DEC
2019
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Frank Bernheisel: The View From Here
Frank Bernheisel
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Frank Bernheisel
Posted 11.12.20
Just Outside Washington

FRANK BERNHEISEL

WHERE'S MY MAGAZINE?

I subscribe to the Economist as one of my news sources. It leans conservative, and it carries news from all parts of the world. I look forward to its delivery, which is usually on Friday but sometimes it is Saturday. Last week it did not come, and I thought: well, Monday for sure. The Monday mail came, Tuesday mail came, and still no Economist.

Then, I thought damn, I let my subscription lapse. When one gets older, one does that sort of stuff. I called the Economist subscription department and checked. Carol told me that my subscription was good through February 2021; and, besides, I was on automatic renewal.

This delay cannot be the fault of the U.S. Postal Service, their motto is: Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Right? Well, not quite right.

Actually, that quote is from Histories by Herodotus, referring to the courier service of the ancient Persian Empire and is about 2500 years old. However, the U.S. Postal Service had adopted it as their informal motto.

Then came, Louis DeJoy, who in the 'gloom of nigh' limits the hours of postal workers, removes mailboxes, and removes mail sorting machines. DeJoy must also be the guy at the Postal Service responsible for the ballots 'dumped in rivers'.

My Economist must have been dumped into the Potomac River by mistake. I wonder, did the cover look like a ballot? What to do?

Aha! I will call the Potomac Conservancy, who does clean up of trash dumped into the Potomac River and see if they have found my Economist along with all those ballots that keep clogging the river.

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