TIM BELFORD

And who shall be our Royal Highness? Just in case…

You just never know.

A couple of years ago, those who know no better were trumpeting the end of the sovereignty movement in Quebec.

Well, surprise! Like the Energizer Bunny it just keeps on going. And now, thanks to the Gomery enquiry and the Liberal party giving new meaning to the term "passing the buck'," the federalist option is at an all-time low.

If a federal election were held tomorrow probably the only safe liberal seat in the province would be Westmount.

Which is one more safe seat than the provincial Liberals would have.

So, I guess it's about time to think the unthinkable and plan for an orderly separation.

Fortunately there's a precedent.

It was 100 years ago this week that Norway voted to split away from Sweden.

Much like Quebec, Norway had never really experienced any autonomy.

First the Danes ran things. And then in 1814, following the treaty of Kiel (Norway's Plains of Abraham), the Swedes took over.

Now, the Norwegians didn't have anything against the Swedes, except for their language, their arrogance, and the sissy way they played hockey. But by 1905 it seemed a pretty good idea that they should be maitre Chez Oslo.

Like any good neighbours, as soon as the Norwegians announced they were going to set up their own parliament - something called a Storting - the Swedes contemplated war.

Fortunately for the Norwegians it was the Swedes after all and going to war was like going into the corner after a puck - something they hadn't done for a couple of centuries.

So, much to everyone's relief, an amicable separation was organized.

Mind you, the Norwegians had to decide what kind of government they were going to have - a republic or a monarchy.

Not wanting to seem too radical they opted for the former.

And here's where things get a little sticky.

We can't expect Quebec to vote for keeping Good Queen Bess like the rest of Canada, so we'd have to pick our own head of state.

Norway, by the way, opted for Prince Carl of Denmark. He was Scandanavian and he was also married to Maude Charlotte Mary Victoria, daughter of England's Eddy the VII.

So, there they were with their Royal Highnesses Carl and Maude.

Of course, we could pick one of Liz's unused kids - maybe Randy Andy or Anne or, better still, the youngest of the brood, the Earl of Wessex and his wife.

Carl and Maude would have nothing over Eddy and Sophie!

Then again, we could go local. But I'm not sure any native-born clan has the royal jelly.

The Molsons and the Prices have the wrong nomenclature and the Bombardiers, Peladeaus, and Desmarais are a little too commercial.

The Trudeaus are federalists and Lucien Bouchard is a little too, how should we put it, Louis the XIV.

Luckily, we've got a little time since the danger of Jean Charest calling an election in the immediate future is slim to none.

So put on your thinking caps. After all, it's always best to be prepared.