Lower the lid TIM BELFORD
I see two bright lights from Winnipeg have finally solved the age-old toilet seat debate.
It's called the "considerate seat."
Basically it works on a combination of hydraulics and springs. This way a guy can put the lid up, do his thing, and walk away free as a bird knowing the seat will gradually fall back into place.
This saves him both time and the inevitable wailing of his significant other. And there's no danger of the lid falling at an inappropriate moment.
The timer can be set for one to five minutes which would work even for the morning after a Grey Cup party.
I've never understood the logic of the female complaint 'though.
Why does it rank right up there with the seven deadly sins, to leave the lid up?
Nobody ever complains when women use the facilities and leave the lid down. Although chances are the next person will want it in an upright position.
I know. I know. Women have told me if I'd ever sat myself down and taken a quick dip in the porcelain pool, I'd understand.
My response would be not to sit down on anything until you check it out first.
Actually the problem goes deeper than just the ups and downs of a toilet seat.
Men and women have decidedly different views of bathroom etiquette.
Basically, men look at the bathroom as someplace to carry out bodily functions as well as a place of solace and refuge.
Women think of it as a storage bin.
No bathroom for a woman would be complete unless it contained at least two hundred jars, tubes, and bottles of everything from hand lotion to eye liner.
A man would be happy with a tooth brush and an extra roll of toilet paper.
Women leave behind a hair dryer, hot water bottle, cue tips, three combs, tweezers, scented candles, and enough first-aid equipment to handle a major earthquake.
A guy uses a bathroom to store the most recent issue of sports illustrated.
The female of the species thinks a bath tub should be scrubbed regularly.
The male wonders why you'd bother to wash something that gets covered with soap and water every day anyway.
Unfortunately, inventors can't leave well enough alone.
The two guys who came up with the self-settling toilet seat are coming up with another model that rises on its own after use.
And they think that might solve the problem.
I've got news for them. It won't end the debate. It'll just move it to the hardware store.
Copyright © 1998 Tim Belford/Log Cabin Chronicles/12.98 |
