TIM BELFORD

Everything's for rent

Oh my, the things we'll never know.

It appears that during a "brainstorming" session - and I presume they use the term "brainstorming" in the loosest possible sense - some of the policy wonks at the national capital commission recently came up with some terrific ideas to raise cash.

Taking a leaf out of bill Clinton's notebook, they thought it might be a good idea to charge people for an overnight stay at 24 Sussex Drive.

I don't know how much they thought they could charge for a night at Chez Jean's but if it included breakfast it might be worth a go.

They also reckoned they could raise some ready cash by charging people to skate on the Rideau Canal.

Or maybe a flat fee for attending Canada Day celebrations on the lawn at Parliament Hill.

One helpful soul even suggested letting sponsors take over certain events. You know, maybe the Kellogg's Winterlude.

Gee, it's worth a try.

If the Capital Commission really wanted to rake in the dough though, why not go whole hog?

How about a fun-filled dinner for two with Liberal house leader Herb Grey?

Talk about a walk on the wild side.

Or maybe they could sell advertising space on the front of MPs' desks in the House of Commons.

Sort of like a British soccer game. You know, the ones that spin showing a new ad every couple of minutes.

Individual MPs could even pick the product their desk would endorse.

That would let Paul Martin tout maybe Nesbitt Burns or the Royal Bank.

Brian Tobin's desk could feature Captain Highliner or perhaps Brunswick sardines.

Stock Day's desk could sing The praise of Excedrin. While Joe Clark could sponsor Jello.

The possibilities for a little quick cash are endless.

There must be several thousand government vehicles in the Ottawa area. Why not mount St-Hubert barbecue chickens on the roof or maybe Pizza Hut logos?

And then there are the civil servants themselves.

The Mounties have already sold their marketing rights to Disney.

But what about the Corps of Commissionaires?

A discreet Adidas logo on the cap, a stylish Gap label on the jacket, maybe even a Pierre Cardin tie.

If Nike is willing to pay Tiger Woods millions, imagine what they'd fork out for an entire federal department?

Ultimately, we the taxpayer, could be free of paying for anything in the nation's capital.

It could be the first government on earth where the speech from the throne started with the words "brought to you by. . ."

Anyway, it's just a thought.