Jim Austin's Vermonter at Large
Jim Austin
Jim Austin
is a freelance writer from Putney, Vermont.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 08.21.04


False issues, false promises

There are lies and there are damned lies. Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge trotted out a whopper in my opinion.

We all got a little nervous when he sounded the alarm about terrorist threats to our financial institutions. The threat level was designated "orange," which means: "something really rotten is going to happen almost for sure."

Now we come to find out that the information he is basing his terror warning on is several years old. It is pre-9/11 for crying out loud.

Why now? What is going on?

The answer to the second question is an announcement he made just following the threat bulletin. "There is nothing whatsoever political about this announcement," he averred, eyelashes batting with fluttery innocence.

I think that lie trumps the original lie. It is most certainly political, in its entirety. They can prove that the information was there because it is on record. The fact that most of it is pre-9/11 seems to indicate to me that the threat may have been referring to the World Trade Center which, if you will recall, was attacked and destroyed.

The "why" is of course the war in Iraq. This war is a great, big, smelly albatross around the neck of this President. He and his pal Tom will do anything to push the dead bodies of our service men and women off the front page and replace it with stories about terror where, the polls say, Bush is doing a swell job. Take a pause now while your stomach turns.

Did you happen to notice that Pakistani troops, along with elements of our CIA, captured ten Al Qaeda operatives the other day? Did you also happen to notice that this happened the day after John Kerry's speech at the Democratic National Convention?

What a coincidence, right? What better way to blunt your enemy's sword than to take him out of the news loop and replace it with some juicy little victory of your own?

There are rumors abounding in Islamabad that our pal, ally, and Dictator of Pakistan, General Mushareef has got a slammer full of Al Qaeda bad guys on ice just waiting for the right moment to spring them on an unsuspecting U.S. public. They may even have the decomposing corpse of a certain bastard named Bin Laden all ready for an October surprise. Our troops may even find a cache of WMD's in Baghdad to put on display just before November 2.

That would take a lot of chutzpah but you never know with this pack of zealots -- they think we'll swallow anything.

The gay marriage debate that is crowding out news of Bush malfeasances is classic dazzle. Get all the bigots worked into a lather, even to the point of a faux attempt at changing the U.S. constitution. The goobers will stagger out of their trailers in droves to vote for George.

One state has succeeded in changing their state constitution, despite the fact that there is already a law on the books stating that marriage is between one man and one woman. Which state, you ask?

Try Missouri, home of John Ashcroft, our "Inquisitor General". Missouri is a very valuable state to George W. He doesn't believe in evolution and Missouri hasn't evolved.

Finally, a very big lie from a very sad man. Ralph Nader claims that his candidacy is not going to hurt the Democrats. He has trouble explaining why Republicans are madly gathering signatures to put him on the ballot in swing states but he brazens the lie until it is dull and frayed.

Ralph Nader has done more for consumer rights than anyone else in this country, maybe anyone else ever. He will be remembered as a self-centered, egomaniac who allowed his lust for recognition to pave the way for the worst administration in US history. And, he is trying to do it again. I hope somebody donates a brand new Corvair limo to Ralph's campaign.