DEC
2019
   LOG CABIN CHRONICLES    UPDATED
DAILY

The Gallivanting Gourmand
Greg Duncan
Greg Duncan
spacer
is a freelance writer based in the Montreal region. He is particularly keen about good food. In his day job, Greg is the executive director of the Quebec Community Newspapers Association.

His previous columns are archived HERE.

Posted 05.10.03
Montreal

GREG DUNCAN

Steaking my claim on turning right on red

I have just realized that being allowed to turn right on a red light has its perks after all. There is a downside however. Quebec's recent new traffic regulation will allow you to eat fast food even faster.

Remember last month while you waited impatiently at that intersection? There was a Macdonald's on the right, a Harvey's on the left and a KFC across the street. The A&W was cater corner and yet you could not get to either one.

Valuable munching time was lost as you waited on that red light so you furtively turned into the gas station just before the light, nipped around the back, and joyously parked in front of a fast food palace.

Content with your driving and negotiating skills, you then stood in line and smugly ordered. Congratulations. You beat the system. Off the island of Montreal you will now be allowed to satisfy your fat cravings a little quicker.

Spot a poutine on your right? Just turn on the flasher and it's yours. I have calculated that time saved added to calories gained is exactly equal to an amount of lost television time. This, coupled with what I call the Lazy Boy factor, is a valuable savings.

Thank you ex-premier Bernard Landry for allowing some real value while you were still in power. Unfortunately for radio moguls, this new traffic allowance will result in less "drive at five" listening power. As an avid newspaper reader, I now have gained valuable reading time, which means literacy advocates should be pleased.

I predict a rise in sales of prime right-hand corner real estate and any worthy franchisee can say they heard it here first. After all, location is everything these days and a right turn on red is a good thing. I promised a recipe for a red-brand steak a couple of weeks ago, should the Liberals win the provincial election. I will now dub the following recipe as follows.

VICTORY STEAK

Two- 2-inch thick filets mignon
I/4 pound oyster mushrooms
4 cloves garlic (whole- not chopped)
Montreal steak spice
2 ounces good brandy or cognac
I tbsp butter
I tsp olive oil

Keep a kitchen fire extinguisher at the ready and nearby. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Turn your stove fan on. Sprinkle liberal amounts of steak spice on both sides of steaks. Sear steaks on each side briefly in a heavy cast iron pan in oil, butter and garlic over high heat. Add oyster mushrooms to pan and coat with juices and oil. Place steaks and pan directly in oven and cook for ten minutes.

Remove from oven and let rest in pan for another five minutes. Place pan and steaks back on burner over high heat and immediately pour over cognac or brandy. Carefully light the brandy/cognac on fire and stand back until the flames go out. Do a victory dance and enjoy these steaks medium rare.

HOME   COLUMNS   FEATURES   FICTION   OPINION   POETRY   PHOTOGRAPHY