal Attraction" situation here. Fall for Ivanka's wiles and she'll be boiling your bunny in no time.

Now that I've saved the PM, let's move on to the secondary news.

We've got Russian cold war era vessels off Delaware firing cruise missiles. We've got Russian jets recklessly buzzing a US warship in the Black Sea. We also have Russian operatives discussing who knows what with Trump staffers before the election. His NSA chief Flynn was caught out discussing removal of sanctions with the Russian Ambassador prior to Trump's inauguration. He then sort of told the VP that they only discussed the weather.

One would surmise that Congress should possibly have an investigation of these shenanigans n'est pas? Can you imagine the cataclysmic furore that would have been raised if a Democratic Administration had perpetrated this debacle? They would have heard about it on Mars. Senate leader Mitch McConnell's wattles would be quaking with umbrage.

Republicans, however, are resisting a probe into the Russian/Trump connection. Trump, for his part, is ignoring the Russian meddling and blaming the media for HIS firing of NSA head Flynn! He said in an announcement after Flynn's firing: "General Flynn is a wonderful man, I think he's been treated very very unfairly by the media, as I call it the fake media." He went on to make a far bigger deal out of the "leaks" that exposed Flynn's lies to Vice President Pence. So, I guess the media fired Flynn.

There is something so sinister about Trump's playing kissy-face with Putin that we should all be alarmed. Where's the tough guy Trump we were battered with during the run-up to the election? He's being much tougher on NATO and the media than Russia. The more he ignores Russian provocation, the more I think about the rumor of a Russian-held compromising video of Trump and watersports in a Moscow hotel.

OK, Flynn's out, whose next? How about Andrew Puzder, candidate for Secretary of Labour?

This fast-food magnate was doing fine despite his opposition to raising the minimum wage and his hatred of his employees who he would like to replace with robots. Things started going bad for him only when a video tape from the 80s showed up that had his former wife on Oprah describing the brutal beatings she suffered at the hands of Puzder. One day later Puzder withdrew from consideration.

Trump minions said it was because he was "soft" on immigration. Bald faced, pants on fire lies.

Coincidentally, we learn through Rachel Maddow that Steve Bannon, the Grand Wizard of the Trump administration, was also indicted for spousal abuse. The spouse in question though didn't show up for the trial having been told to leave town by Bannon's lawyers. She took the twins and beat it. Not that any manner of murky crap would surprise us about Bannon. If we found out that Bannon had 10 dead hookers in his crawlspace we'd gasp once and try and act shocked.

The only good news is that this administration is starting to circle the drain.

Clearly, there are staffers that have a sense of loyalty to the Constitution and the country. This could be Trump's demise. With an army of "deep throats" ready to inform the media about illegal and inappropriate monkeyshines we may survive until the mid-term elections.

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