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Ricky Blue's Other Life
Ricky Blue
Ricky Blue
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is a Montreal-based humorist, singer, and writer. He and partner George Bowser are the famous Bowser and Blue comedy act. Here's his bio from their Bowser and Blue website.

Ricky Blue was born in Liverpool, England, but raised in Maine, New Jersey, and Toronto. He has an MA in English from Concordia University. He has been involved in bands and media music in Montreal for over twenty years. In 1981 he won an international 'Clio' award for excellence in advertising.

He once appeared on television naked.

His life had no real meaning, however, until he began to play with Bowser and Blue. Rick plays guitar, mandolin, and harmonica, and sings in a rather pleasant baritone when George will let him.

His columns are archived here

Posted 09.16.03

RICKY BLUE

Civil disobedience - it's the way to go

Last week, a hidden microphone caught this exchange at a meeting of the very secret West Island Warriors Society.

Whitebread: We have to do something. They will never give up more tax money.

Golden Oldie: But they laugh at our protests.

The Italian Sausage: But it's our land! Our identity!

Whitebread: That's right. We are witnessing an unprecedented theft. The theft of our identity as citizens living in Beaconsfield, Pointe Claire, or Kirkland. The theft of our own municipal governments.

Oldie: They made it possible for us to stand up and declare our determination to remain Canadian during the last referendum.

Sausage: Yeah. So now those towns are being eliminated by the Quebec government. Coincidence? I don't think so. Failing at the big heist: the theft of our country, in one last act of pique, with only one hour of debate, they rammed through a legislation stealing our towns.

Egghead: Theft. I like that concept. What is being taken from us? Our taxes - our money - to be arbitrarily redistributed throughout the city. Charles Dickens called money "portable property." Money is property. And according to the dictionary this is what theft is: (Reads) "Theft, noun, the dishonest taking of property belonging to another person with the intention of depriving the owner permanently of its possession." Our property is being taken away from us without our consent.

Whitebread: The Quebec Charter of Rights says that no one may enter upon the property of another or take anything therefrom without his express or implied consent.

Sausage: So that would include a town, right?

Egghead: Even the United Nations' Universal Charter of Human Rights says: No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.

Egghead: There was nothing more arbitrary than the forced merger.

Amazon: Forced against our will. We said: "No." We even held referendums and said: "No" all together. But when it comes to Quebec politics, no never means no. We got screwed anyway. We can stand up and scream in their faces: How many times do we have to say No? And they still don't listen. But maybe that's what gets these politicians off. Screwing their constituents. It's rape. But I refuse to be a victim.

Whitebread: Disruption. That's the key. We have to get attention. We have to show the world that the Quebec government can't get away with this.

Sausage: I have one word for you: Blockade!

There was a long pause of hushed silence.

Sausage: It worked for the Mohawks.

Oldie: Yeah. How about just this side of the Decarie Expressway. Construction has already done half our job for us.

Amazon: Can you imagine how that would disrupt Montreal? The West Island is very important, you know. The 40 runs through us.

Sausage: Yeah, that's why they're amalgamating us now, before West Islanders actually realize how important we are and start demanding equality.

Amazon: You know how they can't stand equality in Quebec. (Raising her fist) Our cities, ourselves!

Oldie: (Excited) I'll get my Minivan.

Sausage: You better be a look out.

Oldie: (Disappointed) Why?

Sausage: When things get hot we're gonna have to move fast.

Oldie: So?

Sausage: You don't think that walker is gonna get in the way?
 

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