Log Cabin Chronicles

Why Men Are That Way

We know stuff about tanks

A five-day trip requires only one suitcase

We can open all our own jars

We can go to the bathroom without a support group

We don't have to learn to spell a new last name

We can leave a motel bed unmade

We can kill our own food

We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

Wedding plans take care of themselves

If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend

Underwear is $10 for a three-pack

If you are 34 and single nobody notices

Everything on our faces stays the original color

Three pair of shoes are more than enough

We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming

Car mechanics tell us the truth

We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Same work -- more pay

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character

We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift

If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become life-long friends

Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

We are not expected to know the names of more than five colors

We almost never have a "strap problem" in public

We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes

The same hairstyle lasts for years -- maybe decades

We don't have to shave below the neck

A few belches are expected and tolerated

Our belly usually hides our big hips

One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons

We can do our nails with a pocketknife

We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes

Passed along by Ray Goyette.

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Copyright © 2000 John Mahoney/Log Cabin Chronicles/01.2000