Jim Austin's Vermonter at Large
Jim Austin
Jim Austin
is a freelance writer from Putney, Vermont.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 010.22.05


A Parliament of Pinheads

My, my, my ain't there just a heap of trouble in our little Nazi paradise on Pennsylvania Avenue?

The chickens are coming home to roost in big ugly squadrons and they are bringing bird flu with them. Let us, in no particular order, examine the contents of this sack of worms.

Bush's nominee for the Supreme Court has everyone in a major tizzy. "He nominated the cleaning lady," is how Bill Maher put it on his irreverent TV show.

The question of course that is getting the religious right's undies in a bundle is that of Roe vs Wade. Will she or won't she?

Are they nuts? Of course she is against abortion. She is a former Catholic who crossed over to the "Born Again" side of the street. She's more against abortion than the aborted fetus's themselves. And Uncle Bush keeps saying "she's religious and she'll never change, nudge nudge wink wink.

Typically, the Democrats are confused and unable to take a stand.

Minority leader Harry Reid is all in favor of Meir's nomination, which may be a ruse to upset the God Squad.

Senator Charles Schumer, the most sanctimonious mouthpiece on the Judiciary Committee, says that after their interview he knew less about Meir than before.

What a news flash -- a Democrat who is confused.

Here is the deal. The heretic-burning imbeciles who form a large part of Bush's base don't like him anymore. He's spending too much on black people and hasn't been successful enough in rooting science teachers out of those science classes.

They wanted a nominee who had a clear-cut record of anti-abortion, anti-evolution, anti-gay, anti-communist decisions and rhetoric. If their decisions were rendered in "tongues," so much the better.

Another big foofaraw involves Bush's brain, Karl Rove. Karl was ticked to the max over that quisling Joseph Wilson who refused to back up his fantasy about Iraq buying uranium yellow cake from Niger. How dare he not support the Grand Regent's scheme to start a bogus war?

Rove apparently had to have his vengeance. Karl decided to "out" Joe's wife Valerie Plame, who was a CIA undercover operative. This not only ruined her career but the careers of everyone who worked to maintain her cover. They all became suspect and presumably all recalled.

Rove used his power to go after the family of a person who displeased him. Now who does that sound like? Hint: he recently moved from a spider hole to a more secure facility.

Not enough corruption for you? How about the double indictment of Tom "the Hammer" Delay, the former majority leader? His arrogant money laundering and misuse of funds was an open book, according to his enemies. Nobody wanted to take him on because hey, he's the Hammer.

Well, a nasty prosecutor in Texas wants him in handcuffs. Sometimes it pays to treat a nasty thug like a nasty thug. It's Hammer Time.

"Good job, Brownie," is a statement that will feature in the ever-increasing lexicon of Bush statements he wishes he hadn't made. It compares well to "Sadaam tried to purchase that yellow cake from Niger" and "Wait a minute I have to see what happens to My Pet Goat." He was referring, of course, to the job his crony Michael Brown was doing in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina.

The subsequent record showed that an autistic chimpanzee would have handled the job more efficiently.

Due to space restrictions I won't go into Bush's social security scam or the torture of prisoners policy that he seems bent on preserving or the rising death toll in Iraq.

In conclusion, the latest eyebrow raiser concerns the recent Iraqi referendum on whether or not to accept their constitution cooked up by Bush's handpicked government. It seems that some districts had "thousands" of yes votes emanating from "hundreds" of registered voters.

Imagine that, an election authored by the Bush administration containing irregularities. Gadzooks, what irony.