LOG CABIN CHRONICLES

I don't want a pickle, I just want to ride my motorsickle

BRUCE MILLER
The Old Hermit

The other day, a friend and I were discussing whether I needed a special license to ride my new motorcycle. So I moseyed on over to see the Quebec licensing folks and discovered that it's even easier than I thought.

First, to get registration tags on the bike you must:

a) put the bike on a trailer and take it to a designated inspection center in Sherbrooke.

b) make any necessary changes to have the bike conform to provincial law.

c) return bike on trailer for follow-up inspection and appraisal for tax purposes.

d) take all required paperwork to SAAQ and obtain tag

Piece of cake. a) begin by obtaining "Driver's Handbook" and "Operating a Motorcycle", on sale at any Publications du Quebec outlet (the trick will be to find them en anglais, n'est pas?).

b) study the above and then make an appointment to take a knowledge test at an SAAQ service centre (undisclosed fee).

c) upon passing this theory test you will receive a 6R learner's permit.

d) with your 6R learner's permit in hand, enroll in an accredited driving school (only one in Sherbrooke - 500-1000$ ?).

e) take bike (by trailer) to school's closed practice course for practice.

f) upon completing the course, pass both theory and practical exams.

g) after holding 6R permit for minimum one month and passing driving school's tests, take bike by trailer to an SAAQ outlet and pass their closed-course road test.

h) you now have a class 6A learner's permit and you can drive on the road, but only accompanied by a fully licensed motorcycle driver.

i) after holding your 6A license for a minimum of seven months, make an appointment to take the SAAQ road test.

j) trailer the bike to the SAAQ (or be accompanied by licensed motorcycle driver) and pass the SAAQ road test (90$ road test fee, please).

k) obtain a two-year probationary license (96$ probationary license fee, please).

l) NOTE: probationary licensees are subject to a 4-point ceiling and zero alcohol tolerance.

m) after two years with probationary license you obtain full authorization to drive a motorcycle (fee not disclosed).

There, wasn't that easy? of course I did leave out a few of the fine details.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Expletives and mad laughter deleted.]

Now I know why the Quebec license plates say "Je me souviens" - "I Remember." I remember when the f*****g government hadn't yet made everything under the sun such a complete and total pain in the arse. balls.

[EDITOR;S NOTE: But wait gentle reader -- there's more.]

Today I learned that the Technic Driving School is the only one that gives the motorcycle course, so I called them up in Magog.

"Magog doesn't give the course in English, try Sherbrooke."

i called Technic in Sherbrooke. They give the course only in French -- "Try Montreal."

i called Montreal Technic. "Sorry, French only - try Granby."

Granby, no English courses. "Try Brossard."

Brossard's courses are in you guessed it -- French only.

But the very nice lady in Brossard did hold out a ray of hope, though - "Maybe next year."

As a former Washington Senators baseball fan these words had a vaguely familiar ring to them.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Bruce Miller is a computer programmer and teacher.]


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