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John Mahoney's Free-fire Zone
John Mahoney
John Mahoney
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is editor of the Log Cabin Chronicles.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 05.17.03
Fool's Hollow, Quebec

JOHN MAHONEY

But it's my lake monster

And here's to you, Mrs. Murgatroyd
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Murgatroyd
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...Memphré is free today)
[My apology to Paul Simon]

Yup, this ex-flatlander woman down in Newport, Vermont -- Barbara Malloy aka Mrs. Murgatroyd -- is obsessed with the belief that she owns and controls all rights to and expressions of the mythological sea serpent that dwells in Lake Memphremagog.

And she is very litigious, in a sea serpent sort of way

Now, Robin Smith, a reporter with Caledonian Record out of St. Johnsbury, Vermont, has taken the lid off this nasty little can-of-worms story. You can get the full monty on-line HERE.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: I say ex-flatlander because Mrs. M moved to Vermont from someplace away but, once a flatlander, always a flatlander.)

Mrs. M has threatened lots of people with lawsuits -- including moi (see below) -- for writing about the lake monster, which diver/historian Jacques Boisvert of Magog, Quebec, has popularized the world over.

Jacques, a self-invented 'dracontologist' who once conferred the title on Mrs. M as a matter of international goodwill, is the man who came up with the moniker Memphré for the lake monster.

No matter, Mrs. M says she owns all rights to the lake monster and has threatened to sue Jacques, too. After all, she has 'seen' the lake monster more than once and Jacques -- despite more than 5000 scuba dives in Lake Mempremagog - today is still monster-sightless.

She's been hassling the local chamber of commerce down in Newport, too. Lawyer Duncan Kilmartin, with whom I privately discussed the Great Snake of Memphremagog issue some months ago, has been working quietly behind the monster scene on behalf of the chamber of commerce.

You can get my take on our lake monster collective myth HERE.

And did I mention that Mrs. M forbade Ms. Smith to write about 'her' lake monster?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I was threatened with racketeering charges by Mrs. M's legal junk yard dog for having the temerity of designing and producing a tee shirt with a lake monster illustration and the words 'Newport, Vermont'.

Mrs. M also scared off the local public access cable TV station from airing a video that I was to produce with Charlie Tetreault of Newport and Jacques Bosivert of Magog. It would have contained a video clip made of something strange and slithery in the Canadian end of the lake several years ago. The stills from this video clip can be viewed HERE.]

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