Log Cabin Chronicles | DEC 2020
Columns
PREVIOUS COLUMNS ARE ARCHIVED
HERE
10
POST-PANDEMIC LESSONS
Posted 1.1.21
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Zakaria celebrates America's resilience, which he says gains strength
through chaos and crises. He also downplays the idea that despots like
China's Xi Jinping do better than democratic leaders pointing out
covid-19's leap around the world was due to China's suppression of
lifesaving data. Also, that authoritarian regimes including Khamenei's
Iran, Erdogan's Turkey, and Bolsonaro's Brazil, ruled did badly.
Our 30th
Anniversary
Posted 12.27.20
ROSS MURRAY
I'm writing this on the day of our 30th
wedding anniversary. Deb and I were married on December 15, 1990 in
Sherbrooke. That wasn't the original plan.
WHY
ENVIRONMENTAL REGS ARE NEEDED
Posted 12.17.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
As many as 12,000 children were exposed to drinking water with high
levels of lead, which cause long-term health problems. The water supply
change also caused an outbreak of Legionnaires' disease that killed 12
people.
WHERE'S MY
MAGAZINE?
Posted 11.12.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Then, I thought damn, I let my subscription lapse. When one
gets older, one does that sort of stuff. I called the Economist
subscription department and checked. Carol told me that my subscription
was good through February 2021; and, besides, I was on automatic
renewal.
LOOKING
SERIOUSLY AT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE
Posted 10.12.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Over the next few days, as he fought to live, he found
reflected on the fragility of health, not recognized in America as a
human right but without which all rights and freedoms have no meaning.
THE ELECTORAL
COLLEGE: FIXING IS NEEDED BUT HOW TO DO IT?
Posted
10.08.20
FRANK BERNHEISEL
When we look back at the last five elections, we see
that three were won by a person who had fewer votes than the opponent.
That is because of the Electoral College, which many are discussing.
What is the Electoral College?
PLASTIC
Posted 9.22.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Plastic, it's complicated.
RIGGED
Posted 9.13.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
It exposes decades of secret operations -- by the KGB, the CIA,
and Vladimir Putin's Russia -- to shape electoral outcomes.
Rigged melds deep historical research with groundbreaking
interviews with more than 130 key players, from leading officials in
both the Trump and Obama administrations, to CIA and NSA directors, to a
former KGB general.
CHINA, INDIA
FACE-OFF IN LADAKHON
Posted 7.12.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We all seem to be so focused on Covid-19 that nothing else in
the world matters. Reality is that many other things in the world do
matter, and not just to the remote part of the world where they are
happening.
TRUMP AND HIS
OLD GLORY
Posted 6.25.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
So, while it may not be illegal, using our flag for personal
gain and to denigrate others, is in really bad taste.
WHEN WE REACHED
RONDA
Posted 6.7.20
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Ronda was first settled by the
early Celts in the sixth century BCE. Followed by the usual parade of
invaders in Spain: Phoenician settlers, then the Romans in the Second
Punic War receiving the title of City at the time of Julius Caesar, the
fifth century CE, brought the Suebi (a Germanic peoples originally from
the Elbe river region in Germany), conquered a century later by the
Eastern Roman Empire, later Ronda was part of the Visigoth realm until
713, when it fell to the Berbers, who named it Hisn Ar-Rundah ('Castle
of Rundah'). The Islamic domination of Ronda ended in 1485, when it was
conquered by the Marquis of Cadiz after a brief siege during the
Reconquista.
UNIVERSAL BASIC INCOME:
TIME FOR A SERIOUS LOOK
Posted 5.30.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Not only is UBI not a new idea, it has been successfully in
operation since 1976 in Alaska.
ON TYRANNY: I FEAR
FOR MY COUNTRY
Posted 5.13.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
In December 1776, Thomas Paine wrote: "THESE are the times
that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will,
in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that
stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.
Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered..."
ON THE
SEPARATION OF POWERS IN THE U.S. CONSTITUTION
Posted
4.90.20
FRANK BERNHEISEL
James Madison acknowledged that the topic of
separation of powers was one of the principal objections by the more
respectable adversaries to the Constitution and that no political
truth is certainly of greater intrinsic value. He pointed out that
The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and
judiciary, in the same hands, whether of one, a few, or many, and
whether hereditary, self-appointed, or elective, may justly be
pronounced the very definition of tyranny.
AND ON TO GRANADA
(part 2)
Posted 4.1.20
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The design includes six
palaces, five of which were grouped in the northeast quadrant forming a
royal quarter, two circuit towers, and numerous bathhouses. The
decoration within the palaces comes from the last great period of
Andalusian art in Granada.
Virus: Week 2 vs Week
22
Posted 3.31.20
ROSS MURRAY
Week 2: Anxiously refreshing social media to hear
the latest updates on the Coronavirus pandemic.
Week 22: Anxiously
refreshing social media to hear the latest stupid thing Madonna
said.
COVID-19
Posted 3.21.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The MITRE medical team that projected the trajectory and
consequences of the Ebola outbreak, has published a white paper, which
analyses existing COVID-19 data. It also has a set of recommendations
for individuals and the country. Given all the noise in the newspapers,
on television and on social media, I found this summary very
helpful.
Lock Down
Message
Posted 3.19.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We are in lock-down. Here in Fairfax County, Virginia, the
schools, libraries, day care centers, and parks are closed; and Virginia
banned all gatherings of 100 people or more. In some cities and states,
lock-down is more severe than here.
AND ON TO
GRANADA
Posted 3.17.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We cruised all night, had breakfast at 6:30 AM, and by 8 AM the
Harmony V was tied up at the quay in Almeria harbor. We immediately
boarded our bus, which would take us to Granada for the day. We traveled
west along the southern coast of Spain to circumvent the Sierra Nevada
mountains, that rise to 11,000 feet above the sea.
The Biden
Team?
Posted 3.15.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The last couple of weeks of the Democratic primaries has Joe
Biden well in the lead; it appears to be "Bye Bye Bernie," So
as an anti-Trump voter, I thought it would be a good idea to get beyond
the campaign rhetoric to see if I could find some substance in Joe
Biden's thinking.
SAILIING TO
CARTEGENA
Posted 3.8.20
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Harmony V cruised through
the night, entering this strategic defensive harbor on the southeast
corner of Spain, just after breakfast. In the outer harbor, we passed a
major petroleum port and storage area. As we entered the inner harbor,
its importance as a naval seaport became clear -- we could see the
Spanish Navy ships and the large naval shipyard. As far back as the 16th
century this was one of the most important naval ports in Spain because
of its strategic location.
Munich Security
Conference 2020
Posted 2.24.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
It is generally attended by about 350 senior figures from more
than 70 countries around the world to engage in discussion on current
and future security challenges. Mike Pompeo, Mark Esper, and Nancy
Pelosi attended and spoke.
How I killed
disco
Posted 2.21.20
ROSS MURRAY
I am 13 years old. My brain is not fully
formed. It's 80 percent lizard brain. I want to dance and have fun and
maybe start growing hair, you know, there. Despite my scrawniness (or
maybe because of it) I think I can dance, and my brain is not about to
tell me otherwise. Unaware of all the cultural-sexual baggage it
carries, disco is the ideal conveyance for my tiny tweeny body on the
dance floor.
Shaken, not
stirred
Posted 2.18.20
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
A recent Friday was martini night for Paul, John, and I, held
at JohnÕs house. Paul was the bartender and he used the olives cured in
vodka that I had brought. (Technical note: Martinis are made with gin,
shaken not stirred and served up.) Once settled with glass in
hand, we had a wide-ranging conversation on the topics of the
day.
On
Treason
Posted 2.6.20
FRANK BERNHEISEL
When you have an asset
someone wants and you demand an equivalent service because an equivalent
asset is not available, it is a bribe.
It's a Wonderful Soap: Looks
delicious
Posted 12.6.19
ROSS MURRAY
Donning my traditional Christmas
shopping outfit (elf shoes with bells; tights; that's it), I set out on
the weekend to look for gifts at some of the holiday markets that pop up
this time of year. I entered the first church basement and began to
circulate, making sure to not make eye contact with the vendors who
stared like rabid, bloodthirsty hounds -- but in a good way.
HOMAGE TO
CATALONIA: DAY FOUR
Posted 12.2.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The Plaça shows the two things that are ubiquitous in
Barcelona: motor scooters and construction cranes.The Plaça is
Barcelona's most central area and a favorite meeting place for locals
and visitors and connects the Eixample and the old town. There are six
sculptural groups around the plaza: representing the four Catalan
capital cities, wisdom and labor. In the center of the picture is the
monument by Josep Maria Subirachs for Francesc MaciàÕ, president
of the Catalan Government during the Second Spanish Republic
(1932-1933).
On American Income
Inequality
Posted 11.27.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Recently the Census Bureau reported that income inequality in
the U.S. is at its highest point since it started collecting data more
than 50 years ago, according to Census Bureau numbers. The census
reported income overall increased by 0.8 percent from 2017 to 2018 to a
median household income of almost $62,000. (Note: In 2018 the median
individual income was $39,048 or $19.14 per hour for a 40 hour week,
which indicates more than one individual working in each family.) Even
though the income increased, it was not distributed evenly.
HOMAGE TO
CATALONIA: DAY TWO
Posted 11.22.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Thursday was the last full day of our stay in Barcelona, and we
were on our own until dinner. Kathy, Mary and I decided to walk in a
different neighborhood and visit the Casa Batlló Gaudi. Dave had
a painful leg due to a banged shin and chose to give it a rest.
Barr.
None.
Posted 11.21.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Yesterday when I was driving around running errands, I listened
to CSPAN radio. They were broadcasting a talk that Attorney General
William Barr was giving to the Federalist Society. The same Federalist
Society that has been vetting judges for President Trump to make sure
that only conservatives get to be federal judges.
Yoga:
Self-Taught
Posted 11.17.19
ROSS MURRAY
I can do this, except I call
it "tripping." I begin by finding a quiet place. There is snow
on the ground, so that means the neighbours have decided the street is a
snowmobile drag strip; there is no quiet place. I reach deep within
myself to find a centre of calm and deep within the drawer to find a
pair of earplugs.
HOMAGE TO
CATALONIA: DAY TWO
Posted 11.12.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We walked back to the hotel to meet Mary and Dave and go to
dinner at a small tapas place they had picked out. We sat at a tall
table that made a triangle with the tables along the walls. In the
corner was a couple so enamored with each other that I thought they
might make love right there. The show was not enough to distract me
from the excellent tapas and wine.
HOMAGE TO
CATALONIA: DAY ONE
Posted 11.6.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
It was a Sunday afternoon here in Virginia when Bernie
picked us up and deposited us at Dulles Airport a good two hours before
our 5:40 p.m. flight to Barcelona, where we would meet brother Dave and
his wife Mary. We checked in, all was good, and people started to
board. Then, we heard the announcement of an engine problem; it would be
fixed in 45 minutes. At 10 p.m. we were back home -- the flight was
cancelled. Next day, we were placed on the 5:40 p.m. flight. And
so, finally, off to Catalonia...
How to write a humour
column
Posted 10.27.19
ROSS MURRAY
The first ingredient of a
humour column is the idea. Ideas can come from anywhere, although most
often from Bangladesh where idea labour is cheap. Many people frown on
sweat-shop ideas, but remember that if it weren't for these idea jobs,
those people would be forced to work in fields with no ideas at all,
like the US film industry.
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho,
it's off to work we go...
Posted 9.26.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Since 2008 the U.S. coal production has generally moved down as
can be seen in the Energy Information Agency (EIA) chart below. The
reason for both the increase in production and the decrease in
employment has been increasing productivity due to technology in the
industry.
So your roommate is feasting
on your soul!
Posted 9.13.19
ROSS MURRAY
Welcome, students, to another
exciting year in residence! Living in rez is just one of the many
amazing aspects of university life, and, working together in a
supportive, positive, inclusive atmosphere, we can make it a
super-memorable experience for all!
Sharks are the least of
your worries, Mom
Posted 11.1.19
ROSS
MURRAY
Before Deb and I left (alone!) for our vacation in New
Brunswick, my mother sent an e-mail warning that sharks now frequent the
Bay of Fundy, our destination, including great white sharks, even in
shallow water. Also, there are seahorses now, which, by the way,
awwwwwww!
IS THE AMERICAN DREAM
DYING?
Posted 8.29.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
All ABBA All The
Time
Posted 8.24.19
ROSS MURRAY
The first album I ever bought was by
Valdy, a barely remembered Canadian folk artist, and it wasn't even the
album with that one hit. I have no idea what prompted me to buy it. I
mean, Side 1 was live. Live! Live folk music!
CHICKEN KILLING AND
SUCH
Posted 8.12.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
President Trump recently
ordered ICE to raid seven Mississippi plants owned by four companies --
Peco Foods, Koch Foods, PH Food and Pearl River Foods. The ICE raids
arrested 680 gainfully employed workers who were undocumented migrants
to this country.
A letter from your
university development office
Posted 7.22.19
ROSS
MURRAY
Dear alumnus/alumna/aluminum: Here at Ross Murray
University, as we lounge in our yak-skin recliners vaping with impunity,
surrounded by floodlit portraits of our beloved founder in various
states of undress, we think of you, our former student, as you make your
way in the world. We think about your time here at good ol RMU. We
wonder if that rash ever went away. We ask ourselves: got any
money?
ON U.S. FEDERAL LAND
MANAGEMENT REORGANIZATION
Posted 7.19.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
I have read several articles about the Administration proposing
to reorganize the Interior Department, including the one in yesterday's
Washington Post, on moving the management of the Bureau of Land
Management (BLM) out of Washington to western states. As a dedicated
user of our public lands, National Parks, Wildlife Refuges, National
Monuments and including undesignated lands under BLM for hiking,
camping, education, and just enjoyment, I object. I object for several
reasons, including:
Posted
6.30.19
ROSS MURRAY
Your Middle-Age Guide to Grunting
Grunting: Not
Just for Tennis Players AnymoreWelcome to middle age, a beautiful
time of life when your body is going through many changes, all of them
accompanied by sounds you had no idea you were capable of.
On China
Trade
Posted 6.14.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Ms. Barshefsky discusses China's entry into the World Trade
Organization (WTO) and how the U.S. failed to utilize the WTO to its
benefit, trying instead to work with China on a bilateral basis. She
also discusses the impacts of the U.S. mismanagement of the Great
Recession of 2008 on the relations with China and their attitude toward
the U.S.
On
Citizenship
Posted 6.5.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
During his campaign in 2016,
Donald Trump promised to make a huge, HUGE investment in
infrastructure and that the private sector would invest through
public-private partnerships. Well nothing has been done in the last two
years on infrastructure.
On CitizenshipPosted 4.26.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Most Americans were born in the United States, and are citizens
automatically, as is specified in the 14th Amendment to the
Constitution, which states: All persons born or naturalized in the
United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of
the United States and of the State wherein they reside. Others, who
were born elsewhere, can become citizens through naturalization. Being
born here is easier.
Disaster scenarios
ranked by my chances of survival
Posted 4.21.19
ROSS
MURRAY
Zombie Apocalypse: When the flesh-eating hoard inevitably
swarms my home (hopefully, at first, making quick work of the neighbours
who are always outside yelling and drinking and therefore easy prey), I
stash myself in a virtually unfindable location, my small frame allowing
me to squeeze into tight spaces and my years of playing hide-and-seek
with the children informing me as to where those tight spaces
are.
Show some
respect
Posted 4.12.19
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QC | Can't we
finally acknowledge that climate change is moving faster towards us than
expected -- and that there are measures we can take to combat (and
adjust to) it?
We need to
vote
Posted 4.11.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We the People have elections
coming up in 2020 and some states, like Virginia have elections this
year, so let's get active. Let's support organizations that are working
for election changes, which accomplish the above changes; let's support
candidates that articulate the equal vote goals; let's talk to friends
and neighbors; and let's VOTE.
The Haskell and The
Beatles: In Search of a Meeting That
NeverÊHappened
Posted 4.3.19
ROSS MURRAY
It's strange to get excited
about something that didn't happen, but for more than 40 years the
Stanstead/Derby Line border communities have transformed an event that
almost occurred into the stuff of myth: a planned meeting at the Haskell
Free Library and Opera House between the former members of The Beatles
that ultimately didn't take place.
On
Immigration
Posted 3.27.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We hear a lot of political talk about illegal immigration and
there is a lot of misinformation on the subject, everywhere. So first I
would like to summarize the Immigration Reform and Control Act, enacted
November 6, 1986, and signed into law by Ronald Reagan on November 6,
1986, which reformed U.S. immigration law.
My March Madness take
(since nobody asked)
Posted 3.23.19
ROSS
MURRAY
March Madness basketball is upon us, and as in recent years, I
will not be tuning in to the national college tournament because I have
no cable, nor will I be following online because I try to restrict my
screen time to hating myself for scrolling through Twitter.
Guaranteed
Annual Income
Posted 3.19.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
When looking to our Founding Fathers for guidance today, we
should include Thomas Paine. Paine was American political activist,
philosopher, political theorist, and revolutionary. His ideas reflected
Enlightenment ideals of transnational human rights, particularly those
of John Locke.
Hello, hot sauce, my old
friend
Posted 3.1.19
ROSS MURRAY
It's not like we haven't
cleaned the fridge in 20 years. We changed refrigerators at some point
in there, so that mean's it's been sorted through at least once. No, I'm
quite certain that our refrigerator has undergone frequent if
unscheduled cleanings and/or purges.
All shook up about
childhood movie trauma
Posted 2.21.19
ROSS
MURRAY
Who
in their right mind thought it was a good idea to take me to see
Earthquake when I was 9 years old? And when did I start sounding like a
grandmother who uses phrases like "who in their right
mind"?
US Social
Security Reform
Posted 2.18.19
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
I worked for a salary for the 55 years of my career. Every
month my employer deducted payroll taxes from my paycheck. (The current
numbers are: 6.2 percent for Social Security and 1.45 percent for
Medicare.) My employers paid taxes equal to the amounts withheld from my
earnings. If I made more than the maximum taxable ($127,200 currently),
there was no Social Security tax on the extra income. However, there is
no maximum to the Medicare tax.
Finding Inner Peace By Not
Giving A Flying Fig About Professional Sports
Posted
2.11.19
ROSS MURRAY
Hello, brother. I couldn't help but overhear you on
this beautiful morning yelling at that squirrel about NFL officiating.
If you would stop kicking gravel at the pigeons for a moment, I feel I
can help you. Come, sit with me on this bench. Let me move my half-eaten
Reuben sandwich. Mind the dill...
Why I Get Up At 4 AM Every
Day
Posted 2.4.19
DR. SEAN P. MAHONEY
HINESBURG, VT | I
am asked almost daily, "What time do you get up in the
morning?" When I answer 4 a.m,, most people tell me they could
never do that. I didn't always get up that early either. I used to be a
6 a.m. guy and would sleep in on the weekends.
Listen to your heart and
other body parts
Posted 1.18.19
ROSS MURRAY
When I was initially
recovering from prostate surgery, the common advice I got from people
was, "Listen to your body." This was not, of course, in a
literal sense, although that could be fun too. ("Hey, kids, come
here and listen to my body!") Instead, it was about allowing my
body to dictate what I should be doing. So I took that advice, and in
those first days following surgery, what I mostly heard my body saying
was, "I don't like this."
ABOUT THOSE
MIGRANTS
Posted 1.5.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Illegal immigration into the
United States ha,s been steadily declining since 2007 as shown in the
chart from the Pew Research Center. In 2015 there were about 43.3
million foreign-born people living in the U.S. of whom about half are
naturalized U.S. citizens. Only about one quarter of the foreign-born,
11.1 million are unauthorized migrants according to Pew Research Center,
and 75 percent are here legally.
How to take care of
yourself
Posted 12.29.18
ROSS MURRAY
I recently came to a
conclusion: Donald Trump gave me cancer.
All I Want for Christmas is
No Tube
Posted 12.14.18
ROSS MURRAY
I decided to phone the North
Pole myself and speak to Santa Claus, who had removed my sugarplum, but
all I reached was his personal elf. "There must be a mistake.
That's like three and a half weeks wearing a garland," I said.
"Am I on some kind of Naughty List?" The elf explained to
me that, no, it was simply that Santa Claus was on vacation.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Don't Feel Powerless in the
Face of Racism
Posted 12.5.18
ABBY MURRAY, GRADE
12
Stanstead College ~ Stanstead, Quebec
I work at the Haskell Free Library. It
is built right on the Canada-US border, so there are lots of cameras and
border agents, both Canadian and American. One day, while I was working,
two Mexican families came to visit each other, one from Canada, the
other from the US. Since they couldn't cross the border, they came to
the library just to talk for a couple of hours.
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
One More Night, Gimme Just
One More Night
Posted 12.1.18
ROSS MURRAY
The last thing I want is to be
a bore. (Not true; the last thing I want is another biopsy, but I think
I made that pretty clear already.) However, I did leave my post last
week on a bit of a cliffhanger, so I thought I would give an update on
my medical progress before returning to regular programming.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
FRANCE ~
PARIS: DAY FIVE
Posted 11.25.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We woke up in our nice bed and breakfast in Concale to a
pleasant, sunny day; and we were in Brittany -- Bretagne to the French
and Breizh to the Bretons. Brittany is the western most region of France
with a population of over 3 million. It forms a triangle poking out into
the Atlantic; referred to as Finisterre or End of the Earth.
I have
cancer
Posted 11.23.18
ROSS MURRAY
It's rare you can put your
finger on the precise moment your life changed. In my case, it involved
an actual finger.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
What about
Autumn?
Posted 11.21.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Autumn 2018 is/was the time for the U.S. elections and the
airwaves and print were filled with propaganda, lies, and some
information. If you got caught up in this Party-generated game, you
could have believed that this game defined Autumn. But, you did not have
to get caught up in the game: handicapping winners and losers,
collecting stats, predicting outcomes based on polls, etc., and buying
into a party line.
FRANCE ~
PARIS: DAY FOUR
Posted 11.11.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The TGV was smooth and comfortable and at times reached 200
MPH; there was a speed display at the front of the car. The full trip of
about 220 miles took us an hour and a half. Things were going great
until the train station in Rennes, which was under serious
reconstruction. This caused difficulty finding the Hertz office and
subsequently finding the car. This took at least 45 minutes, and then we
were off.
Does One Vote
Matter?
Posted 11.7.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
On January 4, 2018, the race was decided by a coin toss
and...
FRANCE ~
PARIS: DAY THREE
Posted 10.31.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
As I get older, I find that it is harder to remember things --
names are the worst. In doing my trip write-ups, I rely on photographs
to remind me of where and when. On Day 2, I took the photo below at
Notre-Dame; but it was on Jon's camera, so I lost the memory until a
couple of days ago.
FRANCE ~
PARIS: DAY TWO
Posted 10.21.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We started the day with a nice breakfast buffet at Hotel du
Parc. Then we set off on a beautiful sunny day to find the Metro station
on Boulevard Raspail, and then to figure how use the Metro to get around
in Paris. It was easy; the fare card machines were simple, and the maps
and signs were clear.
Free Press
Threatened
Posted 10.14.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The current news is full of stories about the possible murder
of Jamal Khashoggi, a prominent journalist who was seen entering -- but
not exiting -- the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul last week. But
Khashoggi is not alone.
FRANCE ~ PARIS:
DAY ONE
Posted 10.11.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
It was early Sunday morning when Julie, Jonathan, Kathy and I
disembarked at Aéroport de Paris-Charles-de-Gaulle and made our
way to find a taxi. The airport seems to be continually under
construction, based on our recent trips. As we neared the exit,
wondering what to do, we spotted a Viking Tours booth. Given that we
were going to take a Viking cruise later in this trip, I figured that
they could help us. They did; the lead staff walked us to the taxi area
and found a taxi large enough for the four of us plus four large
suitcases. We loaded and were off to Paris.
Oh, let's be
regionable!
Posted 9.30.18
ROSS MURRAY
When I first moved to Quebec's
Eastern Townships, I was thrilled to learn that there was a CBC Radio
network dedicated to serving the English community outside Montreal. It
wasn't long after this that I learned that CBC referred to all these
non-Montreal places as "the regions."
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
How did this
happen
Posted 9.24.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
As I've previously mentioned, I went to high school in
Wiesbaden, Germany, arriving there in June 1948. The devastation was
horrendous; piles of rubble where large apartments had been, smelled of
the dead in the summer heat, and there were millions of Displaced
Persons (DPs) in camps. This experience generated the question that I
have studied all my life: How did these really smart, cultured and
accomplished people go off the deep end and create this mess?
Thanks
Canada
Posted 09.8.189
Robert Meadows (Circuit Court Judge,
Florida) wrote: "Have you ever stopped to consider how lucky we
Americans are to have the neighbors we have? Look around the globe at
who some folks have been stuck sharing a border with over the past half
century..."
Need to Prevent
Kavanaugh potential law damage
Posted 8.24.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
I am of the opinion the Bret Kavanaugh will be even less
constrained by 'settled law' than Justice Scalia. My opinion was
reinforced by the piece by Arthur Alschuler in this morning's Washington
Post, about one ruling that Bret Kavanaugh made as a justice on the US
Court of Appeals, which over turned 'settled law'.
Opposing
Kavanaugh's appointment
Posted 8.15.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Packing the courts with people with known and narrow political
biases is not in the interest of the United States, a country with a
diverse population. The nomination of Judge Kavanaugh is an example of
this packing and his vetting by the Federalist Society is an example of
how the packing process works.
Political
Drumbeats
Posted 7.25.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The July 18 Gallop poll, indicates that 22 percent of Americans
say immigration is the country's most important problem. Immigration
replaced "Government", which had been the top problem in polls
since January 2017.
1868
Posted
7.23.18
ROSS MURRAY
1968 (MCMLXVIII) was a leap year starting on Monday
of the Gregorian calendar. It was kind of a big year for Debbie
Bishop.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Letter from my family
doctor
Posted 6.27.18
ROSS MURRAY
"Unfortunately, due to
family and personal reasons, I must close my clinic at the end of August
2018. I will be moving my medical practice to Abitibi, specifically the
emergency room in the hospital at Rouyn-Noranda. I will remain
responsible for your medical dossier in the coming
years."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
O Canada, O
Deficit
Posted 6.15.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Saturday, June 9 President Trump declared: "If they
retaliate, they're making a mistake."
Books, in a selfie
way
Posted 5.4.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Our reading group has a couple
of classics on our upcoming list to read: Utopia by Thomas More
and Demosthenes, which is one of Plutarch's biographical
sketches. Neither of these is in our library.
Song for Municipal
Workers
Posted 5.31.18
ROSS MURRAY
There are potholes aplenty
just outside my house...
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Make
American Schools Great Again
Posted 4.28.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
My take on the learning of primary and secondary students is
that we have been shorting the public school budgets for years.
Thoughts on
Enlightenment
Posted 4.20.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Many of the ideas and accomplishments attributed to the
Enlightenment were developed prior to the period we call the
Enlightenment. Contributions were made during the Renaissance and within
organizations throughout Europe, including the church. Human beings have
worked on governance throughout history, and what we have is a
continuum. As far as we know, because we rely on the written word, it
started with the Greeks: Pythagoras, Plato, etc.
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 15 ~ VISITING SLANO AND
MOSTAR
Posted 4.12.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
La Perla's course from Korcula took her southeast along the
Peljesac peninsula. The peninsula is over 40 miles long and the isthmus
that joins it to the mainland is five miles wide. It is part of
Dubrovnik-Neretva County, the southernmost part of Croatia. The county
is broken in two by a 12-mile stretch of Bosnia-Herzegovina, which
provides their only access to the sea.
How to fight inertia,
sweatpants, and go out dancing
Posted 4.10.18
ROSS
MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | My getting ready to go out face. Tweety is
my wingman. 1. Are you already in sweatpants? Did you take your bra
off? It's too late. You will not go dancing. Inertia has won. Start
again.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
The U.S. 2020
Census ~ Action is Needed
Posted 4.7.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The 2020 Census is fast approaching and is currently being
given a test run in Rhode Island. At this late date, the Trump
Administration and Congress have decided to play games with the
decennial count of people in the U.S. required by the
Constitution.
Scenarios in which I, Ross
Murray, might conceivably need a gun
Posted 3.31.18
ROSS
MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | 7. I need to provide food for my family,
and all the grocery stores have been shut down due to an outbreak of
e-Cola, the "New Live-Bacteria Beverage That's A Real
Fresh-Maker!" but actually turned out to be a real death-maker, and
so with no provision for provisions, I have to take to the woods (but
not before letting my food-deprived eyes linger hungrily over the cats,
until I recall what I've previously seen those cats
licking)...
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
VISITING
WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 14 ~ A DAY IN TINY
KORCULA
Posted 3.26.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
The Bura wind was still blowing when La Perla got under way at
about 6 AM. The Bura makes for sunny, cool days on the Adriatic Sea. Our
destination was the town of Korcula, which shares its name with the
island. We arrive in the port of Korcula about 10 AM to find one of the
smallest villages we had visited. We had an our tour of the town, which
only took maybe 15 minutes to walk around. However, the pace in Korcula
was slower than any other towns we visited, so maybe 25 minutes.
The Wearing of the Ochre, or
Happy St. Pablo's Day!
Posted 3.24.18
ROSS
MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | I recently received the results of my
ancestry DNA testing, and in addition to 70 percent of my genetic roots
originating in Great Britain, and Scotland, I was very excited to learn
that 12 percent of my genetic makeup springs from the Iberian Peninsula!
I was even more excited after I looked at a map and found out exactly
where the Iberian Peninsula is!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
All cluttered up and no place
to go
Posted 3.13.18
ROSS MURRAY
When our son came home for his
break, he began to chuckle as he looked around the kitchen, as if it
were all strange to him. And that was his point: everything was strange.
"You ever look at the things in this house and wonder why
they're there?"
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 13 ~ A DAY AROUND
HVAR
Posted 3.11.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
This morning we sailed from Split to the island of Hvar and the
town of the same name -- a journey of about 40 miles. It is a very small
town with about 3,500 inhabitants -- the island has about 4,700. The
town of Hvar has a lovely, sheltered harbor, which was welcome because
part of the "ride" over was pretty rough. A couple people
complained of being seasick. Not surprising since the Bura wind was
pretty strong until we got on the lee side of the island.
Prom
Duress
Posted 3.8.18
ROSS MURRAY
I am currently on my third
daughter in search of a prom dress. It's February. The prom is in June.
I point this out, but Abby looks at me like I know nothing. It's the
usual look she gives me these days, but in this case she backs it up
with fact: "This is the time you get your dress, Dad." I can't
argue with that.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Withdraw sponsorship
of pro-bank coddling bill
Posted 03.7.18
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
It is clear that the practices of banks and financial
institutions were responsible for causing the Great Recession and
despite the obvious malfeasance of the bankers in this, no one went to
jail. Now, Senator Kaine, you propose to take away bank oversight. You
claim that the small banks in Virginia need help but that does not
appear to be true.
YOUR
ANCESTRY
Posted 3.3.17
DAVE LEPITRE
Dave's latest Your
Ancestry column is posted regularly on the LCC. More people looking
for ancestors...today: Border Marriage Laws in the past.
THE ICE WAS TWO FEET
THICK, THE WATER COLD, BUT A LOT OF FUN WAS HAD BY ALL
GORDON
ALEXANDER
NEWPORT, VERMONT | During Winter's last gasp at the end of
February, some 75 avid winter swimmers -- all members of the
Memphremagog Winter Swimming Society -- hung out, wetly, in a two-lane
25-meter pool chainsawed out of the ice just offshore from the Eastside
Restaurant hereon Lake Memphremagog.
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 12 ~ ON TO SPLIT
Posted
2.27.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
The Greeks established Solona,
about two miles from Split, as a colony in the 2nd Century BCE. Salona
became the capital of the Roman province of Dalmatia because it sided
with Julius Caesar in the civil war against Pompius and Crassus in 54
BCE. Salona was largely destroyed in the invasions of the Slavs in the
seventh century CE, and the refugees from Salona settled inside
Diocletian's Palace in what is now Split.
Is reading
overrated?
Posted 2.23.18
ROSS MURRAY
Chances are if you're reading
this that's all you're doing. You might be eating breakfast or possibly
doing a chore. Maybe you're folding laundry and glancing back and forth
at these words. If so, you're not giving it your full attention, so you
might miss the part where I mention the lima beans, and later when I
refer again to the lima beans, you'll have no idea what I'm talking
about.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 11 ~ LEAVING
OPATIJA
Posted 2.17.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
On part of the journey over the mountains, we passed near the
birthplace of Nikola Tesla. His name had come up several times already
during the trip because Croatia claims him. It took a look at Wikipedia
to understand the claims about Tesla's nationality. It turns out he had
Serbian parents. His father and both of his grandfathers were Serbian
priests.
Ludis
Verus*
Posted 2.16.18
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS |
It makes me gag when columnists and TV sports show pinheads ignore the
world's greatest sporting event. Nationally known sports guys Tony
Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon only give cursory coverage to the Olympics
all the while bloviating about the possibility of their favorite
baseball teams getting a high draft choice. Even Gaye Desveaux, local
gasbag and columnist for the Possum Tussle Monitor, cannot bring himself
to mention the Olympics.
Death
Goals
Posted 2.10.18
ROSS MURRAY
"What do you want to
do," I asked Deb, "when you die?"
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
VISITING
WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 10 ~ DOING THE ISTRIAN
PENINSULA
Posted 2.8.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
Another lovely autumn day with sun and cool temperatures. We
were picked up by the coach for a tour of the Istrain Peninsula, which
is the largest peninsula in the Adriadic, and is triangular. The towns
at the angles are: Savudrija, Opatija and Medulan, which is just south
of Pula. This area is heavily influence by Italy, of which it was a part
between the two World Wars. The highway signs have the town/city names
in Croatian and Italian.
That I Can Tell
You
Posted 2.4.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | Joseph
Goebbels was Hitler's Minister of Propaganda during the WW2 years. If he
had not committed suicide the day after Adolf he might have obtained a
position at FOX news. Sean Hannity, whose head seems to be morphing into
one of those squarish chipped beef cans, could be the reincarnation of
Goebbels. Case in point, the Nunes memo.
Talking with sons about being
better men
Posted 2.2.18
ROSS MURRAY
Boys, you probably feel bad
these days about being male, and you should. We've been terrible. Not
you, specifically, but the rest of us. My generation definitely. But it
wasn't our fault. It was... the patriarchy. And the funny thing is, back
then, we didn't even know the patriarchy existed, but it did, boy oh
boy! And was it fun.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 9 ~ IN OPATIJA
Posted
1.31.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
Opatija, a small city of
12,000, is surrounded by beautiful woods of bay laurel. The city is
located on a rocky and picturesque sea-coast and home to many resorts.
In Roman times, the area was home to several patrician villas connected
to the nearby town of Castrum Laureana, the modern Lovran.
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 8 ~ FROM ZAGREB TO
OPATIJA
Posted 1.27.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
The rain had stopped and we had a sunny, cool, and very windy
day. The last stop before leaving Zagreb was, Mirogoj, ZagrebÕs central
cemetery. It is known as one of the most beautiful cemeteries in Europe
and was built by the famous linguist and leading person of the Croatian
national reformation, or the Illyrian Movement, Ljudevit Gaj.
Secretary Zinke's
first year in office
Posted
1.25.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
After improperly billing the government for personal
travel expenses, Zinke received a Fitness Report in 1999 that blocked
him from being promoted to a commanding officer position, or to the rank
of captain.
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 7 ~ OUTSKIRTS OF
ZAGREB
Posted 1.22.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
I learned I didn't even know Marshall Tito's full name - -
Josip Broz Tito. Today, he is loved by many, ignored by many, and
unknown, apparently, to some of the younger people. The village of
Kumrovec is now a museum - - the whole small village - - and it is being
restored as it was in 1892 at Tito's birth.
Just do your
job
Posted 1.21.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In the past, Speaker Ryan, you
have said: "We will not duck the tough issues, we will lead ... we
will not spend four years blaming others, we will take
responsibility."
The Me
Species
Posted 1.19.18
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | Making
one nation great is clan-thought. Nations, tribes, even families,
religions, languages : each means one nation really can be separate. Yet
it's obvious the world is a network, and it's hard to imagine that
changing.
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 6 ~ AND IN DOWNTOWN
ZAGREB
Posted 1.16.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
We woke up to grey skies, cool temperatures, and wind in
Zagreb. Zagreb is the capital and the largest city of Croatia, with
800,000 people. It has a history dating back Roman times; the Roman town
of Andautonia was just southeast of Zagreb on the Sava River. We toured
Zagreb by bus for about 20 minutes and then met our local tour
guide.
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 5 ~ ON TO ZAGREB
Posted
1.14.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
With five rivers in the town,
there are lots of bridges.ÊOne bridge we did cross was the Zmajski Most
or 'dragon' bridge, which has two dragons at each end of the bridge. The
Ljubljana Dragon is symbol of the city and is depicted on the city coat
of arms as well as the Dragon Bridge.
The spit is in the
mail
Posted 1.13.18
ROSS MURRAY
For Christmas, our eldest daughter
ordered me an ancestry DNA kit. Through analysis of my genetic source
code, I will soon know exactly where I come from and whom to blame.
That's really what we look for when we begin researching our ancestry:
culpability. Up to now, I've only been able to attribute my shortcomings
to my parents, but soon I'll have an entire Old World to pin them
on.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 4 ~ ON TO ZAGREB
Posted
1.10.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
Our first stop, on our tour of
the city, was Republic Square, which is the largest square in Ljubljana
and where on 26 June 1991, the independence of Slovenia was declared.Ê
It is the location of the Academia Philharmonicorum from whose open
windows we could hear the students practicing their scales.
It takes a village to start a
car
Posted 1.6.18
ROSS MURRAY
When it came to our car battery, I knew
we were playing with fire. Or rather lack of fire. It had come to the
point where simply leaving the key in the ignition would drain it. But
we had a solution: don't leave the key in the ignition.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 3 ~ VISIT TO LARGEST NORDIC SKI
CENTRE
Posted 11.3.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY
CAVANAUGH
We visited the Planica Nordic Center, a very interesting place.
It has one ski-flying hill, seven ski-jumping hills, and indoor
cross-country skiing track in Planica, Slovenia. It is the largest
Nordic Centre in the world.
How The Last Jedi made me a
little less stupid
Posted 12.30.17
ROSS
MURRAY
Without giving away spoilers, I liked the film. It took the
series in a new direction and undermined certain assumptions about the
Star Wars universe. It certainly had its faults, but I was entertained
and had popcorn as a meal, which is about all you can ask of an evening
out. The biggest flaw I saw was my purchase of a large root beer without
considering the absence of a pause button.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 2 ~ DAY AROUND BLED
Posted
12.28.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
The next morning, we met Sasha
and the others at 9 a.m. to go on a tour. Our first stop -- Bled Castle,
which was first mentioned in writing in the year 1011.
Beast
Mode
Posted 12.22.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | The USA
is, at present, a writhing beast tearing its own guts out with claws
from the right and the left. Its agony will, without doubt, be suffered
by those of us who don't have solid gold bathroom fixtures on our
yachts. That's most of us.
When my barber retires, I'm
out of here
Posted 12.21.17
ROSS MURRAY
Data released this month
revealed that more people are leaving Quebec than arriving. This came
the same week that the provincial legislature unanimously passed a
motion ostensibly discouraging Quebec merchants (read: Montreal
merchants) from saying "Bonjour-hi" to customers.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
VISITING WHAT
WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA
Posted
12.18.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In 2017, from October 19 through November 7, Kathy
and I traveled in what used to be Yugoslavia. We traveled with my
brother and sister-in-law (Dave and Mary) on a Vantage tour, which
included a small boat cruise down the Dalmatian Coast. Yugoslavia, which
was a federation of eight provinces, was formed as a kingdom after WWI
with the breakup of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. After WWII it became
the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia under Marshal
Tito.
The Yapping Dogs of
Discord
Posted 12.14.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS |
The talking heads on MSNBC and CNN cannot suppress their glee at the
Moore defeat. The Democratic win in a blood-red state is a sure sign
that Trump's base - - the "Yapping Dogs of Discord" - - are
having second thoughts about their alpha dog. Not that a victory over an
animated rat turd like Moore can be called historic. If the Republicans
had run a tree stump instead of Moore they would have won
handily.
That so-called
tax reform stadium scam
Posted
12.12.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
What is in the American tax bill, that is the
question. Some good news -- in the House bill there is a provision that
ends the federal tax subsidy for private sports stadiums. Who would have
guessed it!.
Have yourself a Murray
Little Christmas
Posted 12.9.17
ROSS MURRAY
As a newly elected Stanstead
town councillor in Quebec, my wife was invited to the town hall annual
Christmas dinner, and as her spouse, I was invited along. That's right:
I was political arm candy, and I've never been prouder.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Fixing the
American booze tax mess
Posted
12.7.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The U.S. tax reform bill introduced in Mitch
McConnell's Senate in November includes deep cuts to federal excise
taxes on alcohol producers. Does this have anything to do with Kentucky
being a major producer of bourbon whisky?
At least I didn't mention
Daddy's Home 2
Posted 11.26.17
ROSS
MURRAY
My
wife and I recently took advantage of a much-needed getaway weekend, and
we did what most couples do when they ditch the kids and the pets and
the chores and find themselves alone in a hotel room: we watched a
movie.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Thankful
Posted
11.25.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
I woke up about 4 AM, thinking about Thanksgiving.
The American myth that I learned in grade school came to mind.
Back to
Wiesbaden
Posted 11.18.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
On Sunday, November 5 we (Kathy, brother Dave, his wife, Mary,
and I) had to change planes in Frankfurt, Germany on our way home from
Croatia. We decided to stay a couple of days and visit Wiesbaden to see
what had changed since my brother and I had lived there (1948 - 1951).
Kathy and I had visited Wiesbaden briefly 15 years ago, but it had been
40 years for Dave.
Branding: Not Just for
Cattle Anymore
Posted 11.13.17
ROSS MURRAY
The Ross Murray brand was
first established over 50 years ago and has undergone several iterations
- - Bad Haircut Ross Murray, Artsy Ross Murray, Ladies'Man Ross Murray
(recalled), Bad Haircut Ross Murray 2.0 - - until finally settling into
the Classic Vanilla Ross Murray we have come to know and
tolerate.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Spook-ular values: A Halloween
parable
Posted 10.30.17
ROSS MURRAY
It started with a body on a
bus. This was followed by a second body on a bus. The interval between
the discoveries was so brief that it felt like it couldn't be a
coincidence, though it proved to be so. Still, there was no getting over
the public perception that there was now an epidemic of bodies on
buses.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Gushing over Quebec tap
water
Posted 10.23.17
ROSS MURRAY
With the clarity of a
professionally maintained aquarium, St-Étienne's water offers up
the delicate aroma of fresh snow, wet leaves and the slightest hint of
bowling shoes. Triggering nostalgic memories of drinking from the garden
hose and strange stirrings after spying your friend's mom in a bikini,
our sample starts with a sharpness at the front of the tongue due to
calcium deposits, then finishes at the back of the throat due to
gravity. However, we remarked a certain shortfall in overall wetness,
and thus found it quenched our physical thirst yet not our thirst for
greater meaning in a relentlessly cruel world. 8.1/10
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Déjà vu all over
again
Posted 10.16.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Last Friday -- that was Friday the 13th by the way -- President
Trump announced he would not certify Iran's compliance with the 2015
nuclear agreement, which imposes restrictions on Iran's nuclear program
in exchange for economic sanctions relief. The President said:
"We will see what happens with Iran. We're very unhappy with
Iran. They have not treated us with the kind of respect that they should
be treating."
The cat who
cancelled Thanksgiving
Posted 10.14.17
ROSS
MURRAY
Regular readers know that I harbour a certain prejudice against
cats, and like most prejudices, it's defined by my own narrow
experience. But this summer, our middle daughter Katie moved back home
along with her own two cats, Lincoln and Chandler. That's when I
discovered not all cats are jerks; only our cats are jerks.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
I am running for town
hall in Stanstead, Quebec?
Posted 10.9.17
ROSS
MURRAY
A
number of people have asked me about a rumour going around that I plan
to run for municipal council. If ever there was a time to address such a
rumour -- right before the nomination deadline -- this would be the
time. It gives me great pleasure, therefore, to confirm today that I
have also heard the rumour and that the rumour is, indeed, going
around.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Bye-bye
pool
Posted 09.29.17
ROSS MURRAY
We warned the children we were getting
rid of the swimming pool. I swear we warned them. Maybe they didn't
believe us, thinking it was one of our idle threats, like "We're
going to move to the country!" or "We're going to organize the
yogurt containers under the sink!"
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Literary giant? A Penny
For Your Thoughts
Posted 09.16.17
ROSS
MURRAY
On
the way back from Prince Edward Island this summer, we passed Shediac,
NB, home of the world's largest lobster. Children climb on it. Don't
worry, it's made of concrete. Watching children climb on a real giant
lobster, now that I would pull off the highway for.
Ross Murray is
a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
CARBON TAX:
STILL A GOOD IDEA
Posted
09.1.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
A carbon tax is a fee imposed on carbon-based fuels
(coal, oil, gas, etc.). The purpose of a carbon tax is to reduce damage
to the environment and eventually eliminate the use of fossil fuels.
Got
Wood?
Posted 09.1.17
ROSS MURRAY
In the 20-plus years my wife
and I have been tent camping, we've barely changed our routine. We still
pile our kitchen gear in a laundry basket - - as portable as it is
inefficient. We use grocery bags to transport our dry goods, which
before the end of the day are spread across the back seat. And our
original luggage carrier doesn't so much sit on the roof as cling for
dear life.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
 Phoenix police
oppression
Posted 08.26.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The cops stood on the their side of the street in full riot
gear and gas masks with two barricades and a street between us, before
they descended on the crowd. We were pushed, bullied, and assaulted
without provocation or warning.
Flushing tips for
guests
Posted 08.18.17
ROSS MURRAY
Welcome to our home and, more
specifically, this little corner of personal hygiene privacy we like to
call the guest bathroom. Please make yourself comfortable and avail
yourself of whatever you need. We have provided a wide variety of
reading material, from an assortment of Archie digests to a well-thumbed
Victoria's Secret catalogue, a subtle acknowledgement by your hosts
that, here, your business is none of ours.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Great Republican Con
Job
Posted 08.12.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Wake up America! You are being
conned! President Trump, with the help of Congress and the media, is
pulling the oldest trick in the book -- distract everyone with the
threat of war with some other country. In this case, North
Korea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH
THIS US "RECOVERY"?
Posted 08.8.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The employment figures for July have arrived and the numbers
exceeded expectations. Some 209,000 new jobs were created and the
unemployment rate fell to 4.3 percent. That brings the total to more
than 1 million new jobs since President Trump took office, who proudly
tweeted: Excellent Jobs Numbers just released -- and I have only just
begun.
The ghost of Stuart McLean
describes Canada's summer of 2017
(Look, it's a Canadian thing,
eh?)
Posted 08.5.17
ROSS MURRAY
It's a beautiful morning. The kind of
morning that makes you want to leap out of bed, put on an old record and
wake the children so they can watch you shimmy. It's the kind of morning
that makes you think of your childhood growing up in Cape Breton, and
the only plaything you had was an orange.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Me, age 110, explaining the
secret of my longevity
Posted 07.31.17
ROSS
MURRAY
It's so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought
drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a
flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old
people. Human contact was so uncomfortable back then. This is much
easier, and I don't even have to get dressed or unhook myself from
SeniorFeed.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Let the US
Congress get to work on real tax reform
Posted 07.29.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The next high priority item in the Republican governing agenda
is Tax Reform. Given the RepublicanÕs track record on health care, I
thought they could use some help on Tax Reform. First I thought, WE (As
in "We the People" acting as stated in Article I, through the
Congress) need some goals for Tax Reform: (1) raise revenue (2) simplify
tax filings, (3) eliminate favorable treatments that some receive, (4)
lower tax rates, and (5) make taxation more fair.
OF COURSE YOU CAN HAVE ICE
CREAM FOR BREAKFAST
Posted 7.25.17
RON
COHEN
Excerpt from Ron's newly published memoirs of more than 40
years as top-flight American journalist.
And a 5 6 7
8...Dance!
Posted 07.20.17
ROSS MURRAY
As part of our constant quest
for innovation and funkiness, Drinking Tips for Teens is pleased
to present the world's first choreographed blog post. What's black and
white and ready to boogie all over? Read on!
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Lions and tigers and ticks, oh
my!
Posted 06.26.17
ROSS MURRAY
If a tree falls in a forest, and no one
is around to hear it, is it because everyone's afraid they're going to
get lyme disease? Probably. This summer, the tiniest of insects are
public enemy number one and people are avoiding the woods in
droves.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
\My appropriation
apology
Posted 06.21.17
ROSS MURRAY
In 2016, I published a novel
entitled A Hole in the Ground. In this novel, I referred to a
First Nations people, the Muskawatipaq, as well as their ancestral
territory, Petawodimocto. These references were entirely fictional,
created for the purposes of establishing a setting for my story and
making up words that sounded kind of cool. I regret that I culturally
appropriated faux-native culture.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Dorothy
leaves Kansas for Oz
Posted 06.11.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Sam Brownback has been a star of the Tea Party, both in
Congress and since he was elected Governor of Kansas. In May 2012, he
instituted a package of drastic tax cuts to produce what he predicted
would be "a shot of adrenaline into the heart of the Kansas
economy."
What's wrong with your
car? Where to start?
Posted 06.8.17
ROSS
MURRAY
As
requested, we have given your automobile a thorough inspection and are
pleased to report to you our findings. In a nutshell -- or as we
mechanics like to say, "in a DIN 6923 swivel flange nut"
(ha-ha!) -- you have made the fundamental mistake that 9 out of 10
drivers make: you have driven your car.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Our celebrity
commencement speaker is unavailable
Posted 05.26.17
ROSS
MURRAY
I
know you are expecting me at this point to introduce our celebrity
commencement speaker. After all, the least we can do after your three to
five years of academic struggle and astronomical student loans is to
provide you with some sort of A-list entertainer offering high-minded
bromides to create the illusion that at long last you got your money's
worth.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Terminate this
charade
Posted 05.20.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
President Trump has ordered a review of all National Monuments
established since 1996, and you are responsible for this review. This
review effort is a diversion of the Department's efforts and a waste of
resources. The restricted budget of the Department of the Interior is
insufficient to meet the maintenance needs of the parks and monuments.
The deferred maintenance in 2015 was estimated to be $12 billion by GAO.
A glaring example of the deferred maintenance is the Memorial Bridge,
which alone needs $250 million in repairs.
Trumpwatch 2017: The Mad
Toddler
Posted 5.18.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS |
Those of us with frost on our collective pumpkins will remember the
reign of Idi Amin of Uganda. In the 70s Amin rose to power and
instituted an "psycho-ocracy" in Uganda. Among the many
peccadillos that Amin was known for was a propensity for cannibalism. To
say his grip on reality was tenuous is an understatement. He once
said: "Sometimes people mistake the way I talk for what I am
thinking. " Does that remind you of anyone?
One brief shining
toilet
Posted 0515.17
ROSS MURRAY
Last year, I moved into an
office on the second floor because, logistically, logically, it made
sense. Six months later, logisticallyer, logicallyer, it makes more
sense for me to move back where I came from. It's kind of like getting
deported, except I don't fear for my life and the greatest inconvenience
is having to hang my pictures again.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
The President's
Tax Plan
Posted 05.14.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
President Trump has proposed a plan to overhaul the tax code. I
think that this effort is timely. Overall, he proposes to reduce taxes.
His plan for individuals proposes to eliminate targeted tax breaks that
mainly benefit the wealthiest taxpayers and to repeal the Alternative
Minimum Tax are good ideas, but insufficient.
The man with his hands
on his hips
Posted 05.8.17
ROSS MURRAY
I want to be the man in the
room with his hands on his hips, and not in a swishy way, nor with my
hands balled into fists like I'm Charles Atlas, but sturdy and
confident. A man who seems to say, "Neckties are for chumps or for
strangling terrorists who make the mistake of infiltrating this
facility, which happened this morning, and I didn't even crease my
shirt, though I did ruin a tie. It was my assistant Barlow's tie,
because I don't wear them, not being in the least bit
chumpish."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
New Pot for Old Farts: A
Guide
Posted 04.30.17
ROSS MURRAY
So, you've decided you're
going to start smoking pot again. Congratulations! First, though, stop
calling it "pot." These days, the cool kids call it
"weed," and that's 30 percent the point of this entire
exercise, right? To be cool again, just like you were in your twenties
when you wore a bandana and regularly smoking doobies.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Resist.
Now.
Posted 04.20.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
As some of you know, I went to
high school in Germany as US military dependant, arriving there in June
of 1948. The damage from WWII was starkly evident -- think of the
pictures of Syria you see, on steroids. I once visited a residential
section of Hamburg that had been firebombed; nothing burnable was left
and the bricks from the houses had exploded from the heat, resulting in
a brick-red sea as far as one could see.
Talking to your kids about legal
drugs
Posted 04.17.17
ROSS MURRAY
Sit down, son. I'd like to
talk to you about a difficult subject. No, not sex. No, not why all the
rock stars are dying off. I want to talk to you about marijuana. Now
that it's legal in Canada, you may be tempted to try it for the first
time.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Pump rage
Posted
04.7.17
ROSS MURRAY
My general state of being whenever I wait for a gas
pump to free up can best be described as "seething." I'm not
great with waiting, even in a car surrounded by the endless
possibilities of radio entertainment because, as it happens, I also
seethe at commercial radio.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Risky days for
columnists
Posted 03.31.17
ROSS MURRAY
Hi there. How's tricks? Does
anyone say that anymore? "How's tricks? " Sounds Damon
Runyon-esque. That's Damon Runyon, the American writer, not Damon
Runyan, the Canadian actor and star of "Degrassi: The Next
Generation," though, honestly, what kind of parent does that to a
child? It would be like if my last name were "Frankenstein"
and I named my child "Brideof."
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Father-daughter-Beyoncé
bonding
Posted 03.27.17
ROSS MURRAY
Abby and I get under each
other's skin these days -- the sneering, the glares, the sarcasm, the
outbursts and eye rolls. And Abby's pretty ornery too.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
The one-quarter buck
stops here
Posted 03.18.17
ROSS MURRAY
A Canadian quarter from 1907
turned up in my wife's change from the liquor store last weekend. I like
to think it ended up there by way of a slow-moving nonagenarian war
bride in a cardigan purchasing her bi-monthly supply of Harvey's Bristol
Cream. She is also the last person in Canada to pay for items in small
change, including pennies.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Coming out of the
crawlspace
Posted 03.11.17
ROSS MURRAY
When I was little, my older
brother and I would spend hours tunnelling into the piles of snow at the
end of our driveway. This was back when we regularly got snowfalls of 17
feet at a time. Or something like that. I was a lot shorter then. And
less metric.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
New guidelines for the coming
in/going out of March
Posted 03.6.17
ROSS
MURRAY
The
management would like to inform you that, in accordance with our
recently adopted policy on heightened inclusivity and respect for
species fluidity, March is no longer exclusively required to come in
like a lamb and go out like a lion (or vice versa, i.e.
coming-lion/going-lamb).
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Coal
Regulation Scuttled
Posted 03.06.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
President Trump has overturned the regulation that would
prevent dumping of coal mining debris into nearby streams. He called it
a "job-killing rule" before he signed the order to overturn
it. Members of Congress from coal-mining states, including Senate
Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-KY, Sen. Rand Paul, R-KY, Sen. Joe
Manchin, D-WV and Sen. Shelley Moore Capito, R-WV stood around
grinning.
Trumpwatch 2017: Guns for
the Insane and Other Crazy Shit
Posted 3.4.17
JIM
AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | As my legions of readers know (I estimate
them to be well into the single digits), I have always had a thing about
gun control. After several years of pursuing the goal of limiting
handguns, universal registration, banning assault weapons, and closing
the gun show loophole, I gave up.
A case of refugee
envy
Posted 02.28.17
ROSS MURRAY
Dear Refugees Fleeing Would-Be American
Oppression: I see on the news that you 've been crossing illegally from
the U.S. into Canada along our vast and largely unprotected border. It
's been happening in Manitoba and it 's been happening about an hour
away from here in Quebec.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
I want to be the guy who
drives the snowplough
Posted 02.21.17
ROSS
MURRAY
O,
I want to be the guy who drives the snowplough through the town.
A
vanquisher of snowstorms, mighty king of streets and roads.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Trumpwatch 2017: March
to Oblivion
Posted 2.16.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS |
If you are a fan of salacious media you will have noted the googly eyes
that Ivanka Trump was leveling at hunky Canadian PM Justin Trudeau. She
was all dressed up in a slinky shift and her "fuck me" pumps
when Trudy met with Agent Orange to discuss "Women in
Business."
The furious incident of
the stupid dog in the night time
Posted 02.14.17
ROSS
MURRAY
The
stupid dog goes to the door around 5:30 a.m., maybe earlier. Dogs can't
tell time. Every night when I come up to bed, Deb reminds me, "Did
you let The Beast out?" If I haven't, I do, even though I know it's
probably pointless because, at 11 o'clock, the dog doesn't need out. The
dog needs out at 5:30 a.m., maybe earlier. Stupid dog.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Carbon Tax
Redux
Posted 02.12.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
James A. Baker III, Secretary of State and White House Chief of
Staff under President George H. W. Bush, has advocated a good idea: a
Carbon Tax (See Link). He is supported by Hank Paulson, Treasury
Secretary for former President George W. Bush; Greg Mankiw, who chaired
Bush's Council of Economic Advisers; and Marty Feldstein, Chairman of
President Ronald Reagan's Council of Economic Advisors. Also in support
are former Walmart chairman, Rob Walton; Thomas Stephenson, a partner at
the venture capital firm Sequoia Capital; and Ted Halstead, founder of
New America and the Climate Leadership Council.
Trumpwatch 2017:
The Nightmare Continues
Posted 2.11.17
JIM
AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | Don't like Trump? Think he's an unmitigated
douchebag? There's a support group for that. It's called "Almost
Everybody." I'll try to keep up with the atrocities unleashed by
this administration but it's like trying to take cover from a cluster
bomb. So many lies, so many unethical shenanigans in so little
time.
Slime
Politics
Posted 02.8.17
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Last year the Senate, under the leadership of Republican
Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, failed to do their job by denying
President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, Merrick Garland, a hearing and
a vote. One could even make the case that members of the majority party
at that time violated their oath of office.
Trumped?
Skunked!
Posted 02.7.17
ROSS MURRAY
I am carrying this live skunk
to protest everything Donald Trump stands for. For the past weeks, as
I've watched the presidency of Donald Trump unfurl like a deep-fried
blooming onion at a county fair -- unhealthy, nauseating, greasy -- I
have asked myself, how can I make my voice heard? How can one small
person effectively express his utter loathing of Trump and his so-called
policies? Also, what can I do with this live skunk I happen to
have?
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Travel
Ban
Posted 02.3.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The travel ban sprung by the
Trump Administration initially looked to me like the typical blunder of
a bunch of newbies that are out of their depth. Of course, President
Trump is playing to his base and throwing these kind of bones will allow
him to avoid his real promises of saving coal miners and other middle
Americans from destitution.
Trumpwatch 2017:
Homogenizing America
Posted 2.1.17
JIM
AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | FDR had weekly "fireside chats" to
discuss events in government and help people understand his decisions.
Trump has decided to tweet out an atrocity of the week.
JOHNNY MUSN'T
GRUMBLE
Posted 1.31.17
JOHN MAHONEY
Fever Dreams at -26
C
Canadian political
leaders trip over tongues
Posted 1.30.17
PETER
BLACK
QUEBEC CITY | Say what you will about former Conservative prime
minister Stephen Harper (insert snide or sentimental comment here: ...
), he made a determined effort from an early age to learn and speak
French.
O, supplemented
youth!
Posted 01.28.17
ROSS MURRAY
In the 1960s and early 70s,
Canadian children did not regularly eat fresh fruit or vegetables during
the winter months due to complex British Commonwealth rules that stated
that all food must be grey or mush or both.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Trumpwatch 2017:
Lighting the Fuse
CAPE BRETON, NS | I mention Canada's
current Trudeau's hoo-raw only so we Canucks can be happy we are not
south of the border these days. Some of you may be indulging in a bit of
Schadenfreude but don't think the orange nightmare won't be having a
profound affect on us as well. So, let's see what parade of atrocities
has our bloviating buffoon saddled us with this week.
What Do We Do,
Now?
Posted 01.23.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We, in the United States, have
a government "of the People, by the People and for the
People," which is aimed at helping the peoples of the nation and
the world. We the People have just completed a very long process of
choosing new leadership in both the Executive Branch and the Legislative
Branch of that government. This past weekend, we installed that
leadership in its offices. Come Monday morning and we discover --
similar to the discovery we make after a long weekend drunk -- we have
made a horrendous mistake.
Townshipsplaining
the PM
Posted 01.21.17
ROSS MURRAY
Oh, hi there, Prime Minister
Trudeau, or as we say here in Quebec's Eastern Townships, "hi
there."You see, Justin (may I call you Justin? I think I may), the
Eastern Townships is a pretty easygoing place when it comes to the whole
English-French thing. Certainly we've had our battles -- sign
complaints, bilingual status debates, health care access. But for the
most part, even during difficult times, both linguistic communities have
been fairly even-tempered, dare I say cooperative.
Ross Murray is
a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Bilingualish today, not
so French tomorrow?
Posted 1.19.17
PETER
BLACK
QUEBEC CITY | Most people these days likely would identity the
acronym APEC as Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation, a group of Pacific
Rim countries, including Canada and, for now, the United States,
promoting free trade. For many years, though, APEC stood for something
quite different Canada. The Alliance for the Preservation of English
here was a group furiously opposed to the Official Languages Act of
1969.
Putin turns the
tables
Posted 1.16.17
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | Two or
three years ago it seemed that Russia had been backed into a corner by
the West - - from the Sochi Olympics to NATO's forces stationed along
Russia's borders, including the very-provocative NATO move to rotate
warships continually through the Black Sea, along the coasts of Russia
and Iran. NATO was negotiating for use of what used to be Russia's
largest naval base in the south, Sevastopol in the Crimea.
Eulogy for a big
guy
Posted 01.15.17
ROSS MURRAY
I learned recently that an old
university friend died. We spent two years together in Bennett House at
Mount Allison University in the mid-80s. His name was Jim Morrison. Not
that Jim Morrison. Not the Lizard King, though Jim was big like a T Rex,
and he tended to lumber like one. He was also legally blind, but only in
the sense that you wouldn't want to get behind the wheel with
him.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
TRUMPWATCH 2017;
From Obama Nation to Abomination
Posted 1.12.17
JIM
AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | I'm sorry but I just can't get behind the
crowd who says: "Let's just wait and see how he does" nor can
I follow the advice of Kellyanne "Conjob" Conway, his female
zombie minion who said, "don't worry about what comes out of his
mouth, it's what in his heart that matters."
JANUARY NEWSLETTER OF RUSSIAN
CYBER-HACKERS LOCAL 301
Posted 01.07.17
ROSS
MURRAY
Holiday season is over in decadent West. Many bourgeois
families woke on morning of Magical Jesus Holiday to find new electronic
devices under freshly killed living room tree. It is musical ringtone to
Mother Russia's eavesdropping ears. Soon all of West will be puppet for
Russian master and all of Russian people will have free subscription to
Netflix.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Winding
down
Posted 01.06.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Viking Akun had cruised
through the night on the Volga as it wandered through the Russian Plain,
which is characterized by low hills and woods. We arrived in Yaroslavl
just after breakfast about 8 a.m. . This city of about 600,000 was
founded about 1000 CE on the banks of the Volga River on the site of a
Viking village. The Volga turns south at this point. The Vikings used
the river as their route to the Caspian Sea.
Thinking Huuugely in
America
Posted 01.03.178
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Our President Elect, Donald Trump, has said that he is going to
bring American manufacturing jobs back from overseas. I have argued
that, while some jobs have gone overseas, the real problem is that jobs
have disappeared due to new technology. The chart below, needless to
say, supports my position.
How to do laundry in
2017
Posted 12.29.16
ROSS MURRAY
Get the dirt on soap: Your
laundry detergent makes a lot of claims. It's going to spin. It's going
to tell you it's better than all the other detergents. It might say the
other detergents can't get the job done, have no moral fibre, don't have
the temperament, are soft on grime. Some might go so far as to suggest
the competing brands support ring around the collar.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Going
North
Posted 12.23.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The Viking Akun cruised north on the Moscow Canal through the
newer parts of Moscow heading for the Volga River. All along this part
of the route were new apartment buildings, cranes where apartments would
be soon, green park areas and many recreational facilities, including
amusement parks. What I read in the newspapers and magazines indicates
that the Russian economy is in bad shape. However, that was not what I
observed.
No fear & loathing
Ôround this old Christmas tree
Posted 12.05.16
FRED
RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | Since when did, "Have a safe
Christmas!", become a seasonal greeting? Did you hear this as a
kid? I didn't. Or if I did, it meant "don't drink too much",
but today this so-called greeting encompasses the most horrendous
threats.
The Donald does
Christmas
Posted 12.21.16
ROSS MURRAY
1 AD @realBethlehemTrump Just
read Old Testament. Not good. God did a very bad job. All smiting and
pestilence, zero job creation. New Testament will be unbelievably
world-class, trust me.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
SCHRODINGER'S CAT COMES TO LIFE IN
SATURDAY'S NEW YORK TIMES
Posted 12.19.16
RON
COHEN
NEAR
WASHINGTON DC | I have been alive 79 years and 11 months without ever
having encountered Schrodinger's Cat. That changed this
weekend.
The coming of the
coffee bean behemoth
Posted 12.13.16
ROSS
MURRAY
The
office where I work is in a former home set a fair distance from the
rest of the school. I'm alone on the second floor, making me the most
outlying member of the school staff. I'm the institutional Pluto. There
are five of us in this building. Sometimes I hear them having a good
time downstairs. Sometimes they leave and lock me in. When this occurs,
I remind myself that I have a private bathroom.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Trumpwatch 2016: March to
Oblivion
PUTNEY, VT | Trump's current parade of Fox hosts and
lunatic fringe element contestants for his cabinet is chilling. The
Donald is handling his appointments like a cheesy game show host. Most
unappealing is the lineup of lickspittle former critics of Trump who are
now panting for a cabinet post.
Your Basic Reverse Advent
Calendar
Posted 12.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
From now until Christmas Eve,
you get to open one small window a day and delight in the small treat
inside -- unless the treats are tiny liqueur-filled chocolates, in which
case you're probably going to eat/drink them all alone this Saturday
night watching "Gilmore Girls" on Netflix. Friends don't let
friends advent binge. Or watch "Gilmore Girls."
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Beatles on the
Border
Posted 11.23.16
ROSS MURRAY
Legend has it that back in the
day the Beatles used to meet [at the Haskell Free Library on the
Quebec/Vermont border]. John was banned from the US so he would enter
the library from the Canadian side with George, Paul, and Ringo coming
in from the US side. The locals claim that George, Paul, and Ringo used
to stay to relax afterwards because they could walk around and everyone
just treated them as regular people.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Trumped
PUTNEY, VT
| I send you greetings from Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia. If you
will recall at the end of the movie "World War Z" Brad Pitt
and his family took refuge from the zombie apocalypse in Nova Scotia.
Now that much the same thing has happened in the U.S.A. Brad and I are
here for the next four years at least.
Getting back to sexy
business
Posted 11.14.16
ROSS MURRAY
As if Americans haven't been
through enough gut-wrenching uncertainty, next week they must join the
rest of the world as we anxiously await a vital decision: who will be
People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
An unfocused look at
optometry
Posted 11.09.16
ROSS MURRAY
Optometry is one of those
professions where I think, "Hey, I could do do that." It
doesn't seem that complicated. With some basic equipment and an
instructive YouTube video, I'm sure I could manage it.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
'Mad as
Hell'
Posted 11.11.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
All of the talking heads in Washington and elsewhere are trying
to explain why there is so much anger in the U.S. voting public. I think
that Bill Clinton got it right in his 1992 campaign when he said:
"it's the economy stupid."
Scarebnb: A
Halloween Review
Posted 10.30.16
ROSS MURRAY
OMG this place was literally a
nightmare. If you have a choice between spending the night in an open
grave filled with the corpses of murdered orphans or at Jaundiced
Entrails B&B, well, I would say the B&B but only because
it's closer to the airport.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Reading at a Literary
Festival
Posted 10.24.16
ROSS MURRAY
For the last several months
I've been enjoying house concerts in Stanstead. I get to go into
someone's living room and enjoy performers as they stand in front of me
playing intricate arrangements on instruments that I could never begin
to master. I, on the other hand, read out loud to people.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
The
Kremlin
Posted 10.22.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
On our visits to Moscow city center we had been all around the
Kremlin's red brick wall with its towers, and viewed it from all angles.
As mentioned earlier, kremlin means fortress in Russian and many cities
have kremlins. The area enclosed within the Kremlin wall in Moscow is
over 68 acres and is almost in the form of a triangle. It includes five
palaces, four cathedrals, and a number of office buildings.
Whither
Democracy?
Posted 10.11.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We Americans pride ourselves on being exceptional and being the
world's oldest democracy. In the last few years, we have not been
setting an example for the rest of the world. Whatever happened to the
shining city on the hill? In our domestic policies, we are
disenfranchising voters, buying elections, and abandoning civility.
These actions plus the dysfunction of our government causes the U.S. to
lose its standing as a world leader. We see European countries like
Poland and Hungary following the lead of Putin's Russia moving toward
oligarchy.
Bend it like
Bonehead
Posted 10.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
Over the years, I've mostly
shied away from playing in these [student-teacher] games due to my
medical condition: I'm allergic to humiliation.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Trumping
myself
Posted 10.07.16
ROSS MURRAY
If there's one thing that the
U.S. federal election campaign has taught me and that Monday night's
debate in particular reinforced and that the mainstream media helpfully
perpetuated and that my gut instinct kind of knew all along and that my
mother warned me would probably happen, it's that run-on sentences are
no big deal.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
My nude
calendar
Posted 09.28.16
ROSS MURRAY
Earlier this year I ran a
successful Kickstarter campaign to help cover the cost of printing the
debut novel that I will stop shamelessly referencing sometime in the
middle-distant future. The campaign was a success, and the book is now
for sale at better tanning salons near you.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
A Day in
Moscow
Posted 09.20.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We disembarked at the Moscow airport and walked to get our
luggage, and meet our transportation. The airport could have been
anywhere, except for the signs in Cyrillic. Fortunately, most signs had
English subtitles.
Book Launch Emergency
Measures
Posted 09.15.16
ROSS MURRAY
QUEBEC'S EASTERN TOWSHIPS |
This Saturday Sept. 17 at Townshippers' Day, I will officially launch my
debut novel, A Hole in the Ground. Set in the fictional town of
Beaverly, the plot hinges on a local disaster. And turtles. I can verify
there are stampeding beavers. But mostly the disaster.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Explaining the
ocean
Posted 09.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
So. Imagine a water. A big,
big water. No, bigger than that. Think of all the bathtubs you will fill
in your lifetime. Now multiply by infinity. Add salt. That's the ocean.
It's where the land stops. There's land on the other side of it, but you
can't see it. You just have to trust that it's there, and for a while a
whole lot of people didn't. If you ever saw an ocean you would
understand why. There are no crocodiles.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
The Trump -
Putin Bromance
Posted 09.11.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
It appears as if we are getting used to Donald Trump's
off-the-cuff statements describing Putin as a "strong leader"
and saying that the United States gets "no respect" from
Russian President Vladimir Putin.
This is your fight
song
Posted 09.06.16
ROSS MURRAY
With classes beginning this week, it
seems a shame that many schools no longer have fight songs to rev up the
bloodlust against other schools differentiated only by their postal
code. There's nothing quite like teenagers singing in unison as they
call for the metaphorical death of their peers to make one feel pride in
the ol' school colours.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
How I spent my summer
staycation
Posted 08.31.16
ROSS MURRAY
Normally I would keep a
journal of my annual vacation travels, but this year we stayed put. What
to do? One option might be to post a Yelp review of my Ultimate
Staycation Package. ("Directions were spot on: walk downstairs,
turn left at the laundry basket and enter the kitchen. I appreciated the
Unlimited Fridge Access and the Pants Optional Policy but customer
service involved far too much eye-rolling. Also the house had a funny
smell. Or so I'm told. I didn't notice.")
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
The Russians are not going gentle
into that good night
Posted 08.23.16
ROSS
MURRAY
Welcome back to Rio and the semi-final match of Famous Poets'
Beach Volleyball. Coming up: the U.S. team of Robert Frost and Sylvia
Plath versus T.S. Eliot and Dylan Thomas of Great Britain, what is sure
to be an afternoon of all-around athleticism, artistry and
alliteration.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Never underestimate
the power of a bad idea
Posted 08.21.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
In our current American political campaign there has been a
drumbeat about manufacturing and manufacturing jobs being shipped
overseas; both Hillary and Donald have had much to say in their
speeches. The implication is that nothing is manufactured in the U.S. of
A. today. The result, so goes the political story, is that shipping of
manufacturing jobs overseas has resulted in HUGE layoffs and
unemployment.
This old
housepainter
Posted 08.17.16
ROSS MURRAY
If you ever want to see how
your body changes over time, just paint your house every eight years or
so.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
American
Democracy Betrayed
Posted 08.15.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
the American philosophy and system of government was thus
designed by the Founders, equally to prevent, the 'snob-rule' of a
governing Elite and the 'mob-rule' of The Majority. This design was to
preclude the existence in America of any governmental power capable of
being misused so as to violate the individual's rights.
Welcome to your
personal day
Posted 08.10.16
ROSS MURRAY
Good morning! I hope you
enjoyed that extra 10 minutes of sleep. And not the cruel joke
"snooze button" extra sleep but the kind from which you awaken
gently, dreaming of a multi-handed masseuse singing The Carpenters'
greatest hits, in a non-gooey, freshly re-evaluated way. This is your
personal day. Everyone's getting one this year, and today is yours, all
yours. "
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
TOURNON TO AVIGNON
Posted 08.08.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Tournon dates from Celtic times and is built on a narrow level
area along the river right up against granite hills. In the 11th century
a wealthy family of nobles, the Counts of Tournon, built a fort/castle
on the granite rock overlooking the Rhone Valley. The castle is above
the fortification in the picture and contains a museum, open to the
public.
I See My First American
Open-Carry Guy
Posted 08.08.16
JOHN MAHONEY
I saw him at Taft's Corners in
Williston, Vermont, at the Majestic 10 Cinema on July 31. It was
approximately 5:45 p.m. outside Theater No. 1 where the (new, bad)
Jason Bourne flick was playing.
Summer self-lovin',
happened so fast
Posted 08.05.16
ROSS MURRAY
I'll never forget that summer
romance when I was 16. Neither can the girl involved, I suspect, except
in her case it's probably "Why can't I forget that summer 'romance'
when I was 16!" I remember everything being so intense and
wonderful: that first shy meeting, the hot-and-heavy hand-holding,
finally getting to second base, which in 1982 meant acknowledging that
your affection had reached the next level, or "base."
[Editor's note: This is not what "second base" meant in
1982.]
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Closing speech of the
Rossican National Convention
Posted 07.27.16
ROSS
MURRAY
Thank you, everyone, thank you. Thank you for that kind
ovation, not to mention the spontaneous singing of the national anthem.
That it was the national anthem of Uruguay was a bit of a surprise, but
stirring nonetheless.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
IN ANCIENT VIENNE
Posted 07.22.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Vienne is a really old Roman town that predates Caesar's
conquest of Gaul by 60 years and the Roman town sprawled onto both sides
of the river. On our walking tour after the cathedral, we visited the
Temple of Augustus and Livia, which was built during the reign of
Emperor Augustus.
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
IN BEAUTIFUL LYON
Posted 07.14.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The region around Lyon is predominantly agricultural with
tourism working up to second place. Cows are much in evidence and are
used both for meat and milk, which is made into a number of well-known
cheeses: Bleu d'Auvergne, Cantal, Fourme d'Ambert and Saint-Nectaire.
Cheese and wine are all that is needed to make Lyon's reputation as a
culinary capital.
More
National Parks funding needed
Posted 07.13.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The inefficiency involved in having one federal agency apply to
another for partial funding for a project that both the executive and
legislative branches have long recognized as necessary, is appalling.
Further, the grant will not complete this necessary job; estimated to
cost $250 million. This situation will lead to further inefficiencies
because of the effort required by the project team in the National Park
Service to piece together the rest of the required funding.
10 things you should never say
to the parent of a child who is pure evil
Posted
07.11.16
ROSS MURRAY
1. Why can't your child stop being pure evil?
Because his evil is pure, can't you see? It's not a little evil, not
part-time evil, not a little over the top evil. Pure evil. The essence
of evil. It cannot be stopped or contained. You might as well ask him to
stop conjuring the minions of Satan or demanding we read him I Love
You Forever each and every single night. I mean, it's a tearjerker
at first but after a while you just want to claw your eyeballs out. But
we have to read it, otherwise he'll smite us.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Ol' Catfish in the house,
ladies!
Posted 07.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
I'm kind of funny looking. I
see it most in photographs. "Wow," I'll say. "My head is
huge." On good days, I like to describe my body as
"streamlined." Wrists like chopsticks with veins like The
Hulk. My son will never forgive me for his nose.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
ONE WAY TO MAKE A
(SHAKUHACHI) QUIVVER
Posted 06.26.156
JOHN
MAHONEY
I
settled on this low-cost method of carrying a flute(s) on my daily
meditation/play/walk up the Muskrat Lake shoreline path to the local
park overlook, and other treks. This includes our annual week's vacation
in July at Newport, Vermont, overlooking beautiful Lake Memphremagog,
where each day at sunrise I play shakuhachi and NAFs from the high front
steps of St. Mary's church looking down the lake for miles into
Quebec.
John Mahoney is the publisher of the Log Cabin Chronicles.
This is the third in a projected series on his Shakuhachi
journey.
His column archives: Click
Here
E-mail
anxiety
Posted 06.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
It wasn't necessarily being
served in English that sealed the deal but it didn't hurt. Deb and I had
been considering changing our phone and Internet provider for some time,
so when a representative from a company we'll call Cabletron phoned out
of the blue on Saturday, I didn't react the way I normally do when a
telemarketer calls:
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
LYON DAYS
Posted 06.21.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
After breakfast we went by coach north to the Beaujolais
region, which produces one of France's most famous wines. The vineyards
stretch for ten miles along the Saône River and up the rolling
hills. Wine was first produced here by the Romans; and then through the
Middle Ages, winemaking was done by the Benedictine monks. Our goal was
the Chateau Ravatys (see below) for a tour of the vineyard and the
cellar followed by a wine tasting.
House of
strippers
Posted 06.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
I don't know if years ago they
used special NASA-grade paint for kitchen woodwork, but this door frame
required much straining, grunting, and sweating, which also sounds like
a fun night out but I can assure you was not. Was lead-based paint
actually a coat of lead, because it sure felt like it.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Cap in hand for A Hole in
the Ground
Posted 06.09.16
ROSS MURRAY
I did something recently that
I'm not very comfortable doing. No, not that! Disgusting! No, I asked
people for money. I'm normally much more comfortable passively hinting
for money or sighing heavily about money until eventually people give me
money to make me go away. I launched a Kickstarter campaign to ask
people to help me affray the up-front printing costs for the publication
of my debut novel, A Hole in the Ground. This is serious
business. I know because I'm using business-y words like
"affray" and "up-front."
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
PARIS DAYS
Posted 06.06.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Wine in hand, we all chose typical fare for petite
déjeuner -- Croque Monsieur, soupe à l'oignon, and Quiche
Lorraine -- while seated in the enclosed sidewalk café enjoying
the passing scene. The bright yellow Lamborghini playing Grand Prix on
the Avenue de Suffren was a hit.
Death and the double
bed
Posted 05.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
As I was cursing the person who
installed the wallpaper border in our hallway 22 years ago and wondering
whether it would have been easier if I'd removed it 21 years ago, a song
popped into my head.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
My soap has let me
down
Posted 05.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
I had such high hopes for my soap. It
had a revitalizing formula. Not merely a revitalizing blueprint or a
revitalizing vague idea but a formula. That's science, math, the
stuff babies drink -- any which way, very serious business!
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
How to talk to
humans
Posted 05.16.16
ROSS MURRAY
In the brain are thousands of
thinkifiers that are triggered by external stimulus and celebrity news
stories. These thinkifiers can be active or dormant, depending on such
variables as barometric pressure and the proximity of Steve Buscemi.
It's good to have a thought in advance of speaking to a human because
social situations depress the thinkifier, rendering it next to
impossible to come up with something to contribute to a conversation,
especially if the human is totally cute or has something distracting
hanging from her nostril.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Gluten for
punishment
Posted 05.11.16
ROSS MURRAY
There have been rumours for
years. This time they're true. People said it would never happen, but
it's already in the works. Stanstead, Quebec, is to be the home of an
industrial gluten repository.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Doris and the Broken
Leg
Posted 05.10.16
RON COHEN
NEAR WASHINGTON DC | Doris Kraus, my
classmate at Nassau School in East Orange, N.J., was a sweet girl whose
parents came from Germany. It was kind of exotic having a
German-American friend during World War II, when every adult we knew was
saying bad things about those awful "Krauts." But you couldn't
regard her wildly bouncing blond curls and her shy smile and think
anything except, "How cute!" This is an excerpt from Ron
Cohen's forthcoming memoir, "Of Course You Can Have Ice Cream for
Breakfast: Love Letters to My Grandkids". Cohen retired after four
decades with United Press International and Gannett News Service, and is
the author of the award-winning "Down to the Wire: UPI's Fight for
Survival."
Being part of
The Process
Posted 04.26.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
After a search on the Senate website, I found no phone number
for the Majority Leader of the Senate. So, I tried to call Senator Mitch
McConnell at his office in the Russell Senate Office Building; his
number is 202-224-2541. I got a robo-answer saying that his office was
experiencing a large number of calls and please send an
e-mail.
How to make a superhero
movie
Posted 04.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
You start with an Exposition:
It's a dark time. It's a dangerous time. It's lunch time. There's a
global food crisis, and by "global" we mean the United States,
which is the same thing. The government and military have teamed up in
an implicitly sinister way with a mega-corporation to manage the crisis
using robo-soldiers powered by the world's stockpile of personal
deodorants. It's a smelly time.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Steal this
look
Posted 04.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
Sweater: Woolrich, neutral, bumpy
-- The sweater, of course, anchors the ensemble. Woolly, bland and
shapeless, like its owner, the sweater's neutral tones cry out,
"This once belonged to my father-in-law, and the fact that it was
free is its finest quality."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
When cliffs
attack
Posted 04.1 3.16
ROSS MURRAY
On Sunday, a 20-year-old woman
in St. John's, Newfoundland drove over the cliffs of Signal Hill in her
Toyota Echo (ECHO, Echo, echo...). The woman escaped from the plummeting
vehicle before it came to a stop 90 metres down the cliff face. The
victim was lucky, for if she had fallen into the sea, she would have
been a-salted.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Who really gets punished
in the IRS game?
Posted 04.12.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Fortunately, I did not have a question for the IRS because last
year only 37 percent of those that called the IRS got through. If I had
called and gotten through, my wait would have averaged 23 minutes. Snail
mail is worse; the IRS backlog for letters waiting to be answered is
currently over 900,000.
Then Came the Gunshots and a
Hell of a Story That Monday Afternoon
Posted 04.07.16
RON
COHEN
NEAR
WASHINGTON DC | "The President has been shot!" In 40-plus
years in journalism, I heard these words twice. The first time was on
November 22, 1963, and nobody alive then will forget where they were and
what they were doing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated while riding
in an open limousine in a presidential motorcade in Dallas.This is an
excerpt from Ron Cohen's forthcoming memoir, "Of Course You Can
Have Ice Cream for Breakfast: Love Letters to My Grandkids". Cohen
retired after four decades with United Press International and Gannett
News Service, and is the author of the award-winning "Down to the
Wire: UPI's Fight for Survival."
The Sleep
Contract
Posted 04.04.16
ROSS MURRAY
Whereas the
parties referred to herein have shared a bed on a nocturnal basis for
considerable time in accordance to accepted socio-marital norms and
sleeping patterns, notwithstanding that as time passes, said sleeping
patterns are becoming increasingly weird; and whereas the parties wish
to maintain peaceful relations pursuant to the good governance of a
decent night's sleep; the parties do willingly and without prejudice
agree to the following terms and conditions:
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
How to be
irritating
Posted 03.28.16
ROSS MURRAY
Hello, I'm Ross Murray, but I
insist you call me by the nickname I've given myself,
"Ponchy." Giving yourself a nickname is just one of many
simple and mostly inexpensive ways to be irritating. Today, Ponchy is
going to share some of these ways with you. Ponchy knows what he's
talking about.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Dance like everybody's
watching
Posted 03.22.16
ROSS MURRAY
Next, you must create the
Facebook event, with a catchy name like "Me So Dance-y!" or
"There Is No 'I' In 'Dance' But There Should Be!" What was
life like before the Facebook event? Those were sad days of candlelight
and rotary phones and people dancing with hardly anybody watching them
at all. But now they have you. It is you they will watch dance, and
their lives will never be the same.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Whatever happened to
Owen?
Posted 03.14.16
ROSS MURRAY
One of the perks of having
children is being able to watch an alternate version of your life unfold
before your very eyes. It's like some Hollywood remake with different
actors, contemporary references and better hair, but the story and
themes are more or less the same. "I've seen this before," you
say. "I know how it turns out."
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
How many U.S.
Supremes should America have?
Posted 03.13.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Additionally, Judge Posner points out, -- contrary to what
Justice Roberts said -- that the justices bring their attitudes and
suppositions, which they have derived from their upbringing, training,
personal and career experience, religion and national origin.
My Canada Gross
coat
Posted 03.07.16
ROSS MURRAY
I've long been of the belief that our
craving for stuff is what's killing our planet. Consequently, I tend to
hang onto things until they're worn beyond use rather than replace them
with something new. I'm good for the environment, terrible for the
economy.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
In
Washington, a debate of sorts
Posted 03.05.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Recently, I went to Capitol Hill to watch a debate entitled
The Executive Branch VS. Congressional Prerogatives in National
Security Decisions. This was sponsored by the American Foreign
Policy Council (AFPC). I had been invited by my friend Liz who is
affiliated with AFPC.
Strunk and White and
Trump: The Elements of the Style
Posted 02.21.16
ROSS
MURRAY
The
active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive.
People love the vigor. I have been very successful with the vigor.
Everybody loves it. Hillary Clinton was the worst Secretary of State in
the history of the country. So much better, a thousand times better than
I think what's happening to this country is unbelievably bad; we're no
longer a respected country. What's wrong with that sentence is so
obviously President Obama. Incredibly passive.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Writing the write, reading
the read
Posted 02.15.16
ROSS MURRAY
I was sitting in my office,
working the work, when the sole of my foot started vibrating. It was
very subtle, like maybe there was machinery operating under the floor.
It wasn't a steady vibration but starting and stopping, with the rhythm
of an oscillating fan.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Safe drinking
water, toxic lead levels, and slashing safety
spending
Posted 02.13.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The anti-regulation industry and the "government is the
problem" folks have been attacking EPA for years. Adjusted for
inflation, the $100 million annual budget of the EPA's drinking water
office has fallen 15 percent since 2006, resulting in a more than 10
percent reduction of its staff.
Happy Days in
Canada
Posted 02.08.16
ROSS MURRAY
According to a recent poll,
two-thirds of Canadians are "pretty happy." This to me is the
perfect Canadian answer. When you ask a Canadian "How are
you?" nine times out of ten, the answer will be "pretty
good." Not "great," not "lousy," not "get
off my porch before I call the cops," but "pretty good."
It's that kind of contained enthusiasm that has made Canada the mostly
all right country it is today.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Murray of Atholl: be careful
how you thay it
Posted 02.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
I love the Scottish language,
because it's almost English. I can understand just enough to get the
gist of what's being said. This is also, by the way, how I've lived my
life in French Quebec for the last 26 years.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Talking Dirty: U.S.
Water And The EPA
Posted 01.31.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
So why didn't EPA solve this problem before so many people in
Flint, Michigan, were exposed?
All-purpose rock star
obituary
Posted 01.26.16
ROSS MURRAY
Music lovers were (A) saddened
(B) shocked (C) not surprised at all today to learn that (A) rock legend
(B) one-hit wonder (C) bong aficionado XYZ had died after a courageous
battle against (A) cancer (B) Alzheimer's (C) a small pack of Girl
Guides. He was [insert age; probably 69].
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Out of my cold, gelled
hands
Posted 01.17.16
ROSS MURRAY
It was painful hearing Barack
Obama dance around the issue of gun ownership at his town hall meeting
last week. The U.S. president had to come across as anti-gun but not too
anti-gun. It was like watching a dad tell the kids he's super-chill but,
hey, rules are cool, yo!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
The element in the
room
Posted 01.10.16
ROSS MURRAY
Scientists recently discovered four new
chemical elements. It's unclear to me whether these elements already
existed but hadn't yet been tracked down or whether the scientists
created them, God-like, out of thin air by toying with the very fabric
of the universe, a sentence that often ends with " -- and then
things went horribly, horribly wrong."
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
New Year's Resolutions --
or questions
Posted 01.08.16
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC
| I had little success in convincing my granddaughters that New Year's
resolutions are appropriate -- or helpful.
My year in
review
Posted 01.03.16
ROSS MURRAY
January: My peace mission to
Syria was fraught with complications after my seeing-eye Pomeranian was
seized at Customs for violating national thresholds of froufrou-ness.
This was followed by further scurrying about and logistical
recalibration after I realized I was not in Syria but Sarnia. Thanks a
lot, Google Maps!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Tolerance
resolution needed
Posted 01.02.16
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The New Year's resolution is a tradition in our democracy.
Given some of the events and words spoken in 2015, I think a resolution
for 2016, based on Tolerance, might be appropriate.
AMERICAN DESERT
DAYS PART 3
Posted 12.30.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We were headed to the Pipe Spring National Monument almost two
hours away in Arizona. This small facility, 40 acres, is administered by
the Park Service and has a long history, which includes the Paiutes
Indians, Spanish explorers, and Mormon pioneers.
About our new kitchen
counter
Posted 12.27.15
ROSS MURRAY
And it came to pass in those
days, that there went out a decree that a new kitchen counter would be
installed a week before Christmas. And all were on board, each in his
own way, because it was a professional doing it and not Dad.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
How do you rate
America?
Posted 12.20.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We Americans claim that we have the greatest democracy that the
world has ever seen. We refer to the high principles enunciated in the
Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. And we suggest that
the rest of the world follow our lead.
Save
Rooney
Posted 12.15.15
ROSS MURRAY
When I was in Grade 11 there
was -- how shall I say -- an incident. It involved the high school band,
an overnight stay, a third-floor window, and some water balloons. It was
not the perfect crime.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Looking into the genetic
crystal ball
Posted 12.07.15
ROSS MURRAY
When I was quite young, I
watched The Illustrated Man on television in the middle of the
afternoon. It terrified me, and not just because it starred a mostly
naked Rod Steiger. Among other things, the film hinted at the end of the
world, depicted the mercy-killing of children and showed one character
bashing another's head with a rock. Worst of all, if you looked deeply
into the empty space of one of Steiger's tattoos ("Not that empty
space, a little to the left."), you could see how you would die.
This raises the question: where was my mother and why was she letting me
watch this trash!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
TRUMPWATCH 2016: MARCH TO
OBLIVION
Posted 12.03.16
JIM AUSTIN
PUTNEY, VT |
Trump's current parade of Fox hosts and lunatic fringe element
contestants for his cabinet is chilling. The Donald is handling his
appointments like a cheesy game show host. Most unappealing is the
lineup of lickspittle former critics of Trump who are now panting for a
cabinet post.
50 phrases I didn't
hear on my 50th birthday
Posted 12.01.15
ROSS
MURRAY
"How lucky to have been born in the sixties but have
absolutely no memories of them."
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
AMERICAN DESERT
DAYS PART 2
Posted 11.29.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Our itinerary said that this was "a dramatic flightseeing
excursion" and it was. We flew over the Canyonlands National Park
where the Colorado River doubles back on itself several times, as shown
in the "Badlands." In a moment of geologic time the river will
break through the low spot in the picture center and change course once
more. We dodged the peaks of the Escalante and Henry Mountains, and had
a great view of the Waterpocket Fold and other sandstone formations.
Without oxygen our planes had a height limit of 10,000 feet and the
mountains were over 11,000. The terrain was varied to say the least;
changing every minute.
Stop the sky from
falling
Posted 11.23.15
ROSS MURRAY
We're sitting ducks, I tell
you. Blind. We're gambling with our lives, like blind ducks -- blind
ducks sitting at a roulette table where the prize is also a duck. But
this isn't about ducks. It's about the lax astronomy that puts our lives
at risk every single day and most nights as well.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Refugee report
from one German city
Posted 11.21.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Freiburg has taken in 5000 refugees in the last year, which
amounts to 2 percent of our local population. This even though Freiburg
has a housing shortage that is the worst in Germany, based on percent of
income devoted to housing costs. We are getting an additional 150
refugees per week. But it is working out.
A country of
migrants
Posted 11.19.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
We are a country of migrants; everyone or their family came
from somewhere else. Even the American Indians migrated, just earlier
than the rest of us.
Hello, Drake? It's
Adele.
Posted 11.16.15
ROSS MURRAY
My daughter Abby looked up at
me, puzzled, appalled. "How do you know that song?" she asked,
which, now that I think about it, might have been code for, "Please
stop singing that song." "I'm hip. I'm cool. I know
Drake," I said.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Why your next employee
should be a former non-athlete and probably the one after that
too
Posted 11.10.15
ROSS MURRAY
Employment-wise, it's a dog-eat-dog
world out there. And why are the dogs eating dog? Because they're out of
dog food. But surely they could they eat something else, like garbage.
Dogs eat garbage all the time. Good dogs, bad dogs, they can't get
enough of garbage. Why do dogs have to resort to gobbling other dogs?
The answer, you probably don't know, is that dogs are delicious. Dogs,
strangely enough, do know this.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
AMERICAN DESERT
DAYS
Posted 11.09.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The train from Chicago, the
California Zephyr, was a half hour late arriving in Grand
Junction, CO. We missed the sunset, but the sky was clear with plenty of
daylight. We located Rob and his black Suburban in front of the train
station; and he took us to the Red Cliffs Lodge in Moab, Utah.
The
Egging
Posted 11.02.15
ROSS MURRAY
Troy "The Boil"
Doyle blamed society. Consequently, he felt justified in being a jerk,
and there was no better time to let your jerk flag fly than Halloween.
The little reprobate took full opportunity of the holiday to soap,
smash, TP and make smaller kids cry through trick or treachery.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Remembering Hallowe'en with
Longie of Murder, Incorporated
Posted 10.31.15
RON
COHEN
NEAR
WASHINGTON CD | Up to the Penthouse I go -- because I couldn't reach the
top button, Uncle Sam punches it and slips out before the elevator door
closes. Longie answers the doorbell in a red smoking jacket.
"Whaddya want, kid?"
This is an excerpt from Ron Cohen's
forthcoming memoir, "Of Course You Can Have Ice Cream for
Breakfast: Love Letters to My Grandkids". Cohen retired after four
decades with United Press International and Gannett News Service, and is
the author of the award-winning "Down to the Wire: UPI's Fight for
Survival."
Night train to
Hog Butcher
Posted 10.30.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Bernie, our faithful limo man, let us out right in front of
Union Station to catch the 4:05 p.m. Capital Limited to Chicago. Cars
and seats were assigned based on destination; this all took ten minutes,
max. No TSA agents, no scanners, and no pat downs were endured
US Congressmen should
live in Washington
Posted 10.28.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
It appears as if Paul Ryan is going to be Speaker of the House
of Representatives. In his pronouncements about the speakership, I think
that he exemplifies one of the things wrong with the Congress.
We are all 50 together
forever!
Posted 10.27.15
ROSS MURRAY
Now that the federal election
is over and we've wiped the rabid foam off our television and computer
screens, we can all stop pretending we know what we're talking about and
get back to what's really important in this country: my
birthday.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Raise the US gas
tax
Posted 10.22.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The cost to improve our
America's highways by making all investments with a positive
benefit-cost ratio would have been $161.7 billion in FY 2014. This cost
will grow to $184.2 billion in five (5) years. So far, Congress has done
nothing.
What to do in the event you
wake up Tuesday morning and Stephen Harper is still Prime Minister of
Canada
Posted 10.17.15
ROSS MURRAY
While it may be difficult to
differentiate Liberals from Conservatives, note that Liberals will have
glazed, stunned expressions on their faces and be walking in a daze,
completely susceptible to others' commands -- in other words acting
completely normal. Gently take any lost Liberals by the hand and settle
them under the nearest tree and tell them everything will be okay. If
you're charming and good looking, they'll believe you.
Ross Murray is
a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
I feel inspired! Let's have a
drink.
Posted 10.14.15
ROSS MURRAY
There was a time when I felt
it would probably be a good idea if we let our local SAQ [QCbooze store]
clerk know we were going on vacation; you know: so he wouldn't worry
about us. This is what happens when you live in a one-hooch town, where
there's only a single place to buy your wine and booze unless you cross
municipal boundaries or state lines.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Tuesday, 2:46
p.m.
Posted 10.5.15
ROSS MURRAY
I heard on the radio that men and women
dream differently, especially their nightmares. Women have bad dreams
about interpersonal relationships. Men dream about disasters and
external threats. Great. Now even my dreams aren't manly enough.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
For pennies
more
Posted 09.25.15
ROSS MURRAY
HEY THERE! Get the freshest,
sleekest, wordiest Ross Murray with Ross Murray Premium! No more
interruptions like this one in the middle of wonderful heartwarming
stories, like the time everybody accidently ate a whole tub of Noxema
and nearly died. And it was all because of the cats! Oh, those cats!
Always trying to kill us. Heartwarming and wonderful and nearly
fatal!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Recalling your
life
Posted 09.23.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Looking back at life, it's
strange how all the pieces come together. There is a myth that in our
last moments our lives pass before our eyes. Unfortunately, no one has
ever come back from the dead to tell us whether or not this is
true.
U-turns at the halfway
house
Posted 09.15.15
ROSS MURRAY
We are now one child away from
having an empty nest -- only it's not so much a nest. More like a
temporary storage facility. If the imaginary volcano in our backyard
were to erupt and spew hot ash over our lot in life, future
archeologists would conclude that there were 3.89 people living in this
house. They'd also wonder what kind of crazy people would let their cats
outnumber them.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
D-I-Y equals Madness,
I say
Posted 09.10.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | After visiting the Home
Depot store just off St-Jean Boulevard in Pointe-Claire, I am always
amazed at how deeply the do-it-yourself culture has permeated our lives.
I enjoy looking at all the possibilities I have of becoming a carpenter,
a plumber or an electrician, but that's not what I am. To tell you the
truth, I don't think I have ever tried to fix anything that I haven't
then had to completely take apart and start over. I am really no good at
it.
Take Back America: Can
you Trump this?
Posted 09.7.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
In the U.S. we have many people enthusiastically supporting
Donald Trump for president. The Donald claims that he will make America
great again.
Back to School Lunch
Time
Posted 09.5.15
ROSS MURRAY
It's Back-To-School time, and you know
what that means. Surrendering your child to teachers, who everyone
agrees 100-percent-no-question do the most noble job in the world,
though, sure, there are bad ones, just like there are incompetent
doctors or "too gropey" masseurs, and this is your child we're
talking about after all, so you can never 100-percent-no-question give
your child's teachers the benefit of the doubt, but still you don't want
to let on because, you know, why make your kid a target, which is why
you wear that silly grin on Parent-Teacher Night?
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Illegals? Refugees?
What's in a name?
Posted 09.1.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
In the United States we do not seem to have any
"refugees" or "migrants". We have "illegal
immigrants" or "illegals", and too many of them,
according to The Donald and other presidential candidates.
Four things God wants you to
know about your car
Posted 08.31.15
ROSS
MURRAY
Balanced on the deck of a carved wooden boat on the top of a
toilet tank at a pitstop in Newfoundland, there was a small pamphlet.
The cover announced, "Four Things GOD Wants You to Know." I
didn't get a chance to read the full pamphlet because it wasn't that
type of pitstop.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
A perfect day in
Maine
Posted 08.29.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Each summer I go to Maine
for a week. The ocean has a Zen-like effect on me. As I say to my
American cousins: "First there is a sandbar, then there is no
sandbar, then there is." And because they are baby boomers, they
get the Donovan reference. The ocean is a healing place. Just the smell
of the air alone is worth the seven-hour drive. I sit and watch the tide
come in and then go out, all the time blissfully aware that I am
breathing.
Just a little kindness, my
dear
Posted 08.26.15
ROSS MURRAY
SOMEWHERE IN NEWFOUNDLAND | During our
last two weeks in Newfoundland, I saw moose, caribou, hares, shooting
stars, an iceberg, and an old man's white rump.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
The Shakuhachi journey
continues
Posted 08.24.15
JOHN MAHONEY
.
John Mahoney is the
publisher of the Log Cabin Chronicles. This is the second in a projected
series on his Shakuhachi journey.
His column archives: Click Here
In Canada, I could get
used to Prime Minister Mulcair
Posted 08.21.15
RICK
BLUE
MONTREAL | There was an article in the National Post recently
about how Tom Mulcair mortgaged his house many times. I imagine the
implication was that if he became Prime Minister he might mortgage our
country many times as well. The charge that the NDP is a spendthrift
party is not new. But that was not what interested me. It was that the
house was in Beaconsfield, not far from my own. It even gave his address
which I thought was a bit unfair. Next they'll be giving out phone
numbers.
Chaos in
Paradise
Posted 08.20.15
ROSS MURRAY
SOMEWHERE IN NEWFOUNDLAND |
People like the edges of things. Newfoundland is all about the edges,
the seacoasts that positively shout,"How's she goin', baey, I'm
rugged."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Bomb
Iran?
Posted 08.15.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
According to the Washington Institute, Iran's current lead time
to develop a nuclear bomb, Breakout Time, is three months (1). And it
could be less. Also, Iran has developed the Shahab-3 medium-range
ballistic missile, which has a range of 1,200 miles, which is the
distance from Tehran to Tel Aviv.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Could Canadian senate
scandal really be work of mastermind Prime Minister
Harper?
Posted 08.07.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Over the last nine months it
has been informative to read journalists report on the scandals of the
[appointed] Canadian Senate. It is not just the facts of the cases; it
is the mood of their reports. They seem to all contain a sense of
overwhelming disgust and weariness. As if the whole thing is a
depressing exercise in human failure.
There is no "I"
in "ego"
Posted 08.02.15
ROSS
MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | At the school where I work, the staff
sometimes organizes games against the students. If anyone asks me why I
don't participate, I'll explain, "I have a medical condition."
If they press me further, I'll say, "I'm allergic to
humiliation."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Ahhh, summer
evenings
Posted 07.28.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | So I walk out of my
surburban house on a sweet summer night. And I have to stop. I have to
ask myself: "What am I feeling? And why?" There is something
sensual about a summer night. I was going to say "erotic," but
I realize this is a family section and -- never mind, too
late!
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
THE FINAL DAY
Posted 07.22.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The Viking Pride got underway as we were eating breakfast on
Day 6 of our trip. For a change of pace, I had my first Eggs Benedict of
the trip; they were delicious.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Ankle-deep in marriage
ROSS
MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | My wife and I cringe as we tiptoe onto the
first step of our swimming pool. We're up to our ankles, and that's
where we'll stand for some time, because it's scientifically proven that
cold water is way colder than it used to be.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
With my luck I'd only be
maimed
Posted 07.22.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Knowing
how you're going to die would be terrible -- for the insurance
companies. If people knew for sure they were going to slip away in their
sleep, for example, why would anyone bother taking out accidental death
protection? But if you knew your fate was to die, say, in a Cuisinart
explosion, you'd likely take out a whopping accidental death policy,
which, of course, would make it all worthwhile. Either way, the
insurance companies would lose money, and we can't have that.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Montreal's Empty Nesters:
The Big Question
Posted 07.19.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Here, empty nesters
find themselves asking the inevitable question: Do we stay in the West
Island or move?
A toast to
Fifi
Posted 07.15.15
RON COHEN
NEAR WASHINGTON CD | Every July 14,
Bastille Day, I raise a glass of vin ordinaire to Thelma V.
Allen.
This is an excerpt from Ron Cohen's forthcoming memoir,
"Of Course You Can Have Ice Cream for Breakfast: Love Letters to My
Grandkids". Cohen retired after four decades with United Press
International and Gannett News Service, and is the author of the
award-winning "Down to the Wire: UPI's Fight for
Survival."
Unfriendly grammar
tips
Posted 07.14.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | How do you know
whether to use "which" or "that"?
Ross Murray is
a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
A RENDEZVOUS WTH MONET
Posted 07.13.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Day five of our trip was the highlight for many of our fellow
passengers; it was a full day excursion to the D-Day beaches of
Normandy.When many Americans think of Normandy, D-Day is what comes to
mind.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Montreal anglos know
the power of irreverence
Posted 06.29.15
RICK
BLUE
MONTREAL | And another thing I noticed about life in Montreal
not long after I arrived here as an anglophone is the importance of our
local Jewish community. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that,
being a minority in Quebec, regulated by discriminatory laws meant to
render us invisible because we are considered a "threat," and
constantly in danger of losing our national identity, we anglos are all
Jews here in Quebec.
With my luck I'd only be
maimed
Posted 06.27.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Knowing
how you're going to die would be terrible -- for the insurance
companies. If people knew for sure they were going to slip away in their
sleep, for example, why would anyone bother taking out accidental death
protection? But if you knew your fate was to die, say, in a Cuisinart
explosion, you'd likely take out a whopping accidental death policy,
which, of course, would make it all worthwhile. Either way, the
insurance companies would lose money, and we can't have that.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
In Canada, NDP leader
Thomas Mulcair will have to deal with the Clarity Act issue in the
coming federal election
Posted 06.19.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The Clarity Act
is a bulwark against the duplicitous strategy the separatists have been
using for the last forty years. It states that the government of Canada
will not negotiate the succession of a province unless a referendum
provides a clear majority to a clear question. It strikes at the
very heart of the separatist ruse. Separatists claim that a majority of
50-per-cent-plus-one is enough to break up the country. That means they
think they can start a new country even if 49.9 per cent of the
population is against it. Imagine the chaos that could ensue? The
Canadian government would be forced to protect Canadian citizens in
Quebec. Partition would surely be a given.
Inequality
Posted 06.17.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The federal government of the United States is projected to be
a $3.9 trillion operation in fiscal year 2016. This makes the Executive
Branch of federal government the largest organization in the world with
almost three million civilian employees; uniformed military are not
included. Not counted as employees are the 10.5 million contractor
employees that, according to Rep. Stephen Lynch (D-MA.), work for the
federal government.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Sometimes I answer
questions
Posted 06.16.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | What
advice do you have for the Class of 2015? Walk through life like
you're carrying two cups of hot coffee.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Weighing in on
lobsters
Posted 06.09.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | We had
planned to have lobster for Mother's Day, but I didn't reserve the day
before as Deb had suggested, and then a shipment failed to arrive in
Magog, causing a run on lobsters at the Stanstead store -- or, more
specifically, a scuttle on lobsters. Either way, no lobsters for
Mother's Day. My memory is vague but I believe I ate crow.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY:
AND ON TO ROUEN
Posted 06.04.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
One of the first treats was passing through the locks at Notre
Dame de la Garenne. These river boats are designed to just fit into the
locks; there was about a foot clearance on each side. The dam linked to
the locks had seven weirs to control river flow; these are gates between
the towers in the photo. One fed a hydro generation station but there
were no above-ground high tension lines visible.
Frank
Bernheisel's column archives: Click
Here
Cruisefunding
Posted 05.31.15
ROSS
MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Later this year, my wife and I will
celebrate our 25th anniversary. I think we can all agree she deserves
something nice. For many years, Deb has said she would love to go on a
cruise. And not just any cruise. An Alaskan cruise. That's Alaska, USA,
by the way, not Alaska, Greece or Alaska, Barbados.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: A
RENDEZVOUS WTH MONET
Posted 05.27.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The Monet paintings in the house were copies; the originals are
in museums to keep them from being damaged. Monet's amazing collection
of Japanese woodblock prints was still in the house and many had faded.
We were told by our Paris guide, Thierry, to make sure we visited the
kitchen of Monet's house; it was great.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
From Paris in style
and comfort, on a canal boat
Posted 05.22.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
On the internet it seems like everyone wants to sell Paris. We
looked at hotels, tours, and packages. Then I received a special
eight-day river cruse from Viking for a river cruise starting in Paris,
right near the Tour d'Eiffel. Kathy and I signed up and left for Paris
on May 2.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Go to university --
why do it?
Posted 05.21.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The value of a college
education has skyrocketed since I went to university. That is, in
monetary terms. I am not so sure whether its value has increased in
human terms.
The only workout you'll never
need
Posted 05.20.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | In the eleven years
I've been writing this column, I've received hate mail only two times.
These being Townships readers, though, it was more like strong-dislike
mail. Peevish mail, tops. The first was when I suggested that curling,
like golf and bowling, was a game that improved with drinking. I realize
now that such a statement is ridiculous; I forgot darts. The second
angry letter came when I wrote about my two older daughters having taken
up rugby.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Working on the
railroad
Posted 05.16.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Kathy and I were scheduled to go to New York from Washington
for my granddaughter's, graduation. We had tickets on Amtrak Northeast
Regional run at 8:10 on Saturday morning. Tuesday evening the Northeast
Regional went off the rails and crashed. Eight people were killed. The
railroad is closed and we've made other arrangements.
Frank
Bernheisel's column archives: Click
Here
The only workout you'll never
need
Posted 05.12.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | One of the main
reasons people avoid going to the gym is because gyms are
stupid.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Pants, or Don't get your
nickers in a twist, eh?
Posted 05.09.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Recently I was in
Napoli, Italy. And one day, as we walked down its version of
Ste-Catherine Street, we couldn't help but notice that every men's
clothing store we passed featured a whole new look. They are called
men's harem pants, or "drop crotch" pants. The crotch is down
around the knees, and from the knees down, the pants are skin
tight.
A kick in the
aphorism
Posted 05.04.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | If you're
in search of inspirational quotations, the Internet is a source of
infinite examples, along with infinite accompanying photos of sunrises,
seascapes and rainbows. Strangely, you rarely see an inspirational
message paired with a photo of a cup of coffee, which really, most of
the time, is all the inspiration any of us need.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Flute Pilgrim,
Shakuhachi Wanderer
Posted 04.29.15
JOHN
MAHONEY
I
came under the spell of the shakuhachi some 45 years ago, during the
same period that I was introduced to Zen Buddhism and the teachings of
Shunryu Suzuki Roshi by Mark Abrams, one of my photography students at
Goddard College in Plainfield, Vermont. I shall be forever
grateful.
John Mahoney is the publisher of the Log Cabin Chronicles.
This is the first in a projected series on his Shakuhachi
journey.
His column archives: Click
Here
Art: Recent
Acquisitions
Posted 04.28.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Gallery
Parsnippy is delighted and positively damp with pleasure to present new
artistic works this spring.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Austerity is upon us.
But who is to blame?
Posted 04.23.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The time of
austerity is upon us. Why now? Whose fault is it? Well, consider this.
There was a time back in the day when politicians were famous for buying
votes. But they would buy them individually. "Hey buddy, here's a
fiver, go and vote for (name of local strong man)."
Musings on the
Middle East
Posted 04.22.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The United States has been involved in the Middle East and
North Africa for its entire history. Cast your mind back to high school
history and you will remember the Barbary Pirates and the Barbary Coast
Wars; one in 1801 and the other in 1815. These activities essentially
led to the development of the U.S. Navy. (The Barbary Coast includes
Algiers, Tripoli, and Tunisia.)
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Time stands still in a
book
Posted 04.21.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | The strangest thing
happened to me the other day. Well, maybe not the strangest thing. The
strangest thing would be if a pie plate floated into the room and
started singing show tunes in the voice of Abe Lincoln.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
She couldn't just get a
T-shirt...
Posted 04.14.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Jail, was
my first thought. His Europe-jaunting sister Katie is in jail. Midnight
Express, Turkish prison. Or even midnight prison, Turkish express. Or
maybe she got married. To a Turkish prison guard. At midnight.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
It would be nice if
Canada was as independent-minded as Barbados
Posted 04.08.15
RICK
BLUE
MONTREAL | Recently I was in the United States, and an American
came up to me and asked: "Why do you Canadians have pictures of
Helen Mirren on all your money?" Of course he was joking. But in
some ways we might as well have a picture of actress Helen Mirren on our
money. She's British. She has never lived in Canada. She is acting out
an anachronistic role. And she has very little to do with our
lives.
Basketball &
Son
Posted 04.07.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | I'm watching
basketball right now. There have been a couple of times in the past when
I should have been writing but, you know, there was a basketball game
on. So tonight I figured, why not watch this Toronto-Houston game and
write. That's good time-management, and exactly how my son James does
his homework.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Vacation
envy
Posted 03.30.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | My wife and I were
discussing whether envy could be positive. She was of the mind that envy
could be a motivator, that seeing what others have can spur ambition. I
felt that the resentment inherent in envy undermined any positive
outcome. After all, envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, not one of the
Seven Really-Not-So-Bad Sins.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer
living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
We could have died out
there
Posted 03.21.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | It was
shortly after I said to Deb, "We should have brought a
compass," that I began to wonder who would eat whom.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Opportunities missed can
define your life
Posted 03.26.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Interesting how a
life can take turns. How opportunities can be missed -- and how that can
define the rest of your life.
It does take a village to
raise a child
Posted 03.16.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | MONTREAL | It
started as an "Aw" moment. I received a text out of the blue
that said simply: "I love you, Dad."
Equal Justice Under
American Law?
Posted 03.14.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
US General Petraeus is a smart and capable guy. But General
Petraeus screwed up. And it looks like he will receive a slap on the
wrist.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
IGA equals It's Gone
Away
Posted 03.10.14
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | You don't
understand. This is about more than our only grocery store changing
ownership. It's about more than the parent company Sobeys demoting our
local IGA down to a second-tier Marché Tradition because there
aren't enough clients to support the IGA brand. It's about more than the
fact that too many people on this side of the border shop in the United
States. It's not that.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Bill C-51: The 'C' Stands for
Conniving
Posted 03.02.14
ROSS MURRAY
Canada's proposed
anti-terrorism law, Bill C-51 ("The 'C' Stands for 'Could Happen'
") is receiving wide support across the country. There are some,
though, who say it doesn't go far enough, while others feel the Harper
government is both exploiting and propagating a climate of fear. I feel
the bill doesn't go far enough in defining how fearful I should
be.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can
be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Alan Turing,
and early computing
Posted 02.28.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
In 1960 I graduated from George Washington University with a
degree in Mathematical Statistics and went to work for the UNIVAC
Division of Sperry Rand. I was immediately sent to classes to learn to
program the company's scientific computers, Univac 1103 and Univac 1105.
We learned binary machine language and assembly language to program
these machines. We also learned the history of the programmable digital
computers.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Summer is not a season,
it's a place.
Posted 02.19.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I just returned
from a tour of Florida, Texas and Arizona with the Canadian Snowbirds
Association. Apparently, it was a good time to go. Montreal, and indeed
the whole northeast, is experiencing another one of the kind of winters
for which we are famous.
A reading from the Book of
Recycling
Posted 02.17.14
ROSS MURRAY
And perched upon their blue
bins in the field, the people did cry out, "O, Master, show us the
true path of recycling. Tell us what is pleasing in your sight and what
must be cast into the abyss of municipal landfill. And the rolling out
of the wheely bins, we beseech you, be it the second Friday of the month
or the third? We can never remember."
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Katie's Adventure in
Europe
Posted 02.08.14
ROSS MURRAY
"You should have brought
a deck of cards," my wife said on the way to the airport. Deb did
the Europe thing twenty-five years ago with a friend, almost at the same
age and along the same route that our middle daughter Katie was set to
embark on.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
A US
Government service, well run
Posted 02.03.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Living here in Washington DC we hear from Congress and others
that the federal government is staffed with quot;bureaucratsquot; who
are perpetrators of quot;waste, fraud and abuse.quot;. We hear that we
should be quot;Running government like a businessquot; from such leaders
as John Kasich, Rick Scott, and Nikki Haley.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
If the freedom to
insult is left only to comedians, is it really free?
Posted
02.02.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | After the recent Paris murders, there was
much discussion on Facebook about whether freedom of speech should be
limited by the duty to never insult anyone. The immediate controversy
was stirred by the reluctance of many periodicals and TV outlets to not
show the cartoons that were the cause of the murders. Their reasoning
was that it would insult other Muslims. But those of us who practice the
art of comedy know full well the value of insults. In fact, there is an
entire genre of offensive material known as "insult jokes."
And the publication in question, Hebdo Charlie, made full use of
it.
Cheap shots: photo booth
memories
Posted 01.28.14
ROSS
MURRAY
Parent-wise, there are certain things I've done a reasonable
job of avoiding, mall-wise: gumball machines, claw machines,
coin-operated hippos, lingerie shops, and photo booths.
Ross Murray
is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
The new woman is a man
-- at least on Netflix
Posted 01.26.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | There is so much
that can be learned from Netflix. And I am not just referring to the
documentaries. For years now in dramatic TV series, writers have been
creating crusty but benign, imperfect but fiercely moral male leading
characters who struggle to balance their jobs as heroic protectors of
society with the chaos of their personal lives. They still write those
characters. But now they are women.
Ebola at the Canadian
border
Posted 01.18.14
ROSS
MURRAY
The
World Health Organization pleaded with countries not to bar visitors
because it would only compel them to find non-official routes into the
country, unmonitored, and next thing you know we have body parts falling
off in the streets and only Brad Pitt can save us. But Canada has turned
away nearly 180 people so far and is not the compassionate country I
grew up in, your polite approach to border security notwithstanding, Mr.
Customs Officer.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
An Obama war on
coal?
Posted 01.13.15
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The coal-mining industry seems to be a tight little club where
mines and staff are rotated around to confuse the opposition. Also,
while mines get citations and fined, they just keep on operating. Recent
data from MSHA indicates that the nine most delinquent mines owe fines
of more than $1 million each and mines that don't pay their penalties
have injury rates 50 percent higher than those that do.
Frank
Bernheisel's column archives: Click
Here
Le stuff, c'est
moi
Posted 01.08.14
ROSS
MURRAY
We
own things not simply to survive but sometimes just because. The
post-Christmas hangover is a good time to look at this proliferation of
stuff, much of which we really don't need, a lot of which is plain crap.
The only purpose it serves is to define who we are, both as givers and
getters.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
In the heart of winter, we
seek to light up the night
Posted 01.03.15
RICK
BLUE
MONTREAL | I felt it begin a couple of months ago as I noticed
the days getting shorter. I realized that I had to replace lightbulbs
that had burned out in rooms that I normally only used during the day,
now that the day was becoming more and more dark. And lightbulb
replacement isn't as easy as it used to be. There are so many different
kinds and sizes of halogen bulbs that I had to go to Reno-Depot with the
old bulb in my pocket.
I left my fudge in
church
Posted 12.28.14
ROSS
MURRAY
Last Sunday morning, it's possible a member of your
congregation may have found a small piece of fudge wrapped in a napkin
in the back of one of the pews. If that's the case, then you probably
already know about it. I know if I found someone's discarded dessert in
a hymnbook holder, I would be all, "Hey, stewards! Some schmuck
left sugar in the sanctuary." And the stewards would be like,
"Say it, don't spray it," because stewards are funny -- in a
good way, of course.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
What to do about
[dirty] coal
Posted 12.24.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
"There's a War on Coal " was a rallying cry from
Mich McConnell in his bid for re-election. However, there should be a
war on coal because coal is dirty. Unfortunately, people in the industry
will be out of a job if the coal mines and fired power plants are shut
down.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
The Christmas
parcel
Posted 12.16.14
ROSS MURRAY
The parcel, I know, will be a
box wrapped in brown paper and taped up like a hostage. We'll have a
team of Navy SEALs on standby to breach the packing tape if need be. Our
address will be clearly marked on the paper. When we penetrate the paper
and packing tape, the address will also be written on the box
itself.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Like animals, we are
products of our environment
Posted 12.14.14
RICK
BLUE
MONTREAL | Most of us are well aware of the shortcomings of our
species. History is full of horror and folly. But I prefer to accentuate
the positive. We have many accomplishments. And I am grateful for them.
Then again, I live in the suburbs, not the city.
U.S. Priority Number
One: Pass A Budget
Posted 12.09.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
In 1974 Congress passed The Congressional Budget and
Impoundment Control Act, which established the federal government's
fiscal year as the 12-month period beginning on October 1 and ending on
30 September of the next year. We are now over two months into fiscal
year 2015 and there is no Budget. Congress has not passed the Budget
before October first since before 2000.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
The meatloaf, and the
ruination thereof
Posted 12.06.14
ROSS
MURRAY
And
we must ask ourselves, what is the meatloaf? Be it meat or loaf? The
French declare it to be pain de viande, which translates as "meat
bread." Does this settle the question or confound, for how can
bread -- cherished dual conveyor of hand-held meats -- also be the meat?
Should we not instead call it buche de viande? Should we perhaps not
have translated the French at all, especially now that we know that
buche de viande means "meat log"? C'est possible, mon cher
lait de pouleu.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Forever 41: A Company
Prospectus
Posted 11.30.14
ROSS MURRAY
Forever 41 is a clothing and
lifestyle retailer for people who grew up in the eighties wishing they
were growing up in the sixties and are glad they aren't growing up now.
Tapping into that nostalgia for feeling nostalgic, Forever 41 espouses a
retail attitude that is fun without being silly, serious without being
boring and edgy without staying up too late. At Forever 41, we provide
fashion makeovers for those who don't know what to make of themselves.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be
reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Picking losers, and
winners
Posted 11.28.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
In 2011 Solyndra, the solar panel manufacturer, went bankrupt.
Normally this would not be big news, however Solyndra had received a
loan guarantee from the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE) for a $535
million loan and DOE would lose money. Needless to say, the
anti-government types went ape.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
25 Reasons dogs are better than
people
Posted 11.23.14
ROSS MURRAY
Dogs are always excited to see
you, even if you've been gone for only five minutes.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Revisiting your past for
meaning
Posted 11.16.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | As my generation ages I see
how our common interest in the past increases -- at least our past.
There are Facebook pages, school and family reunions. Somehow we would
like to contact the past one more time, hoping that it can throw some
light on what has happened to us since. Or perhaps to give the dramatic
arc of our lives some meaning.
Am I
stupid?
Posted 11.13.14
ROSS MURRAY
It's important to check
whether you're stupid, because if you are stupid, you might want to
avoid certain activities, like operating heavy machinery, running for
office or using social media. You might also want to avoid sporting
events or using a handgun or parenting, unless youÕre counterbalanced by
a spouse who is not stupid. She will let you know.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
ON TO
DRESDEN
Posted 11.11.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The Journey Continues: The Fontane had docked at night. In the
morning we could see that we were right on the edge of the old city of
Dresden, within easy walking distance to many attractions. After
breakfast we did a coach and walking tour of the city with a local
guide. Almost all the damage to the central city from the WWII bombing
by the British and Americans had been rebuilt
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Cleaning out the
garage not always easy -- or straightforward
Posted 11.09.14
RICK
BLUE
MONTREAL | It's that time of year again. The icy claws of
winter are about to grab me around the neck and squeeze. I can feel
them. And so there is an annual task with which I am once again
struggling.
Phook, Phline, and
Phsinker
Posted 11.03.14
ROSS MURRAY
This is one of the more
embarrassing things I've done -- at least one of the more embarrassing
that I can write about in a public forum. That thing with the parakeet
and the margarine -- that's not getting airplay anytime soon. But this,
there may be a lesson in here, so I feel the need to spill. I have no
excuses for what I did, but I'm going to make them anyway. I was tired.
I had a lot on my mind. I was in a rush. We had recently made some
changes to our Bell account. Our credit card had acted up at the gas
station the night before. It was a perfect storm of stupidity.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
FROM MAGDEBURG TO
DRESDEN
Posted 10.28.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The Journey Continues: On Sunday morning, the full touring
group of 112 travelers set out in three coaches; we were informed that
coaches are different from buses because they have a bathroom. The group
came from America, Australia, England, and Scotland. We left the Hilton
Berlin headed for the Viking ship, Fontane, in Magdeburg, which
is almost 100 miles from Berlin.On the way to Magdeburg we stopped in
Potsdam and toured the Schloss Sanssouci -- our first of many palaces --
which was built by Frederick the Great in about 1750.
Frank
Bernheisel's column archives: Click
Here
Smoke
Defective
Posted 10.24.14
ROSS MURRAY
The smoke detector went off
just before 3 a.m. and I leaped out of bed like it was an Olympic event.
If there had been an actual fire, the tumultuous flapping of the
blankets would have fed the flames to a frenzy.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
In praise of anecdotal
evidence
Posted 10.21.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | As we enter our brave new
world of secular science, there is one thing that bothers me. It is not
the loss of the spiritual, or the dismissal of magic that can take away
all our poetic wonder. It is the minimization of our individual
experience. Or, as it is often referred to in a derogatory manner,
"anecdotal evidence."
Back to Berlin, and
beyond
Posted 10.10.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
I was last in Berlin in December 1950 as an American military
dependent high school senior from Wiesbaden to play football. It was one
of those grey north German days with snow showers and a little over a
year after the end of the Berlin Airlift. This past September I came as
a tourist on a glorious fall day with blue sky and bright
sunshine.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Acting. My
age.
Posted 10.07.14
ROSS MURRAY
At one point in this play I'm
rehearsing, I have to make a leap. It's not a dance leap, not a
plié. More like a pàté. A gristly splat. The
springing is okay; I can still spring. It's the landing that's rough.
Not right away -- I'm in the moment, in character, and he don't care
about no stinkin' bruises. But later, and the next day, oooh, it feels
like a sacrifice for my art.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Why You Drive So
Loud?
Posted 10.01.14
ROSS MURRAY
O, tender youth with ball cap
perched, And moustache like a wisp of dirt --
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Call me Mr.
Polyester
Posted 09.29.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | When I was younger,
polyester was a joke. It was what old people wore.
On dying and
dignity
Posted 09.26.14
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC
| Canada's doctors proposed at the their annual convention this summer
that euthanasia be left to individual doctors. Those who disagree with
assisted suicide would not be required to assist their patients. Sounds
good and democratic -- for doctors.
Fred Ryans column
archives: Click Here
The cellphone
holdout
Posted 09.24.14
ROSS MURRAY
An acquaintance reacted to
news that I don't own a cell phone with the combination of ridicule and
disbelief normally reserved for people who vote for the Green
Party.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
From Newfoundland --
Greetings from George Street
Posted 09.21.14
RICK
BLUE
MONTREAL | It's Saturday night on George Street, in St. John's,
Newfoundland. It's 11 o'clock and the small street, only a few blocks
long, is beginning to cook. There are twenty-five pubs and they all seem
to have live music.
Buying dirty
books
Posted 09.16.14
ROSS MURRAY
The last thing you expect when
you go to Old Orchard Beach in Maine on the long Labour Day weekend is
to keep your sanity. The second-last thing you expect, among the
tourists, souvenir shops, fried-everything stands, and carnival rides,
is a book store. But there it is, right on the strip.
Ross Murray is
a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Where does the money
go?
Posted 09.15.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
According to the U.S. Census,
the median family income in 2012 was $51,371.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
WE INHABIT A BRAVE NEW
PLANET
Posted 09.10.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | "Hey, if you happen to
see the most beautiful girl in the world..." These words from a
country song by Charlie Rich in 1974 reveal a phrase that I grew up
with. The phrase is: "In the world." This phrase pretty much
described all we knew.
Bye Bye
Beardy
Posted 09.03.14
ROSS MURRAY
It's been facial trauma, I
tell you, ever since I shaved my beard off last week. I walk by a mirror
and instead of my usual "Hey there, handsome" it's "Aggh!
Who are you?" And then I remember it's me, only smoother.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Dear President
Obama
Posted 09.02.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
My, how things have changed since 2009. You came to the
presidency with broad support as a president of peace, determined to get
our military out of Iraq, to finish the war in Afghanistan, and resolve
the country's domestic problems (there were several). Fast forward --
many on the home front are unhappy with you, or worse. Abroad, the
situation is dire, which is why I write.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Happy Hour at the Sand
Bar
Posted 08.30.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | It is the morning after the
storm. Last night the wind and the rain were pounding on the windows and
the roof. Someone said it was a nor'easter. That brought about the
philosophical question, can you wear a sou'wester during a
nor'easter?
Watching China
Watch
Posted 08.29.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Today's China Watch above-the-fold front-page story is about
the 'Comfort Women' that were captured and forced to provide sex to the
Japanese army during World War II. Estimates of the number of Comfort
Women ranges between 100,000 and 400,000 and included women from Korea,
China, the Philippines, the Dutch East Indies, and
elsewhere.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
House of
strippers
Posted 08.26.14
ROSS MURRAY
What I learned at the hardware
store this week -- besides the realization that a career as a
paint-colour namer is my roller not taken -- is that late August is not
the time for home renovations that I thought it was.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Quiet
Hours
Posted 08.20.14
ROSS MURRAY
I want to be buried in one of
those deep-sea diving suits, the metal kind, like Sylvester the Cat
might wear in some over-complicated and ill-fated attempt to eat
Tweety
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Uniforms? We don't need
no stinkin' uniforms!
Posted 08.10.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | One question I
would ask is this: Do they [cops] really have the right to enforce laws
dressed like that? Could a citizen who received a $165 ticket for not
making a complete stop from a guy wearing camouflage pants and a red hat
successfully contest that ticket in court?
Reform taxes
now
Posted 08.01.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Until 2007, the US economy
grew pretty well each year with growth staying above four percent per
year or so. The chart below shows clearly the impact of the Great
Recession. As we have heard from our leaders and our wonderful media the
growth since coming out of the Great Recession has not been that great
-- the preliminary data for 2014 shows zero (0) growth. The House of
Representatives needs pass a bill to change the tax system to stimulate
growth.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Yoga
A-Go-Go
Posted 07.29.14
ROSS MURRAY
I clicked on a photo this week
of actor Alec Baldwin's wife striking a yoga pose in order to roast a
marshmallow on the beach while bent over backwards. I regret
nothing.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Tournament weekends are
rough in the end
Posted 07.24.14
ROSS MURRAY
For years I bought into the
myth. I even preached it myself. "I'm so glad my kids are into
basketball instead of hockey. It's so much cheaper. All they need is a
ball and a pair of sneakers and they're good to go." Well, that's a
lie.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Notes from the Nasty
Show
Posted 07.22.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | What is interesting is that
it is usually the older folks who object to this form of entertainment.
They were raised under a value system that was traditional. One which is
fast fading into the past. Young people have no problem with it. In
fact, they crave it.
That religion
test
Posted 07.18.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Recently, five justices of the
Supreme Court held that for-profit corporations have a right to
religious freedom that trumps individual religious freedom. Further, the
Court held that the Greece, NY Town Council can begin its governmental
sessions with sectarian Christian prayers overriding the religious
freedom of the assembled citizens.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Google's got
me
Posted 07.15.14
ROSS MURRAY
It is with great pleasure and a scoop
of ice cream on the side that I announce today that I have been acquired
by Google.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
Conscience, Choices, and the US
Constitution
Posted 07.05.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The Supreme Court in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. threw
out a lot of smoke. It elaborated on its opinion that corporations are
persons so that now corporations have religious beliefs. Worse than
that, corporations have religious rights. Also, that the religious
beliefs and rights of corporations take precedence over the rights of
employees.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
An Idea For Canada
Day(S)
Posted 07.02.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I travel quite a bit in this
country and spend far too much time in hotel rooms. But what I like to
do while I am there is watch the local news of whichever city I am in. I
find that I can learn a lot about a place by its local news
broadcast.
Who wants to play
Cake-tionary?
Posted 07.01.14
ROSS MURRAY
The children get bowls of
icing to decorate their own cupcake. But wait. There's also a lazy Susan
loaded with gobs of candy and sprinkles that the children can use to
garnish their cupcakes. They can pile on as much as candy as they want!
And then we send them home to their parents.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Let us now praise little
sandwiches
Posted 06.18.14
ROSS MURRAY
Is there a more perfect food,
in circumstances that require as many fingers free as possible, than the
little sandwich? Finger sandwiches, they call them, and not without
reason.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
TENNIS,
ANYONE?
Posted 06.16.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The scoring in tennis is
like the scoring in life. The idea that you accumulate points over a set
time on a clock and win or lose on that basis is a less realistic way to
see things. Life constantly gives you second chances.
Carbon taxes,
and why
Posted 06.11.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
This [carbon] pollution is a negative externality -- that is,
it is a cost imposed on the whole of society and not just the individual
who consumes a certain product. For example, if you drive a car, the
pollution generated in building and driving the car affects everyone,
drivers and non-drivers alike.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Creativi-Tips are like
Q-Tips for your brain!
Posted 06.09.14
ROSS
MURRAY
Creativity is not a tap you turn on and off. Creativity is not
something that takes four to six weeks for delivery. Creativity is not a
sack filled with live eels that someone dropped on your doorstep knowing
full well your intense fear of eels and burlap. In fact, creativity is
not a lot of things too numerous to mention.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Westfalia, like nouveau
hippiedom, is not an option
Posted 05.29.14
ROSS
MURRAY
I
was walking through town on the weekend when I noticed a Volkswagen
Westfalia for sale -- old, drab, not the least bit sexy, and the van was
pretty unspectacular as well. "We should buy it," said Deb,
who usually doesn't take much interest in these things (and, again, to
be clear, I'm talking about the van). But Westalias are
different.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
A brief note on
Memorial Day
Posted 05.27.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Memorial Day in the US was created to honor the Civil War
dead.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
When Pigs Do
Fly
Posted 05.22.14
ROSS MURRAY
I can count on one hand the number of
trips I've taken by airplane. It helps that I have six fingers, but
that's not the point. The point is that because I'm relatively unjaded,
I still approach air travel with a mixture of awe, trepidation, and
general mistrust.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Old MacDonald had
a life, SEO-E-O
Posted 05.13.14
ROSS MURRAY
What is every North American's
dream? Long lustrous hair that flows in slow motion like a summer
breeze, of course. But the other dream is to be number one at whatever
it is we do. And the one thing that everyone does is exist.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
The struggle of
this century
Posted 05.12.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I am worried about
the environmental movement. I think they may have painted themselves
into a corner.
My full
report
Posted 05.06.14
ROSS MURRAY
Sat at every stop sign for a
full five seconds to compensate for individuals/drivers who do the
slow-and-go. Balance restored in this small corner of the
universe.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC.
He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
See anyone you
know?
Posted 05.05.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The U.S. Department of Education has released a list of
fifty-five colleges and universities that are under Title IX
investigation. The fifty-five higher education institutions are
currently under review by the department's Office for Civil Rights for
allegedly mishandling sexual assault and harassment on campus in
violation of the gender equity law Title IX.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
The play was a
'three'
Posted 04.28.14
ROSS MURRAY
I've spent so much time
watching our children play sports that sitting down to watch the
youngest do theatre took some acclimatizing. How many quarters are
there? How long is halftime? How do you know who wins?
Ross Murray is
a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Quebec grows up at
last
Posted 04.25.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | There was a time when being
cool was everything. You didn't have to have much of anything else, as
long as you had that -- you were in.
Going on Nineteen
Years
Posted 04.24.14
JOHN MAHONEY
COBDEN,
ONTARIO | The daily Log Cabin Chronicles is now in its 19th year
on-line.
Bathed in Bubba's
tears
Posted 04.23.14
ROSS MURRAY
It was clear by the 17th hole
that, barring an unthinkable collapse, Bubba Watson was going to win the
2014 Masters. And yet I stuck it out, not necessarily to watch the
conclusive putt but because I wanted to see if Bubba would once again
weep like an emotionally fragile bridesmaid. He did not
disappoint.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Not-so-good
reads
Posted 04.15.14
ROSS MURRAY
We're still three months away
from Summer Beach Reading Season, but you don't have to wait that long
to read the books that everyone else is reading because other people
told them to read them and you should too. That's because it's Spring
Snow Bank Reading Season!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Guaranteed
annual income and universal draft, for all
Posted
04.10.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In Switzerland, a group called Generation Basic
Income has gathered more than the 100,000 signatures necessary to put a
ballot initiative before the country's voters. If passed, the initiative
would amend Switzerland's constitution to guarantee every citizen a
yearly unconditional income.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Quebec grows up at
last
Posted 04.09.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I always found it ironic
that the Parti Quebecois claimed the 'Yes' side in their separation
referendum. They are the ones who reject the status quo. They are the
party of the 'No.'
Home alone -- with
pets
Posted 04.02.14
ROSS MURRAY
Whatever you do, don't compliment dads
on their parenting skills. I've read a couple of moms who have been
outraged -- outraged, I tell you! -- because their menfolk were publicly
commended for parenting tasks such as tying their daughters' braids or
attending their kids' school events or not driving away with the baby on
top of the car, basic stuff like that.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Remember the
old coat hanger days
Posted 04.01.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
According to the Supreme Court, abortions are legal in the
United States and they should be available, safe, and infrequent. Both
Justice Kennedy and I are old enough to remember when the only option
was a coat hanger.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
The ten-year column: Now
with extra self-indulgence!
Posted 03.25.14
ROSS
MURRAY
I
can't believe I was only 19 years old when I started this column. How
young I was, not to mention firm, fit, and at my textual peak. As you
can see from the headshot accompanying this column, the last ten years
have been exceedingly rough on me, which probably means I should ask for
a raise, if for no other reason than to afford some judiciously applied
Botox.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He
can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
A small price to
pay for fairness
Posted 03.23.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
I just bought a new Dodge Caravan to replace the 1997 Caravan
with 160,000 miles. The new one cost $22,000 including taxes, etc. The
new Caravan was assembled in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. I purchased the
Caravan though a dealer and talk about a big waste of time -- but I
digress.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Blame
Canada
Posted 03.12.14
ROSS MURRAY
With this winter showing no
inclinations of ending anytime soon, I think we can add "polar
vortex" to the category of "Phrases We Could Have Lived
Without."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead,
QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's
column archives: Click Here
Oh yay...tougher
language laws
Posted 03.03.14
ROSS MURRAY
Clearly, Quebec's language
laws have been too lax of late, as evidenced by people more or less
getting along (unless you're unfortunate enough to be wearing a hijab).
Instead of taking the broad view, a majority PQ government is likely to
narrow its focus on language. Yes, a more narrow-minded approach is
exactly what we need.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Bad Drugs Equals
Health Problems
Posted 02.24.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Recently, I was reading the labels on the containers of the
pills and other medicines that I take and have taken. Most of the
vitamins, medicines (those with 'real' labels and not just the pharmacy
label) say "distributed by" but not where they are made. The
aspirin says "Made in Canada," and some of the supplements are
labeled "Made in USA." None of the pharmaceuticals have origin
labels. Is this a problem?
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
Sleeping on
it
Posted 02.17.14
ROSS MURRAY
I keep a pen and paper at my bedside
for when I come up with some brilliant idea as I float between sleep and
wakefulness or in case I want to write down a dream. For example, one
night not long ago I dreamed that the military had devised a weapon
called Pleasure Popcorn that clung to people like that annoying packing
Styrofoam and in doing so induced waves of ecstasy so strong that it
left the enemy incapacitated, though presumably quite satisfied.
Ross
Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached
at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column
archives: Click Here
If a skier falls in the
forest, does it make you laugh?
Posted 02.10.14
ROSS
MURRAY
What I like about the solitude of cross-country skiing, then,
is that hardly anyone sees you fall on your face. There's my wife, of
course, but she's used to seeing me fall on my face, literally and
metaphorically.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Flooding oceans
deep and stormy. And expensive.
Posted 02.07.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
The waters are definitely rising -- in the 20th century the sea
level rose about 20 centimeters or eight inches. Scientists say that
this rise is a major factor in the damage done by storms like Katrina,
Irene, Isaac, and Sandy.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
End NFL tax-exempt
status
Posted 01.27.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
Tax earmarks are essentially tax increases for everyone who
doesn't receive the benefitÉin this case, working Americans are paying
artificially high rates in order to subsidize special breaks for sports
leagues. This is hardly fair.
Frank Bernheisel's column
archives: Click Here
You had me at
"psychopath"
Posted 01.30.14
ROSS
MURRAY
In
fact, I considered acting as a career until I realized I'd have to spend
a lot of time around actors. That's not as mean as it sounds. I was and
am an introvert at heart. For actors, everything is huge and broad and
arms in the air. I discovered I couldn't pull that off for long periods.
I also discovered that there were other ways to get girls, so naturally
I put acting aside.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Don't support Iran
Sanctions
Posted 01.27.14
FRANK
BERNHEISEL
If Iran develops nuclear weapons, its neighbors will feel that
they need them also. These would include Turkey, Saudi Arabia, and
Egypt. This proliferation would increase the likelihood of nuclear
material and eventually weapons falling into the hands of terrorists.
The negotiated resolution has the potential for a solution and deserves
support.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here
Answers from the press
conference
Posted 03.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
"Well, obviously we would
have liked things to go a little differently out there today. We came
prepared, we had the training, all the robot warriors were in place, but
sometimes there are things you can't control, like the weather and
gastrointestinal discomfort. I'm proud of the work we did. I don't think
anyone should hang their head. Hold their nose, maybe, but definitely
not hang their head."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living
in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Steal this
nap
Posted 05.03.16
ROSS MURRAY
What happened to naps? One minute
you're snoozing at daycare, and the next they're pumping you full of
coffee in grade school. Or least that's how things worked where I went,
at Sacred Palpitating Heart Elementary.
Ross Murray is a freelance
writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
Prefrontal cortex means sound
judgement -- you think?
Posted 01.20.14
ROSS
MURRAY
The
prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that decides good from bad,
socially acceptable responses from unacceptable responses, Coke from
Pepsi, and so on. Scientists tell us that this part of the brain does
not fully mature until age 21 to 25. Actually, scientists didn't tell us
this directly but wrote it on a Post-It and left it on our desk. So shy,
those scientists.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in
Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
You get the quest of my
love
Posted 01.10.14
ROSS MURRAY
Things were simpler before they
invented love. Once upon a time, if a young man was interested in a
young woman, he would simply seek out the girl's father and say,
"Do you mind?" The father would say "Be my guest,"
and everyone would walk away happy. Not the girl necessarily, but this
was also long before they invented equality.
Ross Murray is a
freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at
Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here
PREVIOUS COLUMNS ARE ARCHIVED HERE
Home | Features | Fiction | Poetry | Old Columns | Opinion
Copyright © John Mahoney 2021 /Log Cabin Chronicles
1.20 |