Jim Austin's Vermonter at Large
Jim Austin
Jim Austin
is a freelance writer from Putney, Vermont.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 11.11.04


Now you done it, America

Unlike the Brattleboro Reformer's more mature editorial policy on George W. Bush's victory, I don't intend to be gracious. I am disappointed in the people of the United States of America. They are in serious trouble with me.

I had forgiven them for the election of 2000. That year Gore received most of the popular vote and only some very fishy shenanigans in Florida resulted in Bush's Presidency. I liken that process to walking across your lawn and stepping in dog poop. It's nasty, it's unfortunate, and maybe it could have been prevented but in the end it was an accident.

This year, 51 percent of the electorate took a stroll in the yard, pried the lid off the septic tank, and dove in. The problem is that those simpletons took all 49 percent of the sensible people along for the ride.

What motivated these Bush supporters? They can't all be foaming fundamentalist snake-handling imbeciles. Can they? I don't think so.

The big surprise greeting exit pollsters was that it wasn't terrorism or the economy that was the biggest influence on people. It was moral values. For this, my friends, you must read gay marriage. People were so aghast that people of the same sex might get married they ignored the largest deficit in history, 900,000 jobs lost, the slaughter of 100,000 Iraqis and over 1000 American soldiers. They ignored the lies, the corruption of Haliburton, the mishandling of explosives, the idiotic shortsightedness of the flu vaccine debacle, and on and on.

All because two guys might kiss each other after a legal wedding.

Some 76 percent of Louisiana voters said that it was moral values that drew them to Bush. This from a state whose largest city, New Orleans, is world famous for public drunkenness, corrupt cops, and women ready to bare their boobs for a string of plastic Mardi gras beads.

The talking heads say that Kerry didn't "resonate" with people from the South and Midwest. So what are the Democrats supposed to do next time? Should they scrape the manure off the boots of some Georgia goober with a big belt buckle, comb his mullet, and trot him out to face another just like him? If so, I'm sure Democratic bug-eyed turncoat Zell Miller is available. Just wipe the grits n' gravy off his lapels and put him on the bus to Iowa in 2008. You want resonance? Just bang Miller over the head with a ball peen hammer and he'll give you resonance.

In retrospect, it may not have been a great idea for P. Diddy to take up the Democratic cause with his Vote or Die t-shirts. How many housewives in Ohio took one look at Mr. Diddy and ran into the scabby arms of George W.? It wasn't a good idea for Kerry to vote for the war and then against the appropriations for the war.

Nobody, me included trusted Kerry.

That voters trusted Bush in 2000, then watched as he violated us time and again seemed not to matter. One deranged woman called an NPR talk show and gave her reasons for voting Bush.

"I know he lied and got us into a war, and the economy is bad and he really doesn't know how to deal with other nations but…Kerry just isn't a warm person."

The Republicans have tapped into a virulent wellspring of ignorance and is profitably pumping it for votes. They got the vote out better than the Democrats. Cheney said that if we voted for Kerry, terrorists would attack us. And he knows this how? Was his info from the same source that zeroed in on the location in Iraq of those weapons of mass destruction? It's cathartic to rant and rave about this situation but it won't do much good. It's to be four more years of Bush and there is nothing we can do about it. That little village in Texas is going to have to do without its idiot for another term.