TIM BELFORD

Can those naked-guy ads, eh?

I know this isn't going to sit well with a lot of people out there but it has to be said.

I'm tired of the Olympics.

I knew we were in for trouble when the CBC started it's advertising back in January.

Since then we've been warned every six hours that the games are coming.

And lately we've been bombarded with all these ads featuring naked men wrestling, running, jumping and the like.

I've got nothing against the human body per se but if I see one more youthful, sculpted toosh on prime time I'm going to go mad.

And that's just the start.

We've had to deal with three weeks of drug-induced heroics while athletes attempt to set a world record for the one hundred metre dash and twelve-year-olds flit around a square mat twirling ribbons.

It's gone too far.

The original concept of farther, faster, and higher has given way to judging, injecting, and jostling for endorsements.

It's a multi-billion dollar boondoggle that means more to Visa and Fuji Film than it does to sport.

Just to show you how far we've strayed, remember the International Olympic Committee has given serious consideration to ballroom dancing and bridge as possible sports.

Can't you hear the American commentator now?

"That was a brilliant play. The club lead is bound to force the Russian's ace. The only question is, can the exhausted Americans remain upright to the end of the rubber."

Something drastic has to be done.

Here's what I suggest.

Eliminate anything that has to be judged. That way we won't be forced to witness the Nigerian or Polish judge give a boxing win to a fighter who spent most of the three rounds looking like he was playing dodgeball.

Nor will we have to suspend our disbelief and accept that there really was a difference between the vaulter who scored 9.987 and the one who scored 9.9 - apart from the fact one was from Romania.

The second thing we'll have to do is eliminate team sports.

Let's face it, the only team sport the original Greeks were into was the Trojan war or possibly skewering Persians.

Finally, and I don't care if it's in metres, yards, or cubits, if you can't measure it, throw it out.

Oh, yeah. And drop those naked young men ads.