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Tim Belford: Short Takes On Life
Tim Belford
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Tim Belford
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Tim Belford is host of Quebec A.M. -- CBC Radio's popular English- language morning show (91.7 FM, 6-9, Mon.-Fri). He also is said to know a thing or three about wine.

ARCHIVED COLUMNS
Posted 12.26.04
Quebec City

TIM BELFORD

Dear Santa

Dear Santa, It's been quite a long time since I last dropped you a line.

I know I've been meaning to write but you know how things are.

By the way, I don't know if I ever thanked you for that lovely bicycle. It was a beauty. I'm writing to you now not so much for myself but for some of my friends.

It looks like I'll do pretty well Anyway. I saw the love of my life checking out the prices on the new Lexus so I think I'm in for a real surprise come Christmas morning.

Nope, this is for others.

I can't really guarantee whether they've been naughty or nice so I'll leave that up to you. You've got better records on that sort of thing anyway.

It's a bit of a long list so here goes.

1. For Pierre Pettigrew, our Minister of Foreign Affairs who's had a pretty busy year, what with Iraq and Star Wars and all those cocktail parties, I'd like a gift certificate to Chez Antoine's House of hair styling.

2. Gary Bettman, the Commissioner of the NHL, I'd like a salary cap to get the league going again. If that's too much, maybe some lifts for his shoes so he'll have a chance at seeing eye to eye with player's rep Bob Goodenow on something.

3. For Minister of Citizenship and Immigration, Judy Sgro, I'd like Just what the Christmas song says, ''Nine ladies dancing.''

4. if you could manage it, I'd like a nice retirement home on the Bow River for Alberta Premier Ralph Klein.

5. I'd also like a 10 pound box of chocolates for Celine Dion, along with a life-time supply of poutine from the Café Warwick, a round of Riopelle cheese, a box of fudge, 20 pounds of lasagna from da Leonardo's, and a bathroom scale to give her inspiration.

6. Could you manage to brighten Bernard Landry's day - and most of ours - with a long-term renewal of his contract as leader of the Parti Québécois?

7. While you're at it, I'd really appreciate It if you could send George W. Bush a copy of Rodney Dangerfield's autobiography.

8. And I know Prime Minister Paul Martin would love a copy of Smith and Crawley's ''Budgeting for Beginners.''

9. Finally, for Quebec Premier Jean Charest, I'd like whatever you're going to give the other premiers, execept could you make it in a different colour? You know, asymetrical and all that.

Well, that's about it. I hope I haven't asked for too much in this day and age of super sizing -- you can never be too sure.

Sincerely,

Timmy Belford.

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