Ricky Blue

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RICKY BLUE

The Let's-Ban-Everything Party

MONTREAL | I remember that in the past tolerance was a positive thing. I'm not referring to the current, politically correct group-think regulations that are misleadingly called "tolerance."

I'm referring to real tolerance: the personal enjoyment and appreciation of all the individual differences and eccentricities of other people, and the free expression of those differences.

But that was another age. Back then there used to be a daily cartoon in the funny pages of the newspaper entitled: "There ought to be a law!"

Every possible trivial irritating behavioral trait was portrayed as a caricature with the caption: "There ought to be a law!" The joke was how even though people have irritating faults it would be absurd to try to pass laws against them all.

Yesterday's joke has become today's reality.

We are now in the process of creating a brave new world of behavioral crimes. There seems to be no stopping it.

There are so many people who want to ban things: using cell phones in cars, smoking in bars, cutting down trees, using pesticides on your lawn, peeing into big flush toilets, reading under round light bulbs, wearing fur, leering at scantily clad pedestrians, telling offensive jokes, driving SUVs, driving into the city, driving anywhere, painting flags on your garage door, using field turf for playing fields, practicing polygamy, selling one of your kidneys, building a downtown casino, eating pâté de foie, eating trans fats, eating meat, spanking your children, paying for human eggs, motor boating, jaywalking, whaling, idling, "Support our troops" stickers, globalization, seal hunts, billboards, cloning, laser printers that emit particles into the air, crocs shoes in hospitals, gun clubs, cigarette logos on racing cars, English words on signs…

There is no end to it.

So I am proposing a new political party: The Let's-Ban-Everything-Party. Its members can easily be found on the letters-to-the-editor page of most newspapers.

But they also would be comprised of the many ideologues that make up today's special interest groups, those who espouse tolerance themselves even as they are intolerant of the behavior of others. There is always a damned good statistical rationalization to ban the behavior of others.

We could all unite with them under the big tent of this new political party. Our motto could be: "There ought to be a law!"

The LBEP would have no shortage of support. It would appeal to all the many citizens who, after much thought, have decided that because they have chosen to cease some form of behavior therefore everyone else should.

Those who believe that democracy is not a form of government where individuals are given as much freedom as possible to live their own lives and make their own choices but is rather a form of government where the majority imposes their rules on everyone else.

And if you occasionally get insulted because a new law considers you too stupid to know that something is bad for you or dangerous in any way, there will always be some pet peeve that you too can lay on society by taking away everyone's right to choose it as well.

Today, all human behavior is up for grabs: for regulation, legislation and enforcement. Clearly our many governments have no motivation to protect the freedom of the individual.

More regulation is good for government. It creates taxes and more bureaucracy. Hey - it creates more government!

Perhaps all the old codes of behavior that were once internalized because of parent or religious training have gone - emptied out by consumerism and secular schooling so behavior must now be regulated from the outside, by law.

Otherwise people would be able to do what they wanted to do, and Oh My God, where would that lead?