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John Mahoney's Free-fire Zone
John Mahoney
John Mahoney
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is editor of the Log Cabin Chronicles.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 04.01.04
Fool's Hollow, Quebec

JOHN MAHONEY

Activists kill dwarf-tossing bash

FITCH BAY, QC | The Annual Tossing of the Dwarves Day celebration here was abruptly cancelled early this morning following court action by an activist group.

Judge Ronald Macdonald of the Quebec Inferior Court granted a stay of performance to Le comité de protection des petits nains.

The activist group argued that the planned dwarf-tossing festivity would be "demeaning, disrespectful, and dangerous."

"We are "désolé, said organizer Johnny Charest. "People look forward to tossing these little buggers around all year. And the dwarves love it. Really, it's a reaffirmation of their usefulness to society."

The anti-tossing committee has threatened to shut down the annual Tossing festival for several years.

Last year, activists attempted to disrupt the day-long party by netting the dwarves in mid-air and spiriting them away. This led to a punch-up between the anti and pro tossing factions. Several activists were tossed into Sucker Brook, which winds through this rural village.

"This year, we won," said anti-tosser Jean-Paul Jones. "Next, we're going to shut down the annual Midget Curling Championships in Beebe. There'll be no more skidding our Little People on their bums down icy rinks."

"Yeah, Power to the Little People," Charest said shortly. "And this year CTV was going to broadcast the party. What a rotten shame…"

For more information, e-mail annualdwarftoss.com

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