RICKY BLUE

Having a Blue commercial Christmas is okay

Each Christmas, predictable columns and editorials articulate a general disapproval of the commercialization of the holy season. But I like the commercialization of Christmas.

I like the bustle and the activity. I like all the kitschy lights and all the shelves of glittering stuff because there is wisdom in this most commercial of all holidays.

It is so cheerful and optimistic. It makes everyone feel like loosening their purse strings and spreading economic good cheer all around.

My Christmas wish at this time of maximum retail activity is that we could all learn to sell our ideas to one another like we sell things to one another each Christmas. Rather than trying to force them down each other's throats. Because selling is persuasion and it works so much better than coercion.

Take, for instance, last week's day of mass protests by unions against the Charest government in Quebec. They called it a 'Day of Disturbance.' Does this phrase persuade you to buy it? It's as attractive as a Marilyn Manson poster. It implies chaos and provocation. Why can't our unions learn from contemporary Christmas?

Yes, Quebec workers should get a decent wage. Keeping them happy, healthy and employed is in the best interest of everyone. The more workers are paid, the more they are able to consume the goods our economy produces and the more they will be able to use the services our economy offers. The prosperity and well-being of our whole society depends upon it.

So, come on, workers. Sell it! Let's see a sign that says: "Mr. Charest - help us buy all the bebelles they sell at Wall-Mart." "Mr. Charest - help us pay our orthodontist." And: "If you pay more, we spend more!"

This lack of commercial sensibility is also evident among the proponents of the new Montreal 'AggloMetropolis.' Even a used-car salesman knows that when he tries to sell you a lemon he has to say: "What do I have to do to make this deal attractive enough for you to buy it?"

But what kind of salesmanship do we get?

Bupkes!

They force us to be a part of Montreal and say that should be enough. If they want to make us feel like we are part of Montreal, how about making it possible to drive downtown without being stuck for an hour at the Highway 13 merge?

And how about somewhere to park when we get there?

Just give West Islanders a free-parking sticker: And a slogan: "Shop downtown where parking is free - just like back on the West Island!"

And how about a train down the 20 every half hour right up until midnight? "Missed your train? Don't worry, there's another one in a half hour."

I'd like to hear some selling: Everyone's a winner. Bargains galore. Pay now and get a rebate on your property tax. Act now and receive as our gift to you: bills written in English so you can understand them! Year-end clearance sale. Zero percent financing. Buy a new house now and don't pay tax until 2005! Guaranteed lowest taxes in North America! Water, schools and roads - everything included! No obligation. No salesman will visit your home. Read our free brochure.

Both government and unions can learn much from our contemporary commercial Christmas. Each year at this time their biggest defect becomes clear to us all. They have no experience in retail!