DEC
2019
   LOG CABIN CHRONICLES    UPDATED
DAILY

Ricky Blue's Other Life
Ricky Blue
Ricky Blue
spacer
is a Montreal-based humorist, singer, and writer. He and partner George Bowser are the famous Bowser and Blue comedy act. Here's his bio from their Bowser and Blue website.

Ricky Blue was born in Liverpool, England, but raised in Maine, New Jersey, and Toronto. He has an MA in English from Concordia University. He has been involved in bands and media music in Montreal for over twenty years. In 1981 he won an international 'Clio' award for excellence in advertising.

He once appeared on television naked.

His life had no real meaning, however, until he began to play with Bowser and Blue. Rick plays guitar, mandolin, and harmonica, and sings in a rather pleasant baritone when George will let him.

His columns are archived here

Posted 12.13.05

RICKY BLUE

Quebec's secessionists still 'addicted' to referendums

Now that Andre "Blow" Claire is the Parti Québécois' new Candy Man, will we hear some hip, exciting new slogans? Like: "Vote for the PQ and feel the rush!" Remember all those PQ 1995 referendum posters with the slogan: "Anything is possible?" Now I understand.

Of course anything would seem possible when you're walking around with your cerebral cortex frozen and your heart beating like a hummingbird. And that must be why, even when the results came in and the democratic will of the people was to stay in Canada, not once but twice, they never thought of saying: "We accept this judgment of the people." They always say: "Until the next time." Because like any true addict they know that they will always need another fix.

Having a referendum makes the PQ feel like a new party. And the first thing the new party wants to do is to have another referendum.

Cocaine is a good metaphor for the whole PQ trip. It will make you nervous, hyper, and reckless. You will run up a huge debt you can never pay for and talk about how you will do things that everyone else knows you will never do.

Everybody sing:

    "Andre the Snowman,
    Is a jolly happy man
    Me and you and the PQ,
    Will go to - the Promised Land!"
Is Peruvian marching powder the PQ's secret weapon? It helped many South American dictators-to-be motivate their troops to overthrow their own "Federales." It gave them an edge. They never slept. Hup, ho! The march to sovereignty has begun!
    "The sponsorship scandal's frightful
    But for the PQ it's delightful
    One more referendum to go
    Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!"
And notice like any dealer the PQ always cut their drug with stuff: their "Sovereignty" was first cut with "Association" and then with "Partnership." But we know what this high is all about: Independence, that glorious illusion that will solve all our problems.

I know, Andre denies that he still uses it. "Pas de toute" is Andre Boisclair's new motto. Ha ha! You see "toot" is an expression for a snort of cocaine. And now that he no longer does it - "Pas" means "no" and "toute" is like "toot" - well, if I have to explain it!

Anyway, I would never stoop to making cheap drug jokes about a politician. He might be a good man. I mean he certainly is someone who has a nose for politics. And I am sure he will sniff out all the problems. And he will keep his party in lines, er, in line. He will tell his political opponents to take a powder. He will speed up the process and step on it. No, seriously, he can really cut it. His party will not be sneezed at. Am I going too fast here?

Living with an addict is not easy. You can never really trust them because they will sacrifice everything for their high. With the PQ it is always nationalism.

Article one in their party platform. No matter what else they say and do - that craving, that need, that uncontrollable obsession - is behind everything they do. And we, the rest of the Quebec "family," are expected to foot the bill as they ruin their lives and ours as well.

Special thanks to George Bowser for some of the jokes in this column (Not the funniest ones, of course).

HOME   COLUMNS   FEATURES   FICTION   OPINION   POETRY   PHOTOGRAPHY