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Ricky Blue's Other Life
Ricky Blue
Ricky Blue
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is a Montreal-based humorist, singer, and writer. He and partner George Bowser are the famous Bowser and Blue comedy act. Here's his bio from their Bowser and Blue website.

Ricky Blue was born in Liverpool, England, but raised in Maine, New Jersey, and Toronto. He has an MA in English from Concordia University. He has been involved in bands and media music in Montreal for over twenty years. In 1981 he won an international 'Clio' award for excellence in advertising.

He once appeared on television naked.

His life had no real meaning, however, until he began to play with Bowser and Blue. Rick plays guitar, mandolin, and harmonica, and sings in a rather pleasant baritone when George will let him.

His columns are archived here

Posted 09.01.03

RICKY BLUE

All 'knotted up' in Montreal

The book Knots, by the Scottish Psychiatrist R.D. Laing describes dysfunctional relationships with poem-like "knots" of miscommunication. It is striking how the form can also describe the relationship between the new mega-city government of Montreal and the citizens of the suburbs.

Knot No. 1:

We didn't want to merge.

You had to.

Why?

So Montreal can be more competitive.

Our suburbs are already competitive.

Then you will bring other parts of the city up.

But they will bring us down.

Montreal will be more competitive with you as part of it.

But studies of other forcibly merged cities have shown that this is not true.

What cities?

Toronto. Amalgamation has undermined its competitiveness.

So?

So we didn't want to merge.

You had to.

Why?

So Montreal can be more competitive.

Knot No. 2:

We want more services.

There are more services.

We are getting fewer services.

Yes, but people in Montreal are getting more services.

We are people in Montreal, and we are getting fewer services.

Montrealers are getting more services.

But we get fewer services!

But you are now Montrealers. So you are getting more services.

Knot No. 3:

We didn't want to merge into Montreal.

It is for your own good.

But we were good in our own little towns.

That's because you didn't know what good was.

Knot No. 4:

What would you like?

We would like an increase in services and a decrease in taxes.

We will give you an increase in taxes and a decrease in services. Is that close enough?

Knot No. 5:

What would you like?

We'd like lower taxes.

OK. We'll raise the taxes then.

No, lower the taxes!

Whatever you say. This is a democracy. Taxes will be raised by 12 per cent.

Knot No. 6:

You raised our taxes by 12 per cent!

No, we lowered taxes 18 per cent.

But we are paying 12 per cent more tax.

You don't understand. We would have raised the taxes even more if you hadn't said: "Lower the taxes". So we only raised them 12 per cent. We were actually going to raise them 30 per cent. So in effect, we have lowered them 18 per cent. We do listen to you!

Knot No. 7:

You have taken away our revenues.

As a gesture of goodwill, we will allow you to keep your parking fees and fines. We don't have any parking fees or fines.

But we will let you keep them.

The work of R.D. Laing centered on the politics of the family. Specifically the way parents turn their kids into schizophrenics by denying the validity of the child's own personal experience. Because of the special parent-child relationship we now have between the government and citizens here this model fits like a glove. And it is slowly driving us nuts. The way our government always knows best. And how we cannot be trusted to make our own choices.

Knot No. 8:

We know what is best for you.

But what about what we feel? Or want? Or know?

One day, little taxpayer, you will understand. Now give me your money and f-off!
 

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