Log Cabin Chronicles
John Mahoney's Free-fire Zone
John Mahoney
John Mahoney
is editor of the Log Cabin Chronicles.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 05.12.03
Cedarville, Quebec


Beautiful Waters lake monster re-surfaces

SOMEWHERE, QC-VT | It appears, now that the ice is out, as if the Great Snake of Lake Memphremagog is back, just in time for the summer tourist season.

First, there was the recent report in the Caledonian Record of a one-hump sighting by the celebrated Mrs. Murgatroyd of Newport, Vermont.

The same story, by reporter Robin Smith, said an unnamed woman had recently experienced a two-hump sighting.

Today, a check of the LCC's proprietary Fo-kam lake monster hunting camera network revealed -- are you ready for this? -- a three-humper.

Yes, that's the bald-faced fact: our Fo-kam cameras caught the elusive lake monster humping its way down the lake. A section of the monster's back appeared briefly above the surface, distorted into three humps -- yes, three glistening wet humps -- by its natural forward-motion rhythm.

Well, I was thrilled. Three humps, and so early in the season, too.

For obvious reasons of security in this dangerous age, our Fo-kams must remain in undisclosed, but highly, secure locations.

Be sure to investigate the LCC's Lake Monster Mini-site. There are actual video stills, reports of sightings, and a link to Jacques Boisvert's Memphré website. He's the world's only genuine dracontologist, with thousands of underwater hours to his credit.

Yours for ever more humps.