TIM BELFORD

Quite an act, the latest Canadian budget

Watching Paul Martin's recent budget presentation reminded me of the Flying Wallendas.

You know the family. They're in the circus.

One member rides a bicycle on a tightrope while two of his brothers balance on a cross-bar suspended from his teeth.

Meanwhile the brothers' wives stand on their husbands' heads while grandpa perches above them supporting another four cousins all doing handstands.

Like the Wallendas, Paul Martin belongs in the Cirque du Soleil.

Maybe a better analogy would be to compare presenting a budget with those guys who spin the plates on top of the long sticks.

With his budget martin has to keep everyone spinning, including the provincial premiers, the Bay Street boys, the Wall Street gnomes, anti-poverty activists, feminists, militarists, socialists, monetarists, separatists and probably a few "ists" that normally go unnoticed.

It's not an easy task.

What makes it particularly difficult is that the whole thing -- as star trek's Spock would say -- lacks logic.

The Canadian Alliance wailed that Martin didn't give the military enough cash to march into Afghanistan.

Nor did he cut taxes sufficiently to give us status as honourary Texans.

At the same time -- forgetting the military would need about six billion dollars more a year to reach the level of the warlike Danes -- the Alliance also bemoaned the government's increased spending.

Meanwhile, the NDP executed a policy lateral arabesque worthy of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet and complained the military were short-changed as well.

This comes from a party which has traditionally supported the concept of an armed forces the same size as the Metis Beach police force.

Big business was no better.

It's angry that only seven point seven billion dollars was going into border security. What we really need, they say, is an eight-lane, separate border crossing for all the goods they ship south and one lane dedicated to car traffic.

That would make it easier to pick up the terrorists.

Of course, it would also mean five days to clear customs for tourists going to Plattsburg, NY for the weekend.

The biggest confusion, of course, comes from the money market people in the Big Apple.

They're disappointed martin isn't going to reduce the national debt for the next two years.

They're also disappointed there's not more to stimulate the economy.

Which is sort of like saying we'd like pie for supper but don't use the apples.

Anyway, you get the point.

They're all unreasonable.

All we really wanted was a tax break. Oh, and more spending on health …and maybe road repair…without leaving our kids with a huge debt…