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Ross Murray's Border Report
Ross Murray
Ross Murray
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is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, Quebec. You can reach him at ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Posted 10.07.05
Stanstead, Quebec

ROSS MURRAY

Let us give thanks

Dear Lord, Supreme Being, Creator, Gaia, Intelligent Designer, Great Wombat in the Sky, etc.:

On this Thanksgiving Day, we thank You for the many blessings in our lives, not least of which that we are Canadian and therefore celebrate Thanksgiving in October and not like our American brethren in late November, when the only thing left to harvest is stale Halloween candy.

We thank You for bringing us all together today. Yes, even our cousin Shane who arrived this afternoon unexpectedly from Kapuskasing. We give thanks that he has been paroled and for Your divine intervention in revealing to me two days ago the news article about the shady investment he just tried to convince me to buy into.

Bless Uncle Bill whom, after years of humiliation, I was finally able to take down in arm wrestling earlier this evening. Happy 95th, by the way, Uncle Bill.

Bless this food before us: the turkey, the mashed potatoes, the squash, the peas, and the Jell-O salad with the cottage cheese. On behalf of the children present, bless the dog under the table who will slurp up the Jell-O salad with cottage cheese that they surreptitiously slip to it.

Bless this house. Bless the second mortgage on this house to pay for my children's braces and post-secondary education. Bless this electric heater, which we have to use because we can't afford to fix our furnace, which we couldn't use anyway because we can't afford the price of heating oil this year.

We thank You for our health, although if You wouldn't mind having a look at this rash, I'd really appreciate it.

Bless the flowers, the fruits of the field, the trees. But not our neighbour's pine. That thing is dropping needles all over my yard. Did You ever try to rake those things up?

Thank You for allowing us to live in a country without war, famine, and Pat Robertson.

We pray for peace and no more Canadian Idols.

Thank You for the way the peel sometimes practically falls off a clementine. Don't know why, I just like that. Thought I'd let You know.

Thank You for friends who are always there when we need them and/or their power tools.

Thank You for the little things, like my paycheque.

Thank You sincerely for that billboard I pass each day on the way to work. You know the one.

Thank You for helping me find peace and the television remote.

Thank You for watching over our children, especially since You are much cheaper than our usual babysitter.

Thank You for the gift of poetry, which I will share with my guests now:

I walked along the beach one evening

Near the end of summer seasoning.

I saw a set of footprints in the sand.

I followed them as the sun sunk

And of our Lord I thinked and thunk;

I pictured him as actor Ray Milland.

But then the set of feet stopped walking.

Could it be the Lord was balking,

No longer there like some great cosmic Yoda?

"Where hast Thou gone?" I did inquire.

"Fear not," said He from up on higher

"I just stepped out to get us both a soda."

Thank You for the wine, which I see many of our guests are suddenly drinking a lot of.

Thank You for granting me the strength to change the things I can change, the courage to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know which government agency I can complain to do get it changed in my best interest.

Amen.

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