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Ross Murray's Border Report
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Ross Murray
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is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, Quebec. You can reach him at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Posted 7.23.18
Stanstead, Quebec

ROSS MURRAY

1968

1968 (MCMLXVIII) was a leap year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar. It was kind of a big year for Debbie Bishop.

January 15 ~ An earthquake in Sicily kills 380 and injures around 1,000. Debbie Bishop has been known to shake it on the dance floor.

January 22 ~ Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In debuts on NBC. Debbie Bishop can't tell a joke to save her life.

February 11 ~ Border clashes take place between Israel and Jordan. Debbie Bishop also lives on the border and once flagrantly brought a lemon into the United States.

March 31 ~ U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announces he will not seek re-election. Debbie Bishop is in her first term as an elected municipal councillor. She has not yet decided whether she will seek re-election, but she's doing a bang-up job, don't you think?

April 4 ~ Martin Luther King Jr. is shot dead at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee. This was truly a tragic day in history. Equally tragic is that, for years, Debbie Bishop thought the song went, "I shot the sheriff -- But I did not shoot the dead beauty."

April 29 ~ The musical Hair officially opens on Broadway. Debbie Bishop continues to surprise us by appearing this summer in her first-ever theatrical production, Little Shop of Horrors, and equally surprising, there is no nudity!

May 11 ~ The Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup in four straight games against the St. Louis Blues. As a young girl, Debbie Bishop was hit in the mouth with a hockey puck, resulting in an injury still visible today but one that in no way detracts from her stunning, ageless beauty.

June 2 ~ Students protest in Belgrade, Yugoslavia. Debbie Bishop frequently protests shoes left scattered in the hallway. I mean, seriously, why are there so many shoes?

June 12 ~Rosemary's Baby premieres in the U.S. Debbie Bishop's babies premiere in 1991, 1994, 1995 and 2001.

July 4 ~ Yachtsman Alec Rose receives a hero's welcome as he sails into Portsmouth, England after his 354-day round-the-world trip. Debbie Bishop receives a hero's welcome from the dog every time she leaves the house for even 10 minutes.

July 22 ~ Oh, hello, Debbie Bishop!

July 25 ~ Pope Paul VI publishes the encyclical entitled Humanae vitae, on birth control. Birth control is proven ineffective on Debbie Bishop.

August 11 ~ The last steam passenger train service runs in Britain. Debbie Bishop and I used to take the train from Sackville, NB and Sherbrooke, Que. and get up to all kinds of hijinks.

August 29 ~ Crown Prince Harald of Norway marries Sonja Haraldsen, the commoner he has dated for 9 years. Debbie Bishop married me, also a commoner, about as common as they come, actually.

September 7 ~ 150 women (members of New York Radical Women) arrive in Atlantic City, New Jersey to protest against the Miss America Pageant, as exploitative of women. Debbie Bishop often leaves her bra hanging off the kitchen chair, but it's not an act of protest.

September 24 ~ "60 Minutes" debuts on CBS and is still on the air as of 2018. Debbie Bishop is still breathing air as of 2018.

October 31 ~ Citing progress in the Paris peace talks, U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announces that he has ordered a complete cessation of “all air, naval, and artillery bombardment of North Vietnam” effective November 1. Also Halloween; whatever you do, don't ask Debbie Bishop about the pumpkin story.

November 14 ~ Yale University announces it is going to admit women. That's ridiculous! Also: Debbie Bishop persevered and earned her degree while working and raising a family, and that's freakin' impressive.

November 24 ~ 4 men hijack Pan Am Flight 281 from JFK International Airport, New York to Havana, Cuba. Also, future heartthrob, Ross Murray, turns 3, unaware that one day he would marry Debbie Bishop.

December 9 ~ Douglas Engelbart publicly demonstrates his pioneering hypertext system, NLS, in San Francisco, together with the computer mouse. Debbie Bishop still doesn't do social media, so there's no good way to wish her happy birthday on this milestone occasion, although she is pretty handy with emojis.

December 24 ~The manned U.S. spacecraft Apollo 8 enters orbit around the Moon. Astronauts Frank Borman, Jim Lovell and William A. Anders become the first humans to see the far side of the Moon and planet Earth as a whole, as well as having traveled further away from Earth than any people in history. Debbie Bishop is also out of this world.

[1968 facts brazenly copied from Wikipedia.]

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