DEC
2018
   LOG CABIN CHRONICLES    UPDATED
DAILY

Ross Murray's Border Report
headshot
Ross Murray
spacer
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, Quebec. You can reach him at ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Posted 11.30.14
Stanstead, Quebec

ROSS MURRAY

Forever 41: A Company Prospectus

Our Vision

Forever 41 is a clothing and lifestyle retailer for people who grew up in the eighties wishing they were growing up in the sixties and are glad they aren't growing up now. Tapping into that nostalgia for feeling nostalgic, Forever 41 espouses a retail attitude that is fun without being silly, serious without being boring and edgy without staying up too late. At Forever 41, we provide fashion makeovers for those who don't know what to make of themselves.

Our Motto

Pants, Like Your Dreams, May Require Alterations

The Forever 41 Customer

Our customers are people in relationships or people who wish they were in relationships or people who were in relationships but are no longer in relationships but might get back into a relationship if they could track down that person they were once in a relationship with back in the day, although, let's get real, if they wanted to be tracked down, don't you think they'd be on Facebook by now?

The Forever 41 woman is not trying to look like her daughter, rather her daughter is tired of looking at that outfit.

The Forever 41 man has nothing better to do. Forever 41 customers aren't conservatives; they've merely developed common sense.

Design and Customer Experience

The Forever 41 shopping experience is all about comfort, and by that we mean there are lots of sofas. Even the escalator to men's wear (Whatever 41) has sofas (the Sofalator41 -- patent pending). Store lighting is cheery but not too bright -- not Target glare but not coffee shop murk either, more like your higher-class St-Hubert Chicken.

Television screens display an endless loop of John Hughes movies while speakers play cutting-edge contemporary music, like Wilco. Definitely no Top 40 because today's music no longer has melody, which is something our target customer read somewhere, probably on Salon.com. Also: the music is not too loud.

The smell of Forever 41 is a combination of Saturday morning breakfast cereal and notarized documents. The walls at Forever 41 are lined with books that our customers have read or, nodding knowingly, pretend they have.

Customers arriving at a Forever 41 outlet are welcomed be smiling, friendly greeters who fill the customers with assurance that they are still attractive. While the company cannot discriminate by age in its hiring practices, the greeters should ideally be young, but not creepy young, if you know what we mean.

Forever 41 stores include a convenient coffee shop, free eye exams and compassionate career counselling.

Our Product

With an emphasis on quality and comfort, all Forever 41 apparel is manufactured in countries that our customers are pretty certain don't have sweatshops, although they could probably do some research, but who has time for that when these prices are so low? Forever 41's GroanUp line of professional work wear says, "I'm really just a 24-year-old at heart and I'm wearing these squaresville fuddy-duds ironically, though secretly I love them."

But the core of the Forever 41 line is our "Let Yourself Go" line of casual wear, including a full array of comfortable, form de-enhancing cotton and fleece variables, perfect for grocery shopping, picking up the kids from school or just spending another Friday night in front of the television the way you once asked someone to shoot you if they ever saw you doing. Here are just a few of our many sloganned baggy T's now available:

Partied Like It Was 1999, Felt Like Crap Til Tuesday
I'm Not Angry, It's Just How I Look Now
Used To Be A Liberal
Got Gravitas?

Finally, Forever 41 features a selection of footwear, including our Rationalization shoes for men, and for the ladies, Letdown Stilettos with their mystery-fibre heels that ask the question, "What's the point?"

At Forever 41, every customer is as special as he was told he was growing up. The Forever 41 experience is great, just not as great as you had hoped.

HOME   COLUMNS   FEATURES   FICTION   OPINION   POETRY   PHOTOGRAPHY