Log Cabin Chronicles

animated computer A Vermonter's Guide
to Computerese

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add wood.
Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Getting the firewood off the pickup.
Floppy Disk: What you get from stacking too much firewood.

Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.
RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.

Screen: What you need for black fly season.
Byte: What black flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.

Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.

Software: Them plastic eating utensils.
486 MB: One of them fancy imported cars.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: C'mon in!
Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks.
Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
Apple: If you don't know, I ain't tellin'.
Program: What's on TV when there's reception.

DIN: The noise at the barn dance.
Laser: Someone less ambitious than you.
Line In: What you do when you go fishing or what you dry your laundry on.


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Copyright © 1997 John Mahoney
Log Cabin Chronicles/4.97