Tim Belford: Short Takes On Life
Tim Belford
Tim Belford
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Tim Belford is host of Quebec A.M. -- CBC Radio's popular English- language morning show (91.7 FM, 6-9, Mon.-Fri). He also is said to know a thing or three about wine.

Posted 10.07.02
Quebec City


I'm giving in and eating it all

I give up. I've had it.

I'm Sonny Liston, slumped in the corner, not answering the bell as Ali dances around the ring.

I've thrown in the towel.

I'm the U.S hockey team watching Gretsky's wonder workers claim the Olympic gold.

I'm the skater who finished second to Katrina le May Doan.

I'm whipped. I'm beaten. I'm calling it a day.

I've given up on eating properly.

When they told me animal fat was making my arteries as clogged as the Decarie Express way on a Friday afternoon, I cut back on meat.

When they said butter would kill me, I switched to margarine.

When they said margarine was full of transfatty acids because of hydrogination, I switched to Becel.

Then they told me crackers and cheese were out because those crackers were full of oil.

I moved to melba toast.

When frying got a bad rap I switched to broiling and baking. And when broiling and baking proved to be just as bad. I steamed.

I've worried so much about pesticides and fertilizers I've gone organic.

But then they said even the organic vegetables are sucking up the PCBs from the soil.

I reveled in my red wine when they told me it was full of anti-oxidants that would retard the aging process.

Then they told me I'd age well but my liver and kidneys would give out.

Now, a Swedish research team has discovered that a naturally produced substance in starchy foods like potatoes, pasta, and bread is probably carcinogenic when heated enough to cook.

The substance, whose name I can't remember but which has a lot of As and Cs and Ys in it, reacts badly to baking, broiling, and frying.

That means the best way to eat bread is while it's still flour.

And the only way to eat potatoes or meat is to boil them.

Interestingly enough, this is just about the same diet my ancestors lived on --good old boiled diner with meat done to death and vegetables as limp as a politician's promise.

The thing is, they lived about twenty years less on average than we do today.

Breast-fed babies are more prone to asthma later in life. Bottle-fed babies don't get the natural antibodies needed to fight a whole slew of problems.

One drink a day is good, four is a death sentence.

No meat and you need iron. Too much meat and you need a bypass.

Eat broccoli and you have to explain yourself to the Bush family, along with anyone from Iraq, the Al q'aida, or the anti-meat lobby.

It's a no-win situation.

So I don't know about you, but I'm waving the white flag and throwing down my dietary arms and giving in to temptation.

If the Swedes are right and even baking bread and potatoes causes irreparable damage, then I'm doomed.

But I'll go out with a smile on my face.