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Tim Belford: Short Takes On Life
Tim Belford
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Tim Belford
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Tim Belford is host of Quebec A.M. -- CBC Radio's popular English- language morning show (91.7 FM, 6-9, Mon.-Fri). He also is said to know a thing or three about wine.

ARCHIVED COLUMNS
Posted 06.01.05
Quebec City

TIM BELFORD

The Welsh, ah, the loving Welsh

Okay, I didn't really mind when I found out I apparently peaked sexually when I was eighteen. I just didn't believe it.

Even if my female friends snickered 'cause they could coast until their mid-thirties.

But I have to draw the line somewhere.

Esquire magazine recently came out with an article that says what they call "the peak age" for both men and women is actually eleven.

Now, it's one thing to be past your peak but it's an entirely different thing to be at the stage when you don't even remember your peak.

At my age, remembering eleven is like having intimate knowledge of Jurassic Park.

To be perfectly fair, however, the people at the International Longevity Centre who came up with the number are actually talking about something called our "maximum survival potential."

They also point out that people peak at eleven because of something called a Gompertz Curve.

I don't know what it means either, but if you understand logarithms you're probably nodding your head.

Anyway, these people, the ones at the International Longevity Centre are a bunch of scary dudes.

They're the same people who calculate that you're going to live to be 78.2 years of age if you're a healthy fifty-year-old male now.

But only if you don't smoke, drink two glasses of red wine a day, and eat like a Greek shepherd.

Now, that doesn't mean you can chow down on lamb five days a week.

In actual fact, they suggest you eat between five and thirteen servings of fruit and vegetables a day.

Think about it.

Thirteen servings of fruit and vegetables a day is an apple, a banana, a bunch of grapes, an orange a potato, an order of broccoli, some carrots, a few beans, a glass of grape fruit juice, a half cup of peas, a tomato, two figs and five brussels sprouts.

Sounds about right to me.

Then they go on to mention, gratuitously I think, that even if you decimate your garden once every twenty-four hours you're still going to lose five per cent of your muscle mass every decade after 40.

At that rate I'm lucky I have enough strength left to pick all the vegetables I need.

The one bright spot in this whole analysis of aging is when it comes to sex.

Apparently, maintaining an active sex life is a good thing.

They actually carried out a survey of 918 Welsh males and found out that, after a decade, those who manage to get it on with their significant others the most had half the risk of death of those whose wife said "Not tonight dear, I have a headache.'"

Which, of course, means either doing it leads to a long life or being Welsh and doing it does the trick.

But then again, what do I care. My life peaked when I was eleven.

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