Jim Austin

His previous columns are archived HERE.

JIM AUSTIN

NBC must-see TV -- finally

Sometimes you don't realize what unimaginative, cynical meatheads are polluting the airwaves on sports radio.

It's fine to listen to these guys when they are talking about the NCAA basketball tournament or the run-up to the Super Bowl, but when the Olympics come around they act like a pack of howler monkeys worried about some other simian is peeing on their turf.

I am almost embarrassed to be listening to these cretins dissing the Olympics and centering their discussions on football's Pro Bowl or the NBA All-star Game.

The Pro Bowl? The ratings proved that nobody on the planet gives a rotten turnip about watching "Steroid Freaks in Paradise" on ABC. One knuckle-dragger was almost in tears that the NBA slam-dunk competition got such low ratings. I wonder if the drool ever shorts out their mikes.

NBC has finally received the message on their Olympic coverage. It has vastly improved for these games in Salt Lake City.

Gone are the 15-minute fuzzy-focus puff pieces detailing some pre-teen's troll collection. They still profile the athletes but the pieces seem more relevant to the sport.

I thought they might be overdoing the background story on short-track skater Apolo Ohno but he lived up to his press by rocketing around that short oval to a berth in the semis. This kid could be the next Eric Heiden.

NBC has also realized that other countries participate in the Olympics as well. They showed biathlon, the mixture of skiing and target shooting on prime time without an American athlete in sight. Imagine skiing flat out uphill for several miles then being asked to shoot at silver dollar sized discs at a distance of 50 yards.

I'd be lucky to hit the ground. The winner didn't miss once.

What would the Olympics be without a figure-skating scandal?

The outright robbery of the Canadian Pairs team by the heinous actions and collusion of the French and Russian judges brought back fond memories of cold-war Olympic showdowns. Amidst all the furor about the French judge, how come nobody is questioning the decision of the other four judges who also put the Canadians into second place?

It just shows the need for a complete overhaul of the system of judging in this event. To say it has always been that way, while true, is not good enough.

My solution would be to add a biathlon component to the skating. If the athletes carried small-caliber pistols and had to shoot at targets during the performance the judges might approach their job with more subjectivity.

The IOC has been puffing up and making noise about the dishonest judging but are quick to point out that there is no provision for reversing the decision.

Well, make a provision.

Athletes have to return their medals for using drugs, Jim Thorpe had to return his medals for playing semi-pro baseball, so make a rule that says…

"If an athlete(s) is royally screwed beyond all recognition by some vile little unwashed French tart, the decision of said tart should be reversed."

See? Isn't that easy?

Another great Olympic story is the teen from Switzerland who took gold on both the 90-meter and 120-meter hills. This unknown kid soared almost 140 meters and shocked the ski-jumping world. He was more astounded than anyone at the result and babbled incoherent joy into the microphone of the NBC interviewer.

It made me think of our own Willie Graves who may someday soar into Olympic history. Young Simon Amman from Switzerland must have given Willie a look at what could be in store for him come 2006.

And let's not forget Kelly Clark, the Brattleboro Union High School Alum who took gold in the women's half-pipe. She and fellow Vermonter Ross Powers have certainly put Vermont on the map.

While the Olympics does have its problems, it is still the greatest sporting event in the world by miles. It eclipses Superbowls, World Cups, Stanley Cups, and US Opens.

For the most part it is about athletes like bronze medal winner in speed skating, Kip Carpenter, who works most of the time in the stock room at JC Penney in Nowheresville, Wisconsin. There are some who cash in but of the 10,000 summer games athletes and 3000 in the winter games, most are just great kids with a "wicked big talent," as we say in Vermont.