QUEBEC AFFAIRS
Westmount High's favourite son Stockwell Day can be forgiven if his French is only passable after several years instruction in la langue de Molière at that venerable institution.
The school, which for years in the wake of Law 101 bore the simple sign "Westmount" because the words "High" and "School" had been removed to comply with the language rules, was not noted in the sixties for its excellence in producing bilingual graduates.
WHS did a better job with one Mila Pivnicki, however. The future Mrs. Brian Mulroney attended Westmount High at about the same time as Stock but the fluent Mila appears to have paid more attention to her French lessons than the future Canadian Alliance leader.
Day is now playing lingo catch-up and last week insinuated himself into the foyerfoyer has several meanings, ranging from "fireplace" to "residence," as in a home for the aged or disabled. In this case the Coulombe's have welcomed Stock into their foyer, as in "home," not just the lobby as the English word implies.
Day says that, while he has no problem ordering a soup and sandwich in French, he needs to get better acquainted with "political and technical jargon," speaking of which he should learn that in French jargon can also mean gibberish.
The more common term for gibberish, though, would be charabia, which refers to the incomprehensible patois of the Auvergne region of France. Either way, knowing a good French word for nonsensical language would be excellent preparation for Day's debut in the House of Commons.
There are some other French expressions Day should master if he wants to have a better intimacy with the nuances of Quebec politics. Here are a few examples:
Day likes to be called Stock, which is a great asset in Quebec where the expression du stock has the potential for a host of catchy slogans.
Like, "Avec Day, on aura du stock," which would mean a Day government would usher in an era of plenty, since "stock" in French can mean "a bunch of stuff."
Now, seeing as Day and the Alliance will be trying to adapt Mike Harris' Common Sense Revolution to the national stage, it's important he have a grasp of the tricky meanings of the French word sens.
The expression "common sense" translates cleanly into bon sens but bon sens doesn't necessarily sens bon (smell good) particularly if you are a teacher, nurse, or welfare recipient on the receiving end of Harris policies.
The word mari if improperly used also might cause Day some problems. If, for example, Day came out in favour of les droits de mari he would not be making a statement of his conservative pro-family values, maribeing the word for husband. More likely he'd be interpreted as coming out in favour of the legalization of marijuana, a substance he has admitted consuming.
And speaking of coming out, Day must be extra careful of Québécois perjoratives for sexual preferences.
He should shun any temptation to use the French word for fly-swatter (tapette à mouche) lest he be accused of gay-bashing.
If he's invited to visit le village gai in Montreal, he should be aware he's not going to the La Ronde fun park.
On the political front, Day should learn that to dechirer sa chemise (tear one's shirt) is not a reflection on Montreal's garment industry, but a normal and expected reaction by sovereignists to anything coming out of Ottawa.
And if Quebec critics urge Day to mettre de l'eau dans son vin (put water in his wine) it means he should tone down his rhetoric, not change quality standards for Canadian wire exports. Also, if he is told to do away with les pots-de-vin, he is not being urged to toughen booze laws, but to eliminate patronage.
The French spoken in Quebec has a zillion double-entendre expressions, so many traps to fall into, Day might find very quickly that he must marcher sur des oeufs (walk on eggs). All these frustrations might turn him into a soupe au lait (a cranky and thin-skinned person) and that's not the kind of soup Day would want to order, especially in Quebec.
Copyright © 2000 Peter Black/Log Cabin Chronicles/08.00 |
