STANSTEAD, QC | Let us pray:
Thanks for the turkey, thanks for the mussels,
Thanks for the sprouts that came from Brussels,
Thanks for the peas, the corn, the spuds,
Thanks for the beer, both Coors and Buds.
We've traveled afar and we've traveled a-near
For Thanksgiving nosh chez nous this year.
I'm glad you're here; I hope you're peckish.
(Avoid the yams; they're kind of "blech"-ish.)
Let's pause before eating this dinner most tempt-y
To dwell on half-full instead of half-empty.
Let's try not to fixate on how the world's failin',
How instead of redemption we got Sara Palin,
How we always crave scandal instead of real politics,
How instead of solutions, we settle for parlour tricks,
How elected officials they feed paranoia,
How living in fear, brother, it'll destroy ya!
Oh, I could continue, I could keep yakking
With tons of examples of how we've sent packing
This planet, our culture -- in fact, so much dreck --
Signs that society's going to heck.
For example, oil prices: they've sent us all staggering.
But not the oil bosses -- just look at them swaggering,
Buying new yachts with each three-figure bonus --
More disgusting than music by... who? Brothers Jonas?
What passes for culture is simply abysmal,
From shock-jocks on radio to shows like "One Tree Hill."
The poets are dead, newspapers dying,
Literature's "hard," art no one's buying.
A few more examples -- in a bit of a rut, me.
(If you find yourself starving, sample the chutney.)
We're chopping down forests with chainsaw and ax
To make way for cows that become our Big Macs.
We're heating our earth with alarming persistence.
But making life-changes? We put up resistance.
Recycling? Yes. Canvas bags? Sure!
But cars'll drive on 'til the sea's at our door.
Poverty's rampant, the market is tanking
(For this, Mr. Bush and friends we should be thanking).
On MySpace and Facebook there's no sense of modesty.
No wonder we hide in our private iPodisty
Bailouts and shootings, Iran and Iraq,
Tainted meat, Chinese milk -- this I can't hack.
Hurricanes, crashing planes, pandemic apathy,
Britney and Gitmo, oh God! so much crapathy!
Enough! Let's think positive, that's my suggestion.
(I regret if my rant has caused mild indigestion.)
It's Thanksgiving Day so let's all count our blessings.
Let's look on the bright side, not dwell on the messings.
I've found us a symbol, one thing to avail us,
Something so pure there's no way it'll fail us.
And thus I present to each oldster and young 'un
The glory, the goodness, the mild-mannered onion.
So helpful in stuffings, so tasty in soups,
Not hell-bent on needlessly killing our troops,
It always enhances a yummy falafel,
Never, no never, has broken the lawful.
The onion, my friends, is my Thanksgiving icon,
So layered, so loyal, so -- hey, is this mic on?
You stare like I'm crazy -- I understand why --
But with onions...
At least you won't fully despair when you cry.
Amen.
