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It's a Wonderful Soap: Looks delicious
Posted 12.6.19
ROSS MURRAY
Donning my traditional Christmas shopping outfit (elf shoes with bells; tights; that's it), I set out on the weekend to look for gifts at some of the holiday markets that pop up this time of year. I entered the first church basement and began to circulate, making sure to not make eye contact with the vendors who stared like rabid, bloodthirsty hounds -- but in a good way.

HOMAGE TO CATALONIA: DAY FOUR
Posted 12.2.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Plaça shows the two things that are ubiquitous in Barcelona: motor scooters and construction cranes.The Plaça is Barcelona's most central area and a favorite meeting place for locals and visitors and connects the Eixample and the old town. There are six sculptural groups around the plaza: representing the four Catalan capital cities, wisdom and labor. In the center of the picture is the monument by Josep Maria Subirachs for Francesc MaciàÕ, president of the Catalan Government during the Second Spanish Republic (1932-1933).

On American Income Inequality
Posted 11.27.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Recently the Census Bureau reported that income inequality in the U.S. is at its highest point since it started collecting data more than 50 years ago, according to Census Bureau numbers. The census reported income overall increased by 0.8 percent from 2017 to 2018 to a median household income of almost $62,000. (Note: In 2018 the median individual income was $39,048 or $19.14 per hour for a 40 hour week, which indicates more than one individual working in each family.) Even though the income increased, it was not distributed evenly.

HOMAGE TO CATALONIA: DAY TWO
Posted 11.22.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Thursday was the last full day of our stay in Barcelona, and we were on our own until dinner. Kathy, Mary and I decided to walk in a different neighborhood and visit the Casa Batlló Gaudi. Dave had a painful leg due to a banged shin and chose to give it a rest.

Barr. None.
Posted 11.21.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Yesterday when I was driving around running errands, I listened to CSPAN radio. They were broadcasting a talk that Attorney General William Barr was giving to the Federalist Society. The same Federalist Society that has been vetting judges for President Trump to make sure that only conservatives get to be federal judges.

Yoga: Self-Taught
Posted 11.17.19
ROSS MURRAY
I can do this, except I call it "tripping." I begin by finding a quiet place. There is snow on the ground, so that means the neighbours have decided the street is a snowmobile drag strip; there is no quiet place. I reach deep within myself to find a centre of calm and deep within the drawer to find a pair of earplugs.

HOMAGE TO CATALONIA: DAY TWO
Posted 11.12.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We walked back to the hotel to meet Mary and Dave and go to dinner at a small tapas place they had picked out. We sat at a tall table that made a triangle with the tables along the walls. In the corner was a couple so enamored with each other that I thought they might make love right there.

The show was not enough to distract me from the excellent tapas and wine.

HOMAGE TO CATALONIA: DAY ONE
Posted 11.6.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
It was a Sunday afternoon here in Virginia when Bernie picked us up and deposited us at Dulles Airport a good two hours before our 5:40 p.m. flight to Barcelona, where we would meet brother Dave and his wife Mary. We checked in, all was good, and people started to board. Then, we heard the announcement of an engine problem; it would be fixed in 45 minutes. At 10 p.m. we were back home -- the flight was cancelled. Next day, we were placed on the 5:40 p.m. flight.

And so, finally, off to Catalonia...

How to write a humour column
Posted 10.27.19
ROSS MURRAY
The first ingredient of a humour column is the idea. Ideas can come from anywhere, although most often from Bangladesh where idea labour is cheap. Many people frown on sweat-shop ideas, but remember that if it weren't for these idea jobs, those people would be forced to work in fields with no ideas at all, like the US film industry.

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go...
Posted 9.26.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Since 2008 the U.S. coal production has generally moved down as can be seen in the Energy Information Agency (EIA) chart below. The reason for both the increase in production and the decrease in employment has been increasing productivity due to technology in the industry.

So your roommate is feasting on your soul!
Posted 9.13.19
ROSS MURRAY
Welcome, students, to another exciting year in residence! Living in rez is just one of the many amazing aspects of university life, and, working together in a supportive, positive, inclusive atmosphere, we can make it a super-memorable experience for all!

Sharks are the least of your worries, Mom
Posted 11.1.19
ROSS MURRAY
Before Deb and I left (alone!) for our vacation in New Brunswick, my mother sent an e-mail warning that sharks now frequent the Bay of Fundy, our destination, including great white sharks, even in shallow water. Also, there are seahorses now, which, by the way, awwwwwww!

IS THE AMERICAN DREAM DYING?
Posted 8.29.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL

All ABBA All The Time
Posted 8.24.19
ROSS MURRAY
The first album I ever bought was by Valdy, a barely remembered Canadian folk artist, and it wasn't even the album with that one hit. I have no idea what prompted me to buy it. I mean, Side 1 was live. Live! Live folk music! CHICKEN KILLING AND SUCH
Posted 8.12.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
President Trump recently ordered ICE to raid seven Mississippi plants owned by four companies -- Peco Foods, Koch Foods, PH Food and Pearl River Foods. The ICE raids arrested 680 gainfully employed workers who were undocumented migrants to this country.

A letter from your university development office
Posted 7.22.19
ROSS MURRAY

Dear alumnus/alumna/aluminum: Here at Ross Murray University, as we lounge in our yak-skin recliners vaping with impunity, surrounded by floodlit portraits of our beloved founder in various states of undress, we think of you, our former student, as you make your way in the world. We think about your time here at good ol RMU. We wonder if that rash ever went away. We ask ourselves: got any money?

ON U.S. FEDERAL LAND MANAGEMENT REORGANIZATION
Posted 7.19.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
I have read several articles about the Administration proposing to reorganize the Interior Department, including the one in yesterday's Washington Post, on moving the management of the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) out of Washington to western states. As a dedicated user of our public lands, National Parks, Wildlife Refuges, National Monuments and including undesignated lands under BLM for hiking, camping, education, and just enjoyment, I object. I object for several reasons, including:

Posted 6.30.19
ROSS MURRAY
Your Middle-Age Guide to Grunting
Grunting: Not Just for Tennis Players Anymore

Welcome to middle age, a beautiful time of life when your body is going through many changes, all of them accompanied by sounds you had no idea you were capable of.

On China Trade
Posted 6.14.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Ms. Barshefsky discusses China's entry into the World Trade Organization (WTO) and how the U.S. failed to utilize the WTO to its benefit, trying instead to work with China on a bilateral basis. She also discusses the impacts of the U.S. mismanagement of the Great Recession of 2008 on the relations with China and their attitude toward the U.S.

On Citizenship
Posted 6.5.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
During his campaign in 2016, Donald Trump promised to make a huge, HUGE investment in infrastructure and that the private sector would invest through public-private partnerships. Well nothing has been done in the last two years on infrastructure.

On CitizenshipPosted 4.26.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Most Americans were born in the United States, and are citizens automatically, as is specified in the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, which states: All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. Others, who were born elsewhere, can become citizens through naturalization. Being born here is easier.

Disaster scenarios ranked by my chances of survival
Posted 4.21.19
ROSS MURRAY
Zombie Apocalypse: When the flesh-eating hoard inevitably swarms my home (hopefully, at first, making quick work of the neighbours who are always outside yelling and drinking and therefore easy prey), I stash myself in a virtually unfindable location, my small frame allowing me to squeeze into tight spaces and my years of playing hide-and-seek with the children informing me as to where those tight spaces are.

Show some respect
Posted 4.12.19
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QC | Can't we finally acknowledge that climate change is moving faster towards us than expected -- and that there are measures we can take to combat (and adjust to) it?

We need to vote
Posted 4.11.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We the People have elections coming up in 2020 and some states, like Virginia have elections this year, so let's get active. Let's support organizations that are working for election changes, which accomplish the above changes; let's support candidates that articulate the equal vote goals; let's talk to friends and neighbors; and let's VOTE.

The Haskell and The Beatles: In Search of a Meeting That NeverÊHappened
Posted 4.3.19
ROSS MURRAY
It's strange to get excited about something that didn't happen, but for more than 40 years the Stanstead/Derby Line border communities have transformed an event that almost occurred into the stuff of myth: a planned meeting at the Haskell Free Library and Opera House between the former members of The Beatles that ultimately didn't take place.

On Immigration
Posted 3.27.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We hear a lot of political talk about illegal immigration and there is a lot of misinformation on the subject, everywhere. So first I would like to summarize the Immigration Reform and Control Act, enacted November 6, 1986, and signed into law by Ronald Reagan on November 6, 1986, which reformed U.S. immigration law.

My March Madness take (since nobody asked)
Posted 3.23.19
ROSS MURRAY
March Madness basketball is upon us, and as in recent years, I will not be tuning in to the national college tournament because I have no cable, nor will I be following online because I try to restrict my screen time to hating myself for scrolling through Twitter.

Guaranteed Annual Income
Posted 3.19.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
When looking to our Founding Fathers for guidance today, we should include Thomas Paine. Paine was American political activist, philosopher, political theorist, and revolutionary. His ideas reflected Enlightenment ideals of transnational human rights, particularly those of John Locke.

Hello, hot sauce, my old friend
Posted 3.1.19
ROSS MURRAY
It's not like we haven't cleaned the fridge in 20 years. We changed refrigerators at some point in there, so that mean's it's been sorted through at least once. No, I'm quite certain that our refrigerator has undergone frequent if unscheduled cleanings and/or purges.

All shook up about childhood movie trauma
Posted 2.21.19
ROSS MURRAY
Who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to take me to see Earthquake when I was 9 years old? And when did I start sounding like a grandmother who uses phrases like "who in their right mind"?

US Social Security Reform
Posted 2.18.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
I worked for a salary for the 55 years of my career. Every month my employer deducted payroll taxes from my paycheck. (The current numbers are: 6.2 percent for Social Security and 1.45 percent for Medicare.) My employers paid taxes equal to the amounts withheld from my earnings. If I made more than the maximum taxable ($127,200 currently), there was no Social Security tax on the extra income. However, there is no maximum to the Medicare tax.

Finding Inner Peace By Not Giving A Flying Fig About Professional Sports
Posted 2.11.19
ROSS MURRAY
Hello, brother. I couldn't help but overhear you on this beautiful morning yelling at that squirrel about NFL officiating. If you would stop kicking gravel at the pigeons for a moment, I feel I can help you. Come, sit with me on this bench. Let me move my half-eaten Reuben sandwich. Mind the dill...

Why I Get Up At 4 AM Every Day
Posted 2.4.19
DR. SEAN P. MAHONEY
HINESBURG, VT | I am asked almost daily, "What time do you get up in the morning?" When I answer 4 a.m,, most people tell me they could never do that. I didn't always get up that early either. I used to be a 6 a.m. guy and would sleep in on the weekends.

Listen to your heart and other body parts
Posted 1.18.19
ROSS MURRAY
When I was initially recovering from prostate surgery, the common advice I got from people was, "Listen to your body." This was not, of course, in a literal sense, although that could be fun too. ("Hey, kids, come here and listen to my body!") Instead, it was about allowing my body to dictate what I should be doing. So I took that advice, and in those first days following surgery, what I mostly heard my body saying was, "I don't like this."

ABOUT THOSE MIGRANTS
Posted 1.5.19
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Illegal immigration into the United States ha,s been steadily declining since 2007 as shown in the chart from the Pew Research Center. In 2015 there were about 43.3 million foreign-born people living in the U.S. of whom about half are naturalized U.S. citizens. Only about one quarter of the foreign-born, 11.1 million are unauthorized migrants according to Pew Research Center, and 75 percent are here legally.

How to take care of yourself
Posted 12.29.18
ROSS MURRAY
I recently came to a conclusion: Donald Trump gave me cancer.

All I Want for Christmas is No Tube
Posted 12.14.18
ROSS MURRAY
I decided to phone the North Pole myself and speak to Santa Claus, who had removed my sugarplum, but all I reached was his personal elf. "There must be a mistake. That's like three and a half weeks wearing a garland," I said. "Am I on some kind of Naughty List?"

The elf explained to me that, no, it was simply that Santa Claus was on vacation.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Don't Feel Powerless in the Face of Racism
Posted 12.5.18
ABBY MURRAY, GRADE 12
Stanstead College ~ Stanstead, Quebec
I work at the Haskell Free Library. It is built right on the Canada-US border, so there are lots of cameras and border agents, both Canadian and American. One day, while I was working, two Mexican families came to visit each other, one from Canada, the other from the US. Since they couldn't cross the border, they came to the library just to talk for a couple of hours.
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

One More Night, Gimme Just One More Night
Posted 12.1.18
ROSS MURRAY
The last thing I want is to be a bore. (Not true; the last thing I want is another biopsy, but I think I made that pretty clear already.) However, I did leave my post last week on a bit of a cliffhanger, so I thought I would give an update on my medical progress before returning to regular programming.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

FRANCE ~ PARIS: DAY FIVE
Posted 11.25.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We woke up in our nice bed and breakfast in Concale to a pleasant, sunny day; and we were in Brittany -- Bretagne to the French and Breizh to the Bretons. Brittany is the western most region of France with a population of over 3 million. It forms a triangle poking out into the Atlantic; referred to as Finisterre or End of the Earth.

I have cancer
Posted 11.23.18
ROSS MURRAY
It's rare you can put your finger on the precise moment your life changed. In my case, it involved an actual finger.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

What about Autumn?
Posted 11.21.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Autumn 2018 is/was the time for the U.S. elections and the airwaves and print were filled with propaganda, lies, and some information. If you got caught up in this Party-generated game, you could have believed that this game defined Autumn. But, you did not have to get caught up in the game: handicapping winners and losers, collecting stats, predicting outcomes based on polls, etc., and buying into a party line.

FRANCE ~ PARIS: DAY FOUR
Posted 11.11.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The TGV was smooth and comfortable and at times reached 200 MPH; there was a speed display at the front of the car. The full trip of about 220 miles took us an hour and a half. Things were going great until the train station in Rennes, which was under serious reconstruction. This caused difficulty finding the Hertz office and subsequently finding the car. This took at least 45 minutes, and then we were off.

Does One Vote Matter?
Posted 11.7.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
On January 4, 2018, the race was decided by a coin toss and...

FRANCE ~ PARIS: DAY THREE
Posted 10.31.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
As I get older, I find that it is harder to remember things -- names are the worst. In doing my trip write-ups, I rely on photographs to remind me of where and when. On Day 2, I took the photo below at Notre-Dame; but it was on Jon's camera, so I lost the memory until a couple of days ago.

FRANCE ~ PARIS: DAY TWO
Posted 10.21.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We started the day with a nice breakfast buffet at Hotel du Parc. Then we set off on a beautiful sunny day to find the Metro station on Boulevard Raspail, and then to figure how use the Metro to get around in Paris. It was easy; the fare card machines were simple, and the maps and signs were clear.

Free Press Threatened
Posted 10.14.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The current news is full of stories about the possible murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a prominent journalist who was seen entering -- but not exiting -- the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul last week. But Khashoggi is not alone.

FRANCE ~ PARIS: DAY ONE
Posted 10.11.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
It was early Sunday morning when Julie, Jonathan, Kathy and I disembarked at Aéroport de Paris-Charles-de-Gaulle and made our way to find a taxi. The airport seems to be continually under construction, based on our recent trips. As we neared the exit, wondering what to do, we spotted a Viking Tours booth. Given that we were going to take a Viking cruise later in this trip, I figured that they could help us. They did; the lead staff walked us to the taxi area and found a taxi large enough for the four of us plus four large suitcases. We loaded and were off to Paris.

Oh, let's be regionable!
Posted 9.30.18
ROSS MURRAY
When I first moved to Quebec's Eastern Townships, I was thrilled to learn that there was a CBC Radio network dedicated to serving the English community outside Montreal. It wasn't long after this that I learned that CBC referred to all these non-Montreal places as "the regions."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

How did this happen
Posted 9.24.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
As I've previously mentioned, I went to high school in Wiesbaden, Germany, arriving there in June 1948. The devastation was horrendous; piles of rubble where large apartments had been, smelled of the dead in the summer heat, and there were millions of Displaced Persons (DPs) in camps. This experience generated the question that I have studied all my life: How did these really smart, cultured and accomplished people go off the deep end and create this mess?

Thanks Canada
Posted 09.8.189
Robert Meadows (Circuit Court Judge, Florida) wrote: "Have you ever stopped to consider how lucky we Americans are to have the neighbors we have? Look around the globe at who some folks have been stuck sharing a border with over the past half century..."

Need to Prevent Kavanaugh potential law damage
Posted 8.24.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
I am of the opinion the Bret Kavanaugh will be even less constrained by 'settled law' than Justice Scalia. My opinion was reinforced by the piece by Arthur Alschuler in this morning's Washington Post, about one ruling that Bret Kavanaugh made as a justice on the US Court of Appeals, which over turned 'settled law'.

Opposing Kavanaugh's appointment
Posted 8.15.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Packing the courts with people with known and narrow political biases is not in the interest of the United States, a country with a diverse population. The nomination of Judge Kavanaugh is an example of this packing and his vetting by the Federalist Society is an example of how the packing process works.

Political Drumbeats
Posted 7.25.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The July 18 Gallop poll, indicates that 22 percent of Americans say immigration is the country's most important problem. Immigration replaced "Government", which had been the top problem in polls since January 2017.

1868
Posted 7.23.18
ROSS MURRAY
1968 (MCMLXVIII) was a leap year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar. It was kind of a big year for Debbie Bishop.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Letter from my family doctor
Posted 6.27.18
ROSS MURRAY
"Unfortunately, due to family and personal reasons, I must close my clinic at the end of August 2018. I will be moving my medical practice to Abitibi, specifically the emergency room in the hospital at Rouyn-Noranda. I will remain responsible for your medical dossier in the coming years."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

O Canada, O Deficit
Posted 6.15.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Saturday, June 9 President Trump declared: "If they retaliate, they're making a mistake."

Books, in a selfie way
Posted 5.4.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Our reading group has a couple of classics on our upcoming list to read: Utopia by Thomas More and Demosthenes, which is one of Plutarch's biographical sketches. Neither of these is in our library.

Song for Municipal Workers
Posted 5.31.18
ROSS MURRAY
There are potholes aplenty just outside my house...
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Make American Schools Great Again
Posted 4.28.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
My take on the learning of primary and secondary students is that we have been shorting the public school budgets for years.

Thoughts on Enlightenment
Posted 4.20.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Many of the ideas and accomplishments attributed to the Enlightenment were developed prior to the period we call the Enlightenment. Contributions were made during the Renaissance and within organizations throughout Europe, including the church. Human beings have worked on governance throughout history, and what we have is a continuum. As far as we know, because we rely on the written word, it started with the Greeks: Pythagoras, Plato, etc.

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 15 ~ VISITING SLANO AND MOSTAR
Posted 4.12.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
La Perla's course from Korcula took her southeast along the Peljesac peninsula. The peninsula is over 40 miles long and the isthmus that joins it to the mainland is five miles wide. It is part of Dubrovnik-Neretva County, the southernmost part of Croatia. The county is broken in two by a 12-mile stretch of Bosnia-Herzegovina, which provides their only access to the sea.

How to fight inertia, sweatpants, and go out dancing
Posted 4.10.18
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | My getting ready to go out face. Tweety is my wingman.

1. Are you already in sweatpants? Did you take your bra off? It's too late. You will not go dancing. Inertia has won. Start again.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The U.S. 2020 Census ~ Action is Needed
Posted 4.7.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The 2020 Census is fast approaching and is currently being given a test run in Rhode Island. At this late date, the Trump Administration and Congress have decided to play games with the decennial count of people in the U.S. required by the Constitution.

Scenarios in which I, Ross Murray, might conceivably need a gun
Posted 3.31.18
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | 7. I need to provide food for my family, and all the grocery stores have been shut down due to an outbreak of e-Cola, the "New Live-Bacteria Beverage That's A Real Fresh-Maker!" but actually turned out to be a real death-maker, and so with no provision for provisions, I have to take to the woods (but not before letting my food-deprived eyes linger hungrily over the cats, until I recall what I've previously seen those cats licking)...
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 14 ~ A DAY IN TINY KORCULA
Posted 3.26.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
The Bura wind was still blowing when La Perla got under way at about 6 AM. The Bura makes for sunny, cool days on the Adriatic Sea. Our destination was the town of Korcula, which shares its name with the island. We arrive in the port of Korcula about 10 AM to find one of the smallest villages we had visited. We had an our tour of the town, which only took maybe 15 minutes to walk around. However, the pace in Korcula was slower than any other towns we visited, so maybe 25 minutes.

The Wearing of the Ochre, or Happy St. Pablo's Day!
Posted 3.24.18
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | I recently received the results of my ancestry DNA testing, and in addition to 70 percent of my genetic roots originating in Great Britain, and Scotland, I was very excited to learn that 12 percent of my genetic makeup springs from the Iberian Peninsula! I was even more excited after I looked at a map and found out exactly where the Iberian Peninsula is!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

All cluttered up and no place to go
Posted 3.13.18
ROSS MURRAY
When our son came home for his break, he began to chuckle as he looked around the kitchen, as if it were all strange to him. And that was his point: everything was strange.

"You ever look at the things in this house and wonder why they're there?"
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 13 ~ A DAY AROUND HVAR
Posted 3.11.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
This morning we sailed from Split to the island of Hvar and the town of the same name -- a journey of about 40 miles. It is a very small town with about 3,500 inhabitants -- the island has about 4,700. The town of Hvar has a lovely, sheltered harbor, which was welcome because part of the "ride" over was pretty rough. A couple people complained of being seasick. Not surprising since the Bura wind was pretty strong until we got on the lee side of the island.

Prom Duress
Posted 3.8.18
ROSS MURRAY
I am currently on my third daughter in search of a prom dress. It's February. The prom is in June. I point this out, but Abby looks at me like I know nothing. It's the usual look she gives me these days, but in this case she backs it up with fact: "This is the time you get your dress, Dad." I can't argue with that.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Withdraw sponsorship of pro-bank coddling bill
Posted 03.7.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
It is clear that the practices of banks and financial institutions were responsible for causing the Great Recession and despite the obvious malfeasance of the bankers in this, no one went to jail. Now, Senator Kaine, you propose to take away bank oversight. You claim that the small banks in Virginia need help but that does not appear to be true.

YOUR ANCESTRY
Posted 3.3.17
DAVE LEPITRE
Dave's latest Your Ancestry column is posted regularly on the LCC. More people looking for ancestors...today: Border Marriage Laws in the past.

THE ICE WAS TWO FEET THICK, THE WATER COLD, BUT A LOT OF FUN WAS HAD BY ALL

GORDON ALEXANDER
NEWPORT, VERMONT | During Winter's last gasp at the end of February, some 75 avid winter swimmers -- all members of the Memphremagog Winter Swimming Society -- hung out, wetly, in a two-lane 25-meter pool chainsawed out of the ice just offshore from the Eastside Restaurant hereon Lake Memphremagog.

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 12 ~ ON TO SPLIT
Posted 2.27.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
The Greeks established Solona, about two miles from Split, as a colony in the 2nd Century BCE. Salona became the capital of the Roman province of Dalmatia because it sided with Julius Caesar in the civil war against Pompius and Crassus in 54 BCE. Salona was largely destroyed in the invasions of the Slavs in the seventh century CE, and the refugees from Salona settled inside Diocletian's Palace in what is now Split.

Is reading overrated?
Posted 2.23.18
ROSS MURRAY
Chances are if you're reading this that's all you're doing. You might be eating breakfast or possibly doing a chore. Maybe you're folding laundry and glancing back and forth at these words. If so, you're not giving it your full attention, so you might miss the part where I mention the lima beans, and later when I refer again to the lima beans, you'll have no idea what I'm talking about.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 11 ~ LEAVING OPATIJA
Posted 2.17.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
On part of the journey over the mountains, we passed near the birthplace of Nikola Tesla. His name had come up several times already during the trip because Croatia claims him. It took a look at Wikipedia to understand the claims about Tesla's nationality. It turns out he had Serbian parents. His father and both of his grandfathers were Serbian priests.

Ludis Verus*
Posted 2.16.18
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | It makes me gag when columnists and TV sports show pinheads ignore the world's greatest sporting event. Nationally known sports guys Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon only give cursory coverage to the Olympics all the while bloviating about the possibility of their favorite baseball teams getting a high draft choice. Even Gaye Desveaux, local gasbag and columnist for the Possum Tussle Monitor, cannot bring himself to mention the Olympics.

Death Goals
Posted 2.10.18
ROSS MURRAY
"What do you want to do," I asked Deb, "when you die?"
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 10 ~ DOING THE ISTRIAN PENINSULA
Posted 2.8.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
Another lovely autumn day with sun and cool temperatures. We were picked up by the coach for a tour of the Istrain Peninsula, which is the largest peninsula in the Adriadic, and is triangular. The towns at the angles are: Savudrija, Opatija and Medulan, which is just south of Pula. This area is heavily influence by Italy, of which it was a part between the two World Wars. The highway signs have the town/city names in Croatian and Italian.

That I Can Tell You
Posted 2.4.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | Joseph Goebbels was Hitler's Minister of Propaganda during the WW2 years. If he had not committed suicide the day after Adolf he might have obtained a position at FOX news. Sean Hannity, whose head seems to be morphing into one of those squarish chipped beef cans, could be the reincarnation of Goebbels. Case in point, the Nunes memo.

Talking with sons about being better men
Posted 2.2.18
ROSS MURRAY
Boys, you probably feel bad these days about being male, and you should. We've been terrible. Not you, specifically, but the rest of us. My generation definitely. But it wasn't our fault. It was... the patriarchy. And the funny thing is, back then, we didn't even know the patriarchy existed, but it did, boy oh boy! And was it fun.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 9 ~ IN OPATIJA
Posted 1.31.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
Opatija, a small city of 12,000, is surrounded by beautiful woods of bay laurel. The city is located on a rocky and picturesque sea-coast and home to many resorts. In Roman times, the area was home to several patrician villas connected to the nearby town of Castrum Laureana, the modern Lovran.

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 8 ~ FROM ZAGREB TO OPATIJA
Posted 1.27.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
The rain had stopped and we had a sunny, cool, and very windy day. The last stop before leaving Zagreb was, Mirogoj, ZagrebÕs central cemetery. It is known as one of the most beautiful cemeteries in Europe and was built by the famous linguist and leading person of the Croatian national reformation, or the Illyrian Movement, Ljudevit Gaj.

Secretary Zinke's first year in office
Posted 1.25.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
After improperly billing the government for personal travel expenses, Zinke received a Fitness Report in 1999 that blocked him from being promoted to a commanding officer position, or to the rank of captain.

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 7 ~ OUTSKIRTS OF ZAGREB
Posted 1.22.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
I learned I didn't even know Marshall Tito's full name - - Josip Broz Tito. Today, he is loved by many, ignored by many, and unknown, apparently, to some of the younger people. The village of Kumrovec is now a museum - - the whole small village - - and it is being restored as it was in 1892 at Tito's birth.

Just do your job
Posted 1.21.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In the past, Speaker Ryan, you have said: "We will not duck the tough issues, we will lead ... we will not spend four years blaming others, we will take responsibility."

The Me Species
Posted 1.19.18
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | Making one nation great is clan-thought. Nations, tribes, even families, religions, languages : each means one nation really can be separate. Yet it's obvious the world is a network, and it's hard to imagine that changing.

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 6 ~ AND IN DOWNTOWN ZAGREB
Posted 1.16.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
We woke up to grey skies, cool temperatures, and wind in Zagreb. Zagreb is the capital and the largest city of Croatia, with 800,000 people. It has a history dating back Roman times; the Roman town of Andautonia was just southeast of Zagreb on the Sava River. We toured Zagreb by bus for about 20 minutes and then met our local tour guide.

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 5 ~ ON TO ZAGREB
Posted 1.14.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
With five rivers in the town, there are lots of bridges.ÊOne bridge we did cross was the Zmajski Most or 'dragon' bridge, which has two dragons at each end of the bridge. The Ljubljana Dragon is symbol of the city and is depicted on the city coat of arms as well as the Dragon Bridge.

The spit is in the mail
Posted 1.13.18
ROSS MURRAY
For Christmas, our eldest daughter ordered me an ancestry DNA kit. Through analysis of my genetic source code, I will soon know exactly where I come from and whom to blame. That's really what we look for when we begin researching our ancestry: culpability. Up to now, I've only been able to attribute my shortcomings to my parents, but soon I'll have an entire Old World to pin them on.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 4 ~ ON TO ZAGREB
Posted 1.10.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
Our first stop, on our tour of the city, was Republic Square, which is the largest square in Ljubljana and where on 26 June 1991, the independence of Slovenia was declared.Ê It is the location of the Academia Philharmonicorum from whose open windows we could hear the students practicing their scales.

It takes a village to start a car
Posted 1.6.18
ROSS MURRAY
When it came to our car battery, I knew we were playing with fire. Or rather lack of fire. It had come to the point where simply leaving the key in the ignition would drain it. But we had a solution: don't leave the key in the ignition.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 3 ~ VISIT TO LARGEST NORDIC SKI CENTRE
Posted 11.3.18
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
We visited the Planica Nordic Center, a very interesting place. It has one ski-flying hill, seven ski-jumping hills, and indoor cross-country skiing track in Planica, Slovenia. It is the largest Nordic Centre in the world.

How The Last Jedi made me a little less stupid
Posted 12.30.17
ROSS MURRAY
Without giving away spoilers, I liked the film. It took the series in a new direction and undermined certain assumptions about the Star Wars universe. It certainly had its faults, but I was entertained and had popcorn as a meal, which is about all you can ask of an evening out. The biggest flaw I saw was my purchase of a large root beer without considering the absence of a pause button.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA:
PART 2 ~ DAY AROUND BLED
Posted 12.28.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL & KATHY CAVANAUGH
The next morning, we met Sasha and the others at 9 a.m. to go on a tour. Our first stop -- Bled Castle, which was first mentioned in writing in the year 1011.

Beast Mode
Posted 12.22.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | The USA is, at present, a writhing beast tearing its own guts out with claws from the right and the left. Its agony will, without doubt, be suffered by those of us who don't have solid gold bathroom fixtures on our yachts. That's most of us.

When my barber retires, I'm out of here
Posted 12.21.17
ROSS MURRAY
Data released this month revealed that more people are leaving Quebec than arriving. This came the same week that the provincial legislature unanimously passed a motion ostensibly discouraging Quebec merchants (read: Montreal merchants) from saying "Bonjour-hi" to customers.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

VISITING WHAT WAS ONCE YUGOSLAVIA
Posted 12.18.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In 2017, from October 19 through November 7, Kathy and I traveled in what used to be Yugoslavia. We traveled with my brother and sister-in-law (Dave and Mary) on a Vantage tour, which included a small boat cruise down the Dalmatian Coast. Yugoslavia, which was a federation of eight provinces, was formed as a kingdom after WWI with the breakup of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. After WWII it became the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia under Marshal Tito.

The Yapping Dogs of Discord
Posted 12.14.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | The talking heads on MSNBC and CNN cannot suppress their glee at the Moore defeat. The Democratic win in a blood-red state is a sure sign that Trump's base - - the "Yapping Dogs of Discord" - - are having second thoughts about their alpha dog. Not that a victory over an animated rat turd like Moore can be called historic. If the Republicans had run a tree stump instead of Moore they would have won handily.

That so-called tax reform stadium scam
Posted 12.12.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
What is in the American tax bill, that is the question. Some good news -- in the House bill there is a provision that ends the federal tax subsidy for private sports stadiums. Who would have guessed it!.

Have yourself a Murray Little Christmas
Posted 12.9.17
ROSS MURRAY
As a newly elected Stanstead town councillor in Quebec, my wife was invited to the town hall annual Christmas dinner, and as her spouse, I was invited along. That's right: I was political arm candy, and I've never been prouder.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Fixing the American booze tax mess
Posted 12.7.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The U.S. tax reform bill introduced in Mitch McConnell's Senate in November includes deep cuts to federal excise taxes on alcohol producers. Does this have anything to do with Kentucky being a major producer of bourbon whisky?

At least I didn't mention Daddy's Home 2
Posted 11.26.17
ROSS MURRAY
My wife and I recently took advantage of a much-needed getaway weekend, and we did what most couples do when they ditch the kids and the pets and the chores and find themselves alone in a hotel room: we watched a movie.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Thankful
Posted 11.25.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
I woke up about 4 AM, thinking about Thanksgiving. The American myth that I learned in grade school came to mind.

Back to Wiesbaden
Posted 11.18.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
On Sunday, November 5 we (Kathy, brother Dave, his wife, Mary, and I) had to change planes in Frankfurt, Germany on our way home from Croatia. We decided to stay a couple of days and visit Wiesbaden to see what had changed since my brother and I had lived there (1948 - 1951). Kathy and I had visited Wiesbaden briefly 15 years ago, but it had been 40 years for Dave.

Branding: Not Just for Cattle Anymore
Posted 11.13.17
ROSS MURRAY
The Ross Murray brand was first established over 50 years ago and has undergone several iterations - - Bad Haircut Ross Murray, Artsy Ross Murray, Ladies'Man Ross Murray (recalled), Bad Haircut Ross Murray 2.0 - - until finally settling into the Classic Vanilla Ross Murray we have come to know and tolerate.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Spook-ular values: A Halloween parable
Posted 10.30.17
ROSS MURRAY
It started with a body on a bus. This was followed by a second body on a bus. The interval between the discoveries was so brief that it felt like it couldn't be a coincidence, though it proved to be so. Still, there was no getting over the public perception that there was now an epidemic of bodies on buses.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Gushing over Quebec tap water
Posted 10.23.17
ROSS MURRAY
With the clarity of a professionally maintained aquarium, St-Étienne's water offers up the delicate aroma of fresh snow, wet leaves and the slightest hint of bowling shoes. Triggering nostalgic memories of drinking from the garden hose and strange stirrings after spying your friend's mom in a bikini, our sample starts with a sharpness at the front of the tongue due to calcium deposits, then finishes at the back of the throat due to gravity. However, we remarked a certain shortfall in overall wetness, and thus found it quenched our physical thirst yet not our thirst for greater meaning in a relentlessly cruel world. 8.1/10
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Déjà vu all over again
Posted 10.16.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Last Friday -- that was Friday the 13th by the way -- President Trump announced he would not certify Iran's compliance with the 2015 nuclear agreement, which imposes restrictions on Iran's nuclear program in exchange for economic sanctions relief. The President said: "We will see what happens with Iran. We're very unhappy with Iran. They have not treated us with the kind of respect that they should be treating."

The cat who cancelled Thanksgiving
Posted 10.14.17
ROSS MURRAY
Regular readers know that I harbour a certain prejudice against cats, and like most prejudices, it's defined by my own narrow experience. But this summer, our middle daughter Katie moved back home along with her own two cats, Lincoln and Chandler. That's when I discovered not all cats are jerks; only our cats are jerks.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

I am running for town hall in Stanstead, Quebec?
Posted 10.9.17
ROSS MURRAY
A number of people have asked me about a rumour going around that I plan to run for municipal council. If ever there was a time to address such a rumour -- right before the nomination deadline -- this would be the time. It gives me great pleasure, therefore, to confirm today that I have also heard the rumour and that the rumour is, indeed, going around.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Bye-bye pool
Posted 09.29.17
ROSS MURRAY
We warned the children we were getting rid of the swimming pool. I swear we warned them. Maybe they didn't believe us, thinking it was one of our idle threats, like "We're going to move to the country!" or "We're going to organize the yogurt containers under the sink!"
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Literary giant? A Penny For Your Thoughts
Posted 09.16.17
ROSS MURRAY
On the way back from Prince Edward Island this summer, we passed Shediac, NB, home of the world's largest lobster. Children climb on it. Don't worry, it's made of concrete. Watching children climb on a real giant lobster, now that I would pull off the highway for.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CARBON TAX: STILL A GOOD IDEA
Posted 09.1.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
A carbon tax is a fee imposed on carbon-based fuels (coal, oil, gas, etc.). The purpose of a carbon tax is to reduce damage to the environment and eventually eliminate the use of fossil fuels.

Got Wood?
Posted 09.1.17
ROSS MURRAY
In the 20-plus years my wife and I have been tent camping, we've barely changed our routine. We still pile our kitchen gear in a laundry basket - - as portable as it is inefficient. We use grocery bags to transport our dry goods, which before the end of the day are spread across the back seat. And our original luggage carrier doesn't so much sit on the roof as cling for dear life.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Phoenix police oppression
Posted 08.26.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The cops stood on the their side of the street in full riot gear and gas masks with two barricades and a street between us, before they descended on the crowd. We were pushed, bullied, and assaulted without provocation or warning.

Flushing tips for guests
Posted 08.18.17
ROSS MURRAY
Welcome to our home and, more specifically, this little corner of personal hygiene privacy we like to call the guest bathroom. Please make yourself comfortable and avail yourself of whatever you need. We have provided a wide variety of reading material, from an assortment of Archie digests to a well-thumbed Victoria's Secret catalogue, a subtle acknowledgement by your hosts that, here, your business is none of ours.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Great Republican Con Job
Posted 08.12.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Wake up America! You are being conned! President Trump, with the help of Congress and the media, is pulling the oldest trick in the book -- distract everyone with the threat of war with some other country. In this case, North Korea.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS US "RECOVERY"?
Posted 08.8.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The employment figures for July have arrived and the numbers exceeded expectations. Some 209,000 new jobs were created and the unemployment rate fell to 4.3 percent. That brings the total to more than 1 million new jobs since President Trump took office, who proudly tweeted: Excellent Jobs Numbers just released -- and I have only just begun.

The ghost of Stuart McLean describes Canada's summer of 2017
(Look, it's a Canadian thing, eh?)
Posted 08.5.17
ROSS MURRAY
It's a beautiful morning. The kind of morning that makes you want to leap out of bed, put on an old record and wake the children so they can watch you shimmy. It's the kind of morning that makes you think of your childhood growing up in Cape Breton, and the only plaything you had was an orange.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Me, age 110, explaining the secret of my longevity
Posted 07.31.17
ROSS MURRAY
It's so nice to have you reporterbots from GoogleThought drilling into my consciousness for an interview. I remember when I was a flesh reporter and I had to do these stories by actually talking to old people. Human contact was so uncomfortable back then. This is much easier, and I don't even have to get dressed or unhook myself from SeniorFeed.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Let the US Congress get to work on real tax reform
Posted 07.29.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The next high priority item in the Republican governing agenda is Tax Reform. Given the RepublicanÕs track record on health care, I thought they could use some help on Tax Reform. First I thought, WE (As in "We the People" acting as stated in Article I, through the Congress) need some goals for Tax Reform: (1) raise revenue (2) simplify tax filings, (3) eliminate favorable treatments that some receive, (4) lower tax rates, and (5) make taxation more fair.

OF COURSE YOU CAN HAVE ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST
Posted 7.25.17
RON COHEN
Excerpt from Ron's newly published memoirs of more than 40 years as top-flight American journalist.

And a 5 6 7 8...Dance!
Posted 07.20.17
ROSS MURRAY
As part of our constant quest for innovation and funkiness, Drinking Tips for Teens is pleased to present the world's first choreographed blog post. What's black and white and ready to boogie all over? Read on!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Lions and tigers and ticks, oh my!
Posted 06.26.17
ROSS MURRAY
If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, is it because everyone's afraid they're going to get lyme disease? Probably. This summer, the tiniest of insects are public enemy number one and people are avoiding the woods in droves.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

\My appropriation apology
Posted 06.21.17
ROSS MURRAY
In 2016, I published a novel entitled A Hole in the Ground. In this novel, I referred to a First Nations people, the Muskawatipaq, as well as their ancestral territory, Petawodimocto. These references were entirely fictional, created for the purposes of establishing a setting for my story and making up words that sounded kind of cool. I regret that I culturally appropriated faux-native culture.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Dorothy leaves Kansas for Oz
Posted 06.11.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Sam Brownback has been a star of the Tea Party, both in Congress and since he was elected Governor of Kansas. In May 2012, he instituted a package of drastic tax cuts to produce what he predicted would be "a shot of adrenaline into the heart of the Kansas economy."

What's wrong with your car? Where to start?
Posted 06.8.17
ROSS MURRAY
As requested, we have given your automobile a thorough inspection and are pleased to report to you our findings. In a nutshell -- or as we mechanics like to say, "in a DIN 6923 swivel flange nut" (ha-ha!) -- you have made the fundamental mistake that 9 out of 10 drivers make: you have driven your car.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Our celebrity commencement speaker is unavailable
Posted 05.26.17
ROSS MURRAY
I know you are expecting me at this point to introduce our celebrity commencement speaker. After all, the least we can do after your three to five years of academic struggle and astronomical student loans is to provide you with some sort of A-list entertainer offering high-minded bromides to create the illusion that at long last you got your money's worth.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Terminate this charade
Posted 05.20.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
President Trump has ordered a review of all National Monuments established since 1996, and you are responsible for this review. This review effort is a diversion of the Department's efforts and a waste of resources. The restricted budget of the Department of the Interior is insufficient to meet the maintenance needs of the parks and monuments. The deferred maintenance in 2015 was estimated to be $12 billion by GAO. A glaring example of the deferred maintenance is the Memorial Bridge, which alone needs $250 million in repairs.

Trumpwatch 2017: The Mad Toddler
Posted 5.18.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | Those of us with frost on our collective pumpkins will remember the reign of Idi Amin of Uganda. In the 70s Amin rose to power and instituted an "psycho-ocracy" in Uganda. Among the many peccadillos that Amin was known for was a propensity for cannibalism. To say his grip on reality was tenuous is an understatement.

He once said: "Sometimes people mistake the way I talk for what I am thinking. "

Does that remind you of anyone?

One brief shining toilet
Posted 0515.17
ROSS MURRAY
Last year, I moved into an office on the second floor because, logistically, logically, it made sense. Six months later, logisticallyer, logicallyer, it makes more sense for me to move back where I came from. It's kind of like getting deported, except I don't fear for my life and the greatest inconvenience is having to hang my pictures again.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The President's Tax Plan
Posted 05.14.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
President Trump has proposed a plan to overhaul the tax code. I think that this effort is timely. Overall, he proposes to reduce taxes. His plan for individuals proposes to eliminate targeted tax breaks that mainly benefit the wealthiest taxpayers and to repeal the Alternative Minimum Tax are good ideas, but insufficient.

The man with his hands on his hips
Posted 05.8.17
ROSS MURRAY
I want to be the man in the room with his hands on his hips, and not in a swishy way, nor with my hands balled into fists like I'm Charles Atlas, but sturdy and confident. A man who seems to say, "Neckties are for chumps or for strangling terrorists who make the mistake of infiltrating this facility, which happened this morning, and I didn't even crease my shirt, though I did ruin a tie. It was my assistant Barlow's tie, because I don't wear them, not being in the least bit chumpish."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

New Pot for Old Farts: A Guide
Posted 04.30.17
ROSS MURRAY
So, you've decided you're going to start smoking pot again. Congratulations! First, though, stop calling it "pot." These days, the cool kids call it "weed," and that's 30 percent the point of this entire exercise, right? To be cool again, just like you were in your twenties when you wore a bandana and regularly smoking doobies.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Resist. Now.
Posted 04.20.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
As some of you know, I went to high school in Germany as US military dependant, arriving there in June of 1948. The damage from WWII was starkly evident -- think of the pictures of Syria you see, on steroids. I once visited a residential section of Hamburg that had been firebombed; nothing burnable was left and the bricks from the houses had exploded from the heat, resulting in a brick-red sea as far as one could see.

Talking to your kids about legal drugs
Posted 04.17.17
ROSS MURRAY
Sit down, son. I'd like to talk to you about a difficult subject. No, not sex. No, not why all the rock stars are dying off. I want to talk to you about marijuana. Now that it's legal in Canada, you may be tempted to try it for the first time.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Pump rage
Posted 04.7.17
ROSS MURRAY
My general state of being whenever I wait for a gas pump to free up can best be described as "seething." I'm not great with waiting, even in a car surrounded by the endless possibilities of radio entertainment because, as it happens, I also seethe at commercial radio.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Risky days for columnists
Posted 03.31.17
ROSS MURRAY
Hi there. How's tricks? Does anyone say that anymore? "How's tricks? " Sounds Damon Runyon-esque. That's Damon Runyon, the American writer, not Damon Runyan, the Canadian actor and star of "Degrassi: The Next Generation," though, honestly, what kind of parent does that to a child? It would be like if my last name were "Frankenstein" and I named my child "Brideof."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Father-daughter-Beyoncé bonding
Posted 03.27.17
ROSS MURRAY
Abby and I get under each other's skin these days -- the sneering, the glares, the sarcasm, the outbursts and eye rolls. And Abby's pretty ornery too.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The one-quarter buck stops here
Posted 03.18.17
ROSS MURRAY
A Canadian quarter from 1907 turned up in my wife's change from the liquor store last weekend. I like to think it ended up there by way of a slow-moving nonagenarian war bride in a cardigan purchasing her bi-monthly supply of Harvey's Bristol Cream. She is also the last person in Canada to pay for items in small change, including pennies.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Coming out of the crawlspace
Posted 03.11.17
ROSS MURRAY
When I was little, my older brother and I would spend hours tunnelling into the piles of snow at the end of our driveway. This was back when we regularly got snowfalls of 17 feet at a time. Or something like that. I was a lot shorter then. And less metric.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

New guidelines for the coming in/going out of March
Posted 03.6.17
ROSS MURRAY
The management would like to inform you that, in accordance with our recently adopted policy on heightened inclusivity and respect for species fluidity, March is no longer exclusively required to come in like a lamb and go out like a lion (or vice versa, i.e. coming-lion/going-lamb).
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Coal Regulation Scuttled
Posted 03.06.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
President Trump has overturned the regulation that would prevent dumping of coal mining debris into nearby streams. He called it a "job-killing rule" before he signed the order to overturn it. Members of Congress from coal-mining states, including Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-KY, Sen. Rand Paul, R-KY, Sen. Joe Manchin, D-WV and Sen. Shelley Moore Capito, R-WV stood around grinning.

Trumpwatch 2017: Guns for the Insane and Other Crazy Shit
Posted 3.4.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | As my legions of readers know (I estimate them to be well into the single digits), I have always had a thing about gun control. After several years of pursuing the goal of limiting handguns, universal registration, banning assault weapons, and closing the gun show loophole, I gave up.

A case of refugee envy
Posted 02.28.17
ROSS MURRAY
Dear Refugees Fleeing Would-Be American Oppression: I see on the news that you 've been crossing illegally from the U.S. into Canada along our vast and largely unprotected border. It 's been happening in Manitoba and it 's been happening about an hour away from here in Quebec.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

I want to be the guy who drives the snowplough
Posted 02.21.17
ROSS MURRAY
O, I want to be the guy who drives the snowplough through the town.
A vanquisher of snowstorms, mighty king of streets and roads.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Trumpwatch 2017: March to Oblivion
Posted 2.16.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | If you are a fan of salacious media you will have noted the googly eyes that Ivanka Trump was leveling at hunky Canadian PM Justin Trudeau. She was all dressed up in a slinky shift and her "fuck me" pumps when Trudy met with Agent Orange to discuss "Women in Business."

The furious incident of the stupid dog in the night time
Posted 02.14.17
ROSS MURRAY
The stupid dog goes to the door around 5:30 a.m., maybe earlier. Dogs can't tell time. Every night when I come up to bed, Deb reminds me, "Did you let The Beast out?" If I haven't, I do, even though I know it's probably pointless because, at 11 o'clock, the dog doesn't need out. The dog needs out at 5:30 a.m., maybe earlier. Stupid dog.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Carbon Tax Redux
Posted 02.12.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
James A. Baker III, Secretary of State and White House Chief of Staff under President George H. W. Bush, has advocated a good idea: a Carbon Tax (See Link). He is supported by Hank Paulson, Treasury Secretary for former President George W. Bush; Greg Mankiw, who chaired Bush's Council of Economic Advisers; and Marty Feldstein, Chairman of President Ronald Reagan's Council of Economic Advisors. Also in support are former Walmart chairman, Rob Walton; Thomas Stephenson, a partner at the venture capital firm Sequoia Capital; and Ted Halstead, founder of New America and the Climate Leadership Council.

Trumpwatch 2017: The Nightmare Continues
Posted 2.11.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | Don't like Trump? Think he's an unmitigated douchebag? There's a support group for that. It's called "Almost Everybody." I'll try to keep up with the atrocities unleashed by this administration but it's like trying to take cover from a cluster bomb. So many lies, so many unethical shenanigans in so little time.

Slime Politics
Posted 02.8.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Last year the Senate, under the leadership of Republican Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, failed to do their job by denying President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, Merrick Garland, a hearing and a vote. One could even make the case that members of the majority party at that time violated their oath of office.

Trumped? Skunked!
Posted 02.7.17
ROSS MURRAY
I am carrying this live skunk to protest everything Donald Trump stands for. For the past weeks, as I've watched the presidency of Donald Trump unfurl like a deep-fried blooming onion at a county fair -- unhealthy, nauseating, greasy -- I have asked myself, how can I make my voice heard? How can one small person effectively express his utter loathing of Trump and his so-called policies? Also, what can I do with this live skunk I happen to have?
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Travel Ban
Posted 02.3.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The travel ban sprung by the Trump Administration initially looked to me like the typical blunder of a bunch of newbies that are out of their depth. Of course, President Trump is playing to his base and throwing these kind of bones will allow him to avoid his real promises of saving coal miners and other middle Americans from destitution.

Trumpwatch 2017: Homogenizing America
Posted 2.1.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | FDR had weekly "fireside chats" to discuss events in government and help people understand his decisions. Trump has decided to tweet out an atrocity of the week.

JOHNNY MUSN'T GRUMBLE
Posted 1.31.17
JOHN MAHONEY
Fever Dreams at -26 C

Canadian political leaders trip over tongues
Posted 1.30.17
PETER BLACK
QUEBEC CITY | Say what you will about former Conservative prime minister Stephen Harper (insert snide or sentimental comment here: ... ), he made a determined effort from an early age to learn and speak French.

O, supplemented youth!
Posted 01.28.17
ROSS MURRAY
In the 1960s and early 70s, Canadian children did not regularly eat fresh fruit or vegetables during the winter months due to complex British Commonwealth rules that stated that all food must be grey or mush or both.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Trumpwatch 2017: Lighting the Fuse
CAPE BRETON, NS | I mention Canada's current Trudeau's hoo-raw only so we Canucks can be happy we are not south of the border these days. Some of you may be indulging in a bit of Schadenfreude but don't think the orange nightmare won't be having a profound affect on us as well. So, let's see what parade of atrocities has our bloviating buffoon saddled us with this week.

What Do We Do, Now?
Posted 01.23.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We, in the United States, have a government "of the People, by the People and for the People," which is aimed at helping the peoples of the nation and the world. We the People have just completed a very long process of choosing new leadership in both the Executive Branch and the Legislative Branch of that government.

This past weekend, we installed that leadership in its offices. Come Monday morning and we discover -- similar to the discovery we make after a long weekend drunk -- we have made a horrendous mistake.

Townshipsplaining the PM
Posted 01.21.17
ROSS MURRAY
Oh, hi there, Prime Minister Trudeau, or as we say here in Quebec's Eastern Townships, "hi there."You see, Justin (may I call you Justin? I think I may), the Eastern Townships is a pretty easygoing place when it comes to the whole English-French thing. Certainly we've had our battles -- sign complaints, bilingual status debates, health care access. But for the most part, even during difficult times, both linguistic communities have been fairly even-tempered, dare I say cooperative.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Bilingualish today, not so French tomorrow?
Posted 1.19.17
PETER BLACK
QUEBEC CITY | Most people these days likely would identity the acronym APEC as Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation, a group of Pacific Rim countries, including Canada and, for now, the United States, promoting free trade. For many years, though, APEC stood for something quite different Canada. The Alliance for the Preservation of English here was a group furiously opposed to the Official Languages Act of 1969.

Putin turns the tables
Posted 1.16.17
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | Two or three years ago it seemed that Russia had been backed into a corner by the West - - from the Sochi Olympics to NATO's forces stationed along Russia's borders, including the very-provocative NATO move to rotate warships continually through the Black Sea, along the coasts of Russia and Iran. NATO was negotiating for use of what used to be Russia's largest naval base in the south, Sevastopol in the Crimea.

Eulogy for a big guy
Posted 01.15.17
ROSS MURRAY
I learned recently that an old university friend died. We spent two years together in Bennett House at Mount Allison University in the mid-80s. His name was Jim Morrison. Not that Jim Morrison. Not the Lizard King, though Jim was big like a T Rex, and he tended to lumber like one. He was also legally blind, but only in the sense that you wouldn't want to get behind the wheel with him.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

TRUMPWATCH 2017; From Obama Nation to Abomination
Posted 1.12.17
JIM AUSTIN
CAPE BRETON, NS | I'm sorry but I just can't get behind the crowd who says: "Let's just wait and see how he does" nor can I follow the advice of Kellyanne "Conjob" Conway, his female zombie minion who said, "don't worry about what comes out of his mouth, it's what in his heart that matters."

JANUARY NEWSLETTER OF RUSSIAN CYBER-HACKERS LOCAL 301
Posted 01.07.17
ROSS MURRAY
Holiday season is over in decadent West. Many bourgeois families woke on morning of Magical Jesus Holiday to find new electronic devices under freshly killed living room tree. It is musical ringtone to Mother Russia's eavesdropping ears. Soon all of West will be puppet for Russian master and all of Russian people will have free subscription to Netflix.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Winding down
Posted 01.06.17
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Viking Akun had cruised through the night on the Volga as it wandered through the Russian Plain, which is characterized by low hills and woods. We arrived in Yaroslavl just after breakfast about 8 a.m. . This city of about 600,000 was founded about 1000 CE on the banks of the Volga River on the site of a Viking village. The Volga turns south at this point. The Vikings used the river as their route to the Caspian Sea.

Thinking Huuugely in America
Posted 01.03.178
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Our President Elect, Donald Trump, has said that he is going to bring American manufacturing jobs back from overseas. I have argued that, while some jobs have gone overseas, the real problem is that jobs have disappeared due to new technology. The chart below, needless to say, supports my position.

How to do laundry in 2017
Posted 12.29.16
ROSS MURRAY
Get the dirt on soap: Your laundry detergent makes a lot of claims. It's going to spin. It's going to tell you it's better than all the other detergents. It might say the other detergents can't get the job done, have no moral fibre, don't have the temperament, are soft on grime. Some might go so far as to suggest the competing brands support ring around the collar.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Going North
Posted 12.23.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Viking Akun cruised north on the Moscow Canal through the newer parts of Moscow heading for the Volga River. All along this part of the route were new apartment buildings, cranes where apartments would be soon, green park areas and many recreational facilities, including amusement parks. What I read in the newspapers and magazines indicates that the Russian economy is in bad shape. However, that was not what I observed.

No fear & loathing Ôround this old Christmas tree
Posted 12.05.16
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | Since when did, "Have a safe Christmas!", become a seasonal greeting? Did you hear this as a kid? I didn't. Or if I did, it meant "don't drink too much", but today this so-called greeting encompasses the most horrendous threats.

The Donald does Christmas
Posted 12.21.16
ROSS MURRAY
1 AD @realBethlehemTrump Just read Old Testament. Not good. God did a very bad job. All smiting and pestilence, zero job creation. New Testament will be unbelievably world-class, trust me.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

SCHRODINGER'S CAT COMES TO LIFE IN SATURDAY'S NEW YORK TIMES
Posted 12.19.16
RON COHEN
NEAR WASHINGTON DC | I have been alive 79 years and 11 months without ever having encountered Schrodinger's Cat. That changed this weekend.

The coming of the coffee bean behemoth
Posted 12.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
The office where I work is in a former home set a fair distance from the rest of the school. I'm alone on the second floor, making me the most outlying member of the school staff. I'm the institutional Pluto. There are five of us in this building. Sometimes I hear them having a good time downstairs. Sometimes they leave and lock me in. When this occurs, I remind myself that I have a private bathroom.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Trumpwatch 2016: March to Oblivion
PUTNEY, VT | Trump's current parade of Fox hosts and lunatic fringe element contestants for his cabinet is chilling. The Donald is handling his appointments like a cheesy game show host. Most unappealing is the lineup of lickspittle former critics of Trump who are now panting for a cabinet post.

Your Basic Reverse Advent Calendar
Posted 12.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
From now until Christmas Eve, you get to open one small window a day and delight in the small treat inside -- unless the treats are tiny liqueur-filled chocolates, in which case you're probably going to eat/drink them all alone this Saturday night watching "Gilmore Girls" on Netflix. Friends don't let friends advent binge. Or watch "Gilmore Girls."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Beatles on the Border
Posted 11.23.16
ROSS MURRAY
Legend has it that back in the day the Beatles used to meet [at the Haskell Free Library on the Quebec/Vermont border]. John was banned from the US so he would enter the library from the Canadian side with George, Paul, and Ringo coming in from the US side. The locals claim that George, Paul, and Ringo used to stay to relax afterwards because they could walk around and everyone just treated them as regular people.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Trumped
PUTNEY, VT | I send you greetings from Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia. If you will recall at the end of the movie "World War Z" Brad Pitt and his family took refuge from the zombie apocalypse in Nova Scotia. Now that much the same thing has happened in the U.S.A. Brad and I are here for the next four years at least.

Getting back to sexy business
Posted 11.14.16
ROSS MURRAY
As if Americans haven't been through enough gut-wrenching uncertainty, next week they must join the rest of the world as we anxiously await a vital decision: who will be People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at rossgrantmurray@gmail.com
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

An unfocused look at optometry
Posted 11.09.16
ROSS MURRAY
Optometry is one of those professions where I think, "Hey, I could do do that." It doesn't seem that complicated. With some basic equipment and an instructive YouTube video, I'm sure I could manage it.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

'Mad as Hell'
Posted 11.11.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
All of the talking heads in Washington and elsewhere are trying to explain why there is so much anger in the U.S. voting public. I think that Bill Clinton got it right in his 1992 campaign when he said: "it's the economy stupid."

Scarebnb: A Halloween Review
Posted 10.30.16
ROSS MURRAY
OMG this place was literally a nightmare. If you have a choice between spending the night in an open grave filled with the corpses of murdered orphans or at Jaundiced Entrails B&B, well, I would say the B&B but only because it's closer to the airport.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Reading at a Literary Festival
Posted 10.24.16
ROSS MURRAY
For the last several months I've been enjoying house concerts in Stanstead. I get to go into someone's living room and enjoy performers as they stand in front of me playing intricate arrangements on instruments that I could never begin to master. I, on the other hand, read out loud to people.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The Kremlin
Posted 10.22.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
On our visits to Moscow city center we had been all around the Kremlin's red brick wall with its towers, and viewed it from all angles. As mentioned earlier, kremlin means fortress in Russian and many cities have kremlins. The area enclosed within the Kremlin wall in Moscow is over 68 acres and is almost in the form of a triangle. It includes five palaces, four cathedrals, and a number of office buildings.

Whither Democracy?
Posted 10.11.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We Americans pride ourselves on being exceptional and being the world's oldest democracy. In the last few years, we have not been setting an example for the rest of the world. Whatever happened to the shining city on the hill? In our domestic policies, we are disenfranchising voters, buying elections, and abandoning civility. These actions plus the dysfunction of our government causes the U.S. to lose its standing as a world leader. We see European countries like Poland and Hungary following the lead of Putin's Russia moving toward oligarchy.

Bend it like Bonehead
Posted 10.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
Over the years, I've mostly shied away from playing in these [student-teacher] games due to my medical condition: I'm allergic to humiliation.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Trumping myself
Posted 10.07.16
ROSS MURRAY
If there's one thing that the U.S. federal election campaign has taught me and that Monday night's debate in particular reinforced and that the mainstream media helpfully perpetuated and that my gut instinct kind of knew all along and that my mother warned me would probably happen, it's that run-on sentences are no big deal.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

My nude calendar
Posted 09.28.16
ROSS MURRAY
Earlier this year I ran a successful Kickstarter campaign to help cover the cost of printing the debut novel that I will stop shamelessly referencing sometime in the middle-distant future. The campaign was a success, and the book is now for sale at better tanning salons near you.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

A Day in Moscow
Posted 09.20.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We disembarked at the Moscow airport and walked to get our luggage, and meet our transportation. The airport could have been anywhere, except for the signs in Cyrillic. Fortunately, most signs had English subtitles.

Book Launch Emergency Measures
Posted 09.15.16
ROSS MURRAY
QUEBEC'S EASTERN TOWSHIPS | This Saturday Sept. 17 at Townshippers' Day, I will officially launch my debut novel, A Hole in the Ground. Set in the fictional town of Beaverly, the plot hinges on a local disaster. And turtles. I can verify there are stampeding beavers. But mostly the disaster.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Explaining the ocean
Posted 09.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
So. Imagine a water. A big, big water. No, bigger than that. Think of all the bathtubs you will fill in your lifetime. Now multiply by infinity. Add salt. That's the ocean. It's where the land stops. There's land on the other side of it, but you can't see it. You just have to trust that it's there, and for a while a whole lot of people didn't. If you ever saw an ocean you would understand why. There are no crocodiles.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The Trump - Putin Bromance
Posted 09.11.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
It appears as if we are getting used to Donald Trump's off-the-cuff statements describing Putin as a "strong leader" and saying that the United States gets "no respect" from Russian President Vladimir Putin.

This is your fight song
Posted 09.06.16
ROSS MURRAY
With classes beginning this week, it seems a shame that many schools no longer have fight songs to rev up the bloodlust against other schools differentiated only by their postal code. There's nothing quite like teenagers singing in unison as they call for the metaphorical death of their peers to make one feel pride in the ol' school colours.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

How I spent my summer staycation
Posted 08.31.16
ROSS MURRAY
Normally I would keep a journal of my annual vacation travels, but this year we stayed put. What to do? One option might be to post a Yelp review of my Ultimate Staycation Package. ("Directions were spot on: walk downstairs, turn left at the laundry basket and enter the kitchen. I appreciated the Unlimited Fridge Access and the Pants Optional Policy but customer service involved far too much eye-rolling. Also the house had a funny smell. Or so I'm told. I didn't notice.")
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The Russians are not going gentle into that good night
Posted 08.23.16
ROSS MURRAY
Welcome back to Rio and the semi-final match of Famous Poets' Beach Volleyball. Coming up: the U.S. team of Robert Frost and Sylvia Plath versus T.S. Eliot and Dylan Thomas of Great Britain, what is sure to be an afternoon of all-around athleticism, artistry and alliteration.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Never underestimate the power of a bad idea
Posted 08.21.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In our current American political campaign there has been a drumbeat about manufacturing and manufacturing jobs being shipped overseas; both Hillary and Donald have had much to say in their speeches. The implication is that nothing is manufactured in the U.S. of A. today. The result, so goes the political story, is that shipping of manufacturing jobs overseas has resulted in HUGE layoffs and unemployment.

This old housepainter
Posted 08.17.16
ROSS MURRAY
If you ever want to see how your body changes over time, just paint your house every eight years or so.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

American Democracy Betrayed
Posted 08.15.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
the American philosophy and system of government was thus designed by the Founders, equally to prevent, the 'snob-rule' of a governing Elite and the 'mob-rule' of The Majority. This design was to preclude the existence in America of any governmental power capable of being misused so as to violate the individual's rights.

Welcome to your personal day
Posted 08.10.16
ROSS MURRAY
Good morning! I hope you enjoyed that extra 10 minutes of sleep. And not the cruel joke "snooze button" extra sleep but the kind from which you awaken gently, dreaming of a multi-handed masseuse singing The Carpenters' greatest hits, in a non-gooey, freshly re-evaluated way. This is your personal day. Everyone's getting one this year, and today is yours, all yours. "
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: TOURNON TO AVIGNON
Posted 08.08.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Tournon dates from Celtic times and is built on a narrow level area along the river right up against granite hills. In the 11th century a wealthy family of nobles, the Counts of Tournon, built a fort/castle on the granite rock overlooking the Rhone Valley. The castle is above the fortification in the picture and contains a museum, open to the public.

I See My First American Open-Carry Guy
Posted 08.08.16
JOHN MAHONEY
I saw him at Taft's Corners in Williston, Vermont, at the Majestic 10 Cinema on July 31. It was approximately 5:45 p.m. outside Theater No. 1 where the (new, bad) Jason Bourne flick was playing.

Summer self-lovin', happened so fast
Posted 08.05.16
ROSS MURRAY
I'll never forget that summer romance when I was 16. Neither can the girl involved, I suspect, except in her case it's probably "Why can't I forget that summer 'romance' when I was 16!"

I remember everything being so intense and wonderful: that first shy meeting, the hot-and-heavy hand-holding, finally getting to second base, which in 1982 meant acknowledging that your affection had reached the next level, or "base." [Editor's note: This is not what "second base" meant in 1982.]
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Closing speech of the Rossican National Convention
Posted 07.27.16
ROSS MURRAY
Thank you, everyone, thank you. Thank you for that kind ovation, not to mention the spontaneous singing of the national anthem. That it was the national anthem of Uruguay was a bit of a surprise, but stirring nonetheless.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: IN ANCIENT VIENNE
Posted 07.22.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Vienne is a really old Roman town that predates Caesar's conquest of Gaul by 60 years and the Roman town sprawled onto both sides of the river. On our walking tour after the cathedral, we visited the Temple of Augustus and Livia, which was built during the reign of Emperor Augustus.

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: IN BEAUTIFUL LYON
Posted 07.14.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The region around Lyon is predominantly agricultural with tourism working up to second place. Cows are much in evidence and are used both for meat and milk, which is made into a number of well-known cheeses: Bleu d'Auvergne, Cantal, Fourme d'Ambert and Saint-Nectaire. Cheese and wine are all that is needed to make Lyon's reputation as a culinary capital.

More National Parks funding needed
Posted 07.13.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The inefficiency involved in having one federal agency apply to another for partial funding for a project that both the executive and legislative branches have long recognized as necessary, is appalling. Further, the grant will not complete this necessary job; estimated to cost $250 million. This situation will lead to further inefficiencies because of the effort required by the project team in the National Park Service to piece together the rest of the required funding.

10 things you should never say to the parent of a child who is pure evil
Posted 07.11.16
ROSS MURRAY
1. Why can't your child stop being pure evil?

Because his evil is pure, can't you see? It's not a little evil, not part-time evil, not a little over the top evil. Pure evil. The essence of evil. It cannot be stopped or contained. You might as well ask him to stop conjuring the minions of Satan or demanding we read him I Love You Forever each and every single night. I mean, it's a tearjerker at first but after a while you just want to claw your eyeballs out. But we have to read it, otherwise he'll smite us.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Ol' Catfish in the house, ladies!
Posted 07.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
I'm kind of funny looking. I see it most in photographs. "Wow," I'll say. "My head is huge." On good days, I like to describe my body as "streamlined." Wrists like chopsticks with veins like The Hulk. My son will never forgive me for his nose.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

ONE WAY TO MAKE A (SHAKUHACHI) QUIVVER
Posted 06.26.156
JOHN MAHONEY
I settled on this low-cost method of carrying a flute(s) on my daily meditation/play/walk up the Muskrat Lake shoreline path to the local park overlook, and other treks. This includes our annual week's vacation in July at Newport, Vermont, overlooking beautiful Lake Memphremagog, where each day at sunrise I play shakuhachi and NAFs from the high front steps of St. Mary's church looking down the lake for miles into Quebec.
John Mahoney is the publisher of the Log Cabin Chronicles. This is the third in a projected series on his Shakuhachi journey.
His column archives: Click Here

E-mail anxiety
Posted 06.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
It wasn't necessarily being served in English that sealed the deal but it didn't hurt. Deb and I had been considering changing our phone and Internet provider for some time, so when a representative from a company we'll call Cabletron phoned out of the blue on Saturday, I didn't react the way I normally do when a telemarketer calls:
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: LYON DAYS
Posted 06.21.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
After breakfast we went by coach north to the Beaujolais region, which produces one of France's most famous wines. The vineyards stretch for ten miles along the Saône River and up the rolling hills. Wine was first produced here by the Romans; and then through the Middle Ages, winemaking was done by the Benedictine monks. Our goal was the Chateau Ravatys (see below) for a tour of the vineyard and the cellar followed by a wine tasting.

House of strippers
Posted 06.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
I don't know if years ago they used special NASA-grade paint for kitchen woodwork, but this door frame required much straining, grunting, and sweating, which also sounds like a fun night out but I can assure you was not. Was lead-based paint actually a coat of lead, because it sure felt like it.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Cap in hand for A Hole in the Ground
Posted 06.09.16
ROSS MURRAY
I did something recently that I'm not very comfortable doing. No, not that! Disgusting! No, I asked people for money. I'm normally much more comfortable passively hinting for money or sighing heavily about money until eventually people give me money to make me go away.

I launched a Kickstarter campaign to ask people to help me affray the up-front printing costs for the publication of my debut novel, A Hole in the Ground. This is serious business. I know because I'm using business-y words like "affray" and "up-front."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: PARIS DAYS
Posted 06.06.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Wine in hand, we all chose typical fare for petite déjeuner -- Croque Monsieur, soupe à l'oignon, and Quiche Lorraine -- while seated in the enclosed sidewalk café enjoying the passing scene. The bright yellow Lamborghini playing Grand Prix on the Avenue de Suffren was a hit.

Death and the double bed
Posted 05.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
As I was cursing the person who installed the wallpaper border in our hallway 22 years ago and wondering whether it would have been easier if I'd removed it 21 years ago, a song popped into my head.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

My soap has let me down
Posted 05.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
I had such high hopes for my soap. It had a revitalizing formula. Not merely a revitalizing blueprint or a revitalizing vague idea but a formula. That's science, math, the stuff babies drink -- any which way, very serious business!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

How to talk to humans
Posted 05.16.16
ROSS MURRAY
In the brain are thousands of thinkifiers that are triggered by external stimulus and celebrity news stories. These thinkifiers can be active or dormant, depending on such variables as barometric pressure and the proximity of Steve Buscemi. It's good to have a thought in advance of speaking to a human because social situations depress the thinkifier, rendering it next to impossible to come up with something to contribute to a conversation, especially if the human is totally cute or has something distracting hanging from her nostril.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Gluten for punishment
Posted 05.11.16
ROSS MURRAY
There have been rumours for years. This time they're true. People said it would never happen, but it's already in the works. Stanstead, Quebec, is to be the home of an industrial gluten repository.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Doris and the Broken Leg
Posted 05.10.16
RON COHEN
NEAR WASHINGTON DC | Doris Kraus, my classmate at Nassau School in East Orange, N.J., was a sweet girl whose parents came from Germany. It was kind of exotic having a German-American friend during World War II, when every adult we knew was saying bad things about those awful "Krauts." But you couldn't regard her wildly bouncing blond curls and her shy smile and think anything except, "How cute!" This is an excerpt from Ron Cohen's forthcoming memoir, "Of Course You Can Have Ice Cream for Breakfast: Love Letters to My Grandkids". Cohen retired after four decades with United Press International and Gannett News Service, and is the author of the award-winning "Down to the Wire: UPI's Fight for Survival."

Being part of The Process
Posted 04.26.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
After a search on the Senate website, I found no phone number for the Majority Leader of the Senate. So, I tried to call Senator Mitch McConnell at his office in the Russell Senate Office Building; his number is 202-224-2541. I got a robo-answer saying that his office was experiencing a large number of calls and please send an e-mail.

How to make a superhero movie
Posted 04.25.16
ROSS MURRAY
You start with an Exposition: It's a dark time. It's a dangerous time. It's lunch time. There's a global food crisis, and by "global" we mean the United States, which is the same thing. The government and military have teamed up in an implicitly sinister way with a mega-corporation to manage the crisis using robo-soldiers powered by the world's stockpile of personal deodorants. It's a smelly time.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Steal this look
Posted 04.13.16
ROSS MURRAY
Sweater: Woolrich, neutral, bumpy -- The sweater, of course, anchors the ensemble. Woolly, bland and shapeless, like its owner, the sweater's neutral tones cry out, "This once belonged to my father-in-law, and the fact that it was free is its finest quality."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

When cliffs attack
Posted 04.1 3.16
ROSS MURRAY
On Sunday, a 20-year-old woman in St. John's, Newfoundland drove over the cliffs of Signal Hill in her Toyota Echo (ECHO, Echo, echo...). The woman escaped from the plummeting vehicle before it came to a stop 90 metres down the cliff face. The victim was lucky, for if she had fallen into the sea, she would have been a-salted.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Who really gets punished in the IRS game?
Posted 04.12.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Fortunately, I did not have a question for the IRS because last year only 37 percent of those that called the IRS got through. If I had called and gotten through, my wait would have averaged 23 minutes. Snail mail is worse; the IRS backlog for letters waiting to be answered is currently over 900,000.

Then Came the Gunshots and a Hell of a Story That Monday Afternoon
Posted 04.07.16
RON COHEN
NEAR WASHINGTON DC | "The President has been shot!"

In 40-plus years in journalism, I heard these words twice. The first time was on November 22, 1963, and nobody alive then will forget where they were and what they were doing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated while riding in an open limousine in a presidential motorcade in Dallas.This is an excerpt from Ron Cohen's forthcoming memoir, "Of Course You Can Have Ice Cream for Breakfast: Love Letters to My Grandkids". Cohen retired after four decades with United Press International and Gannett News Service, and is the author of the award-winning "Down to the Wire: UPI's Fight for Survival."

The Sleep Contract
Posted 04.04.16
ROSS MURRAY
Whereas the parties referred to herein have shared a bed on a nocturnal basis for considerable time in accordance to accepted socio-marital norms and sleeping patterns, notwithstanding that as time passes, said sleeping patterns are becoming increasingly weird; and whereas the parties wish to maintain peaceful relations pursuant to the good governance of a decent night's sleep; the parties do willingly and without prejudice agree to the following terms and conditions:
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
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How to be irritating
Posted 03.28.16
ROSS MURRAY
Hello, I'm Ross Murray, but I insist you call me by the nickname I've given myself, "Ponchy." Giving yourself a nickname is just one of many simple and mostly inexpensive ways to be irritating. Today, Ponchy is going to share some of these ways with you. Ponchy knows what he's talking about.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Dance like everybody's watching
Posted 03.22.16
ROSS MURRAY
Next, you must create the Facebook event, with a catchy name like "Me So Dance-y!" or "There Is No 'I' In 'Dance' But There Should Be!" What was life like before the Facebook event? Those were sad days of candlelight and rotary phones and people dancing with hardly anybody watching them at all. But now they have you. It is you they will watch dance, and their lives will never be the same.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Whatever happened to Owen?
Posted 03.14.16
ROSS MURRAY
One of the perks of having children is being able to watch an alternate version of your life unfold before your very eyes. It's like some Hollywood remake with different actors, contemporary references and better hair, but the story and themes are more or less the same. "I've seen this before," you say. "I know how it turns out."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

How many U.S. Supremes should America have?
Posted 03.13.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Additionally, Judge Posner points out, -- contrary to what Justice Roberts said -- that the justices bring their attitudes and suppositions, which they have derived from their upbringing, training, personal and career experience, religion and national origin.

My Canada Gross coat
Posted 03.07.16
ROSS MURRAY
I've long been of the belief that our craving for stuff is what's killing our planet. Consequently, I tend to hang onto things until they're worn beyond use rather than replace them with something new. I'm good for the environment, terrible for the economy.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

In Washington, a debate of sorts
Posted 03.05.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Recently, I went to Capitol Hill to watch a debate entitled The Executive Branch VS. Congressional Prerogatives in National Security Decisions. This was sponsored by the American Foreign Policy Council (AFPC). I had been invited by my friend Liz who is affiliated with AFPC.

Strunk and White and Trump: The Elements of the Style
Posted 02.21.16
ROSS MURRAY
The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive. People love the vigor. I have been very successful with the vigor. Everybody loves it. Hillary Clinton was the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country. So much better, a thousand times better than I think what's happening to this country is unbelievably bad; we're no longer a respected country. What's wrong with that sentence is so obviously President Obama. Incredibly passive.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Writing the write, reading the read
Posted 02.15.16
ROSS MURRAY
I was sitting in my office, working the work, when the sole of my foot started vibrating. It was very subtle, like maybe there was machinery operating under the floor. It wasn't a steady vibration but starting and stopping, with the rhythm of an oscillating fan.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Safe drinking water, toxic lead levels, and slashing safety spending
Posted 02.13.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The anti-regulation industry and the "government is the problem" folks have been attacking EPA for years. Adjusted for inflation, the $100 million annual budget of the EPA's drinking water office has fallen 15 percent since 2006, resulting in a more than 10 percent reduction of its staff.

Happy Days in Canada
Posted 02.08.16
ROSS MURRAY
According to a recent poll, two-thirds of Canadians are "pretty happy." This to me is the perfect Canadian answer. When you ask a Canadian "How are you?" nine times out of ten, the answer will be "pretty good." Not "great," not "lousy," not "get off my porch before I call the cops," but "pretty good." It's that kind of contained enthusiasm that has made Canada the mostly all right country it is today.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Murray of Atholl: be careful how you thay it
Posted 02.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
I love the Scottish language, because it's almost English. I can understand just enough to get the gist of what's being said. This is also, by the way, how I've lived my life in French Quebec for the last 26 years.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Talking Dirty: U.S. Water And The EPA
Posted 01.31.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
So why didn't EPA solve this problem before so many people in Flint, Michigan, were exposed?

All-purpose rock star obituary
Posted 01.26.16
ROSS MURRAY
Music lovers were (A) saddened (B) shocked (C) not surprised at all today to learn that (A) rock legend (B) one-hit wonder (C) bong aficionado XYZ had died after a courageous battle against (A) cancer (B) Alzheimer's (C) a small pack of Girl Guides. He was [insert age; probably 69].
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Out of my cold, gelled hands
Posted 01.17.16
ROSS MURRAY
It was painful hearing Barack Obama dance around the issue of gun ownership at his town hall meeting last week. The U.S. president had to come across as anti-gun but not too anti-gun. It was like watching a dad tell the kids he's super-chill but, hey, rules are cool, yo!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The element in the room
Posted 01.10.16
ROSS MURRAY
Scientists recently discovered four new chemical elements. It's unclear to me whether these elements already existed but hadn't yet been tracked down or whether the scientists created them, God-like, out of thin air by toying with the very fabric of the universe, a sentence that often ends with " -- and then things went horribly, horribly wrong."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

New Year's Resolutions -- or questions
Posted 01.08.16
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | I had little success in convincing my granddaughters that New Year's resolutions are appropriate -- or helpful.

My year in review
Posted 01.03.16
ROSS MURRAY
January: My peace mission to Syria was fraught with complications after my seeing-eye Pomeranian was seized at Customs for violating national thresholds of froufrou-ness. This was followed by further scurrying about and logistical recalibration after I realized I was not in Syria but Sarnia. Thanks a lot, Google Maps!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Tolerance resolution needed
Posted 01.02.16
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The New Year's resolution is a tradition in our democracy. Given some of the events and words spoken in 2015, I think a resolution for 2016, based on Tolerance, might be appropriate.

AMERICAN DESERT DAYS PART 3
Posted 12.30.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We were headed to the Pipe Spring National Monument almost two hours away in Arizona. This small facility, 40 acres, is administered by the Park Service and has a long history, which includes the Paiutes Indians, Spanish explorers, and Mormon pioneers.

About our new kitchen counter
Posted 12.27.15
ROSS MURRAY
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree that a new kitchen counter would be installed a week before Christmas. And all were on board, each in his own way, because it was a professional doing it and not Dad.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

How do you rate America?
Posted 12.20.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We Americans claim that we have the greatest democracy that the world has ever seen. We refer to the high principles enunciated in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. And we suggest that the rest of the world follow our lead.

Save Rooney
Posted 12.15.15
ROSS MURRAY
When I was in Grade 11 there was -- how shall I say -- an incident. It involved the high school band, an overnight stay, a third-floor window, and some water balloons. It was not the perfect crime.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Looking into the genetic crystal ball
Posted 12.07.15
ROSS MURRAY
When I was quite young, I watched The Illustrated Man on television in the middle of the afternoon. It terrified me, and not just because it starred a mostly naked Rod Steiger. Among other things, the film hinted at the end of the world, depicted the mercy-killing of children and showed one character bashing another's head with a rock. Worst of all, if you looked deeply into the empty space of one of Steiger's tattoos ("Not that empty space, a little to the left."), you could see how you would die. This raises the question: where was my mother and why was she letting me watch this trash!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

TRUMPWATCH 2016: MARCH TO OBLIVION
Posted 12.03.16
JIM AUSTIN
PUTNEY, VT | Trump's current parade of Fox hosts and lunatic fringe element contestants for his cabinet is chilling. The Donald is handling his appointments like a cheesy game show host. Most unappealing is the lineup of lickspittle former critics of Trump who are now panting for a cabinet post.

50 phrases I didn't hear on my 50th birthday
Posted 12.01.15
ROSS MURRAY
"How lucky to have been born in the sixties but have absolutely no memories of them."

Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

AMERICAN DESERT DAYS PART 2
Posted 11.29.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Our itinerary said that this was "a dramatic flightseeing excursion" and it was. We flew over the Canyonlands National Park where the Colorado River doubles back on itself several times, as shown in the "Badlands." In a moment of geologic time the river will break through the low spot in the picture center and change course once more. We dodged the peaks of the Escalante and Henry Mountains, and had a great view of the Waterpocket Fold and other sandstone formations. Without oxygen our planes had a height limit of 10,000 feet and the mountains were over 11,000. The terrain was varied to say the least; changing every minute.

Stop the sky from falling
Posted 11.23.15
ROSS MURRAY
We're sitting ducks, I tell you. Blind. We're gambling with our lives, like blind ducks -- blind ducks sitting at a roulette table where the prize is also a duck. But this isn't about ducks. It's about the lax astronomy that puts our lives at risk every single day and most nights as well.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Refugee report from one German city
Posted 11.21.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Freiburg has taken in 5000 refugees in the last year, which amounts to 2 percent of our local population. This even though Freiburg has a housing shortage that is the worst in Germany, based on percent of income devoted to housing costs. We are getting an additional 150 refugees per week. But it is working out.

A country of migrants
Posted 11.19.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
We are a country of migrants; everyone or their family came from somewhere else. Even the American Indians migrated, just earlier than the rest of us.

Hello, Drake? It's Adele.
Posted 11.16.15
ROSS MURRAY
My daughter Abby looked up at me, puzzled, appalled. "How do you know that song?" she asked, which, now that I think about it, might have been code for, "Please stop singing that song." "I'm hip. I'm cool. I know Drake," I said.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Why your next employee should be a former non-athlete and probably the one after that too
Posted 11.10.15
ROSS MURRAY
Employment-wise, it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. And why are the dogs eating dog? Because they're out of dog food. But surely they could they eat something else, like garbage. Dogs eat garbage all the time. Good dogs, bad dogs, they can't get enough of garbage. Why do dogs have to resort to gobbling other dogs? The answer, you probably don't know, is that dogs are delicious. Dogs, strangely enough, do know this.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

AMERICAN DESERT DAYS
Posted 11.09.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The train from Chicago, the California Zephyr, was a half hour late arriving in Grand Junction, CO. We missed the sunset, but the sky was clear with plenty of daylight. We located Rob and his black Suburban in front of the train station; and he took us to the Red Cliffs Lodge in Moab, Utah.

The Egging
Posted 11.02.15
ROSS MURRAY
Troy "The Boil" Doyle blamed society. Consequently, he felt justified in being a jerk, and there was no better time to let your jerk flag fly than Halloween. The little reprobate took full opportunity of the holiday to soap, smash, TP and make smaller kids cry through trick or treachery.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Remembering Hallowe'en with Longie of Murder, Incorporated
Posted 10.31.15
RON COHEN
NEAR WASHINGTON CD | Up to the Penthouse I go -- because I couldn't reach the top button, Uncle Sam punches it and slips out before the elevator door closes. Longie answers the doorbell in a red smoking jacket. "Whaddya want, kid?"
This is an excerpt from Ron Cohen's forthcoming memoir, "Of Course You Can Have Ice Cream for Breakfast: Love Letters to My Grandkids". Cohen retired after four decades with United Press International and Gannett News Service, and is the author of the award-winning "Down to the Wire: UPI's Fight for Survival."

Night train to Hog Butcher
Posted 10.30.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Bernie, our faithful limo man, let us out right in front of Union Station to catch the 4:05 p.m. Capital Limited to Chicago. Cars and seats were assigned based on destination; this all took ten minutes, max. No TSA agents, no scanners, and no pat downs were endured

US Congressmen should live in Washington
Posted 10.28.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
It appears as if Paul Ryan is going to be Speaker of the House of Representatives. In his pronouncements about the speakership, I think that he exemplifies one of the things wrong with the Congress.

We are all 50 together forever!
Posted 10.27.15
ROSS MURRAY
Now that the federal election is over and we've wiped the rabid foam off our television and computer screens, we can all stop pretending we know what we're talking about and get back to what's really important in this country: my birthday.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Raise the US gas tax
Posted 10.22.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The cost to improve our America's highways by making all investments with a positive benefit-cost ratio would have been $161.7 billion in FY 2014. This cost will grow to $184.2 billion in five (5) years. So far, Congress has done nothing.

What to do in the event you wake up Tuesday morning and Stephen Harper is still Prime Minister of Canada
Posted 10.17.15
ROSS MURRAY
While it may be difficult to differentiate Liberals from Conservatives, note that Liberals will have glazed, stunned expressions on their faces and be walking in a daze, completely susceptible to others' commands -- in other words acting completely normal. Gently take any lost Liberals by the hand and settle them under the nearest tree and tell them everything will be okay. If you're charming and good looking, they'll believe you.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

I feel inspired! Let's have a drink.
Posted 10.14.15
ROSS MURRAY
There was a time when I felt it would probably be a good idea if we let our local SAQ [QCbooze store] clerk know we were going on vacation; you know: so he wouldn't worry about us. This is what happens when you live in a one-hooch town, where there's only a single place to buy your wine and booze unless you cross municipal boundaries or state lines.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Tuesday, 2:46 p.m.
Posted 10.5.15
ROSS MURRAY
I heard on the radio that men and women dream differently, especially their nightmares. Women have bad dreams about interpersonal relationships. Men dream about disasters and external threats. Great. Now even my dreams aren't manly enough.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

For pennies more
Posted 09.25.15
ROSS MURRAY
HEY THERE! Get the freshest, sleekest, wordiest Ross Murray with Ross Murray Premium! No more interruptions like this one in the middle of wonderful heartwarming stories, like the time everybody accidently ate a whole tub of Noxema and nearly died. And it was all because of the cats! Oh, those cats! Always trying to kill us. Heartwarming and wonderful and nearly fatal!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Recalling your life
Posted 09.23.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Looking back at life, it's strange how all the pieces come together. There is a myth that in our last moments our lives pass before our eyes. Unfortunately, no one has ever come back from the dead to tell us whether or not this is true.

U-turns at the halfway house
Posted 09.15.15
ROSS MURRAY
We are now one child away from having an empty nest -- only it's not so much a nest. More like a temporary storage facility. If the imaginary volcano in our backyard were to erupt and spew hot ash over our lot in life, future archeologists would conclude that there were 3.89 people living in this house. They'd also wonder what kind of crazy people would let their cats outnumber them.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

D-I-Y equals Madness, I say
Posted 09.10.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | After visiting the Home Depot store just off St-Jean Boulevard in Pointe-Claire, I am always amazed at how deeply the do-it-yourself culture has permeated our lives. I enjoy looking at all the possibilities I have of becoming a carpenter, a plumber or an electrician, but that's not what I am. To tell you the truth, I don't think I have ever tried to fix anything that I haven't then had to completely take apart and start over. I am really no good at it.

Take Back America: Can you Trump this?
Posted 09.7.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In the U.S. we have many people enthusiastically supporting Donald Trump for president. The Donald claims that he will make America great again.

Back to School Lunch Time
Posted 09.5.15
ROSS MURRAY
It's Back-To-School time, and you know what that means. Surrendering your child to teachers, who everyone agrees 100-percent-no-question do the most noble job in the world, though, sure, there are bad ones, just like there are incompetent doctors or "too gropey" masseurs, and this is your child we're talking about after all, so you can never 100-percent-no-question give your child's teachers the benefit of the doubt, but still you don't want to let on because, you know, why make your kid a target, which is why you wear that silly grin on Parent-Teacher Night?
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Illegals? Refugees? What's in a name?
Posted 09.1.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In the United States we do not seem to have any "refugees" or "migrants". We have "illegal immigrants" or "illegals", and too many of them, according to The Donald and other presidential candidates.

Four things God wants you to know about your car
Posted 08.31.15
ROSS MURRAY
Balanced on the deck of a carved wooden boat on the top of a toilet tank at a pitstop in Newfoundland, there was a small pamphlet. The cover announced, "Four Things GOD Wants You to Know." I didn't get a chance to read the full pamphlet because it wasn't that type of pitstop.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

A perfect day in Maine
Posted 08.29.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Each summer I go to Maine for a week. The ocean has a Zen-like effect on me. As I say to my American cousins: "First there is a sandbar, then there is no sandbar, then there is." And because they are baby boomers, they get the Donovan reference. The ocean is a healing place. Just the smell of the air alone is worth the seven-hour drive. I sit and watch the tide come in and then go out, all the time blissfully aware that I am breathing.

Just a little kindness, my dear
Posted 08.26.15
ROSS MURRAY
SOMEWHERE IN NEWFOUNDLAND | During our last two weeks in Newfoundland, I saw moose, caribou, hares, shooting stars, an iceberg, and an old man's white rump.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The Shakuhachi journey continues
Posted 08.24.15
JOHN MAHONEY
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John Mahoney is the publisher of the Log Cabin Chronicles. This is the second in a projected series on his Shakuhachi journey.
His column archives: Click Here

In Canada, I could get used to Prime Minister Mulcair
Posted 08.21.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | There was an article in the National Post recently about how Tom Mulcair mortgaged his house many times. I imagine the implication was that if he became Prime Minister he might mortgage our country many times as well. The charge that the NDP is a spendthrift party is not new. But that was not what interested me. It was that the house was in Beaconsfield, not far from my own. It even gave his address which I thought was a bit unfair. Next they'll be giving out phone numbers.

Chaos in Paradise
Posted 08.20.15
ROSS MURRAY
SOMEWHERE IN NEWFOUNDLAND | People like the edges of things. Newfoundland is all about the edges, the seacoasts that positively shout,"How's she goin', baey, I'm rugged."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Bomb Iran?
Posted 08.15.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
According to the Washington Institute, Iran's current lead time to develop a nuclear bomb, Breakout Time, is three months (1). And it could be less. Also, Iran has developed the Shahab-3 medium-range ballistic missile, which has a range of 1,200 miles, which is the distance from Tehran to Tel Aviv.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Could Canadian senate scandal really be work of mastermind Prime Minister Harper?
Posted 08.07.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Over the last nine months it has been informative to read journalists report on the scandals of the [appointed] Canadian Senate. It is not just the facts of the cases; it is the mood of their reports. They seem to all contain a sense of overwhelming disgust and weariness. As if the whole thing is a depressing exercise in human failure.

There is no "I" in "ego"
Posted 08.02.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | At the school where I work, the staff sometimes organizes games against the students. If anyone asks me why I don't participate, I'll explain, "I have a medical condition." If they press me further, I'll say, "I'm allergic to humiliation."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Ahhh, summer evenings
Posted 07.28.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | So I walk out of my surburban house on a sweet summer night. And I have to stop. I have to ask myself: "What am I feeling? And why?" There is something sensual about a summer night. I was going to say "erotic," but I realize this is a family section and -- never mind, too late!

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: THE FINAL DAY
Posted 07.22.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Viking Pride got underway as we were eating breakfast on Day 6 of our trip. For a change of pace, I had my first Eggs Benedict of the trip; they were delicious.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Ankle-deep in marriage
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | My wife and I cringe as we tiptoe onto the first step of our swimming pool. We're up to our ankles, and that's where we'll stand for some time, because it's scientifically proven that cold water is way colder than it used to be.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

With my luck I'd only be maimed
Posted 07.22.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Knowing how you're going to die would be terrible -- for the insurance companies. If people knew for sure they were going to slip away in their sleep, for example, why would anyone bother taking out accidental death protection? But if you knew your fate was to die, say, in a Cuisinart explosion, you'd likely take out a whopping accidental death policy, which, of course, would make it all worthwhile. Either way, the insurance companies would lose money, and we can't have that.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Montreal's Empty Nesters: The Big Question
Posted 07.19.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Here, empty nesters find themselves asking the inevitable question: Do we stay in the West Island or move?

A toast to Fifi
Posted 07.15.15
RON COHEN
NEAR WASHINGTON CD | Every July 14, Bastille Day, I raise a glass of vin ordinaire to Thelma V. Allen.
This is an excerpt from Ron Cohen's forthcoming memoir, "Of Course You Can Have Ice Cream for Breakfast: Love Letters to My Grandkids". Cohen retired after four decades with United Press International and Gannett News Service, and is the author of the award-winning "Down to the Wire: UPI's Fight for Survival."

Unfriendly grammar tips
Posted 07.14.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | How do you know whether to use "which" or "that"?
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: A RENDEZVOUS WTH MONET
Posted 07.13.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Day five of our trip was the highlight for many of our fellow passengers; it was a full day excursion to the D-Day beaches of Normandy.When many Americans think of Normandy, D-Day is what comes to mind.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Montreal anglos know the power of irreverence
Posted 06.29.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | And another thing I noticed about life in Montreal not long after I arrived here as an anglophone is the importance of our local Jewish community. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that, being a minority in Quebec, regulated by discriminatory laws meant to render us invisible because we are considered a "threat," and constantly in danger of losing our national identity, we anglos are all Jews here in Quebec.

With my luck I'd only be maimed
Posted 06.27.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Knowing how you're going to die would be terrible -- for the insurance companies. If people knew for sure they were going to slip away in their sleep, for example, why would anyone bother taking out accidental death protection? But if you knew your fate was to die, say, in a Cuisinart explosion, you'd likely take out a whopping accidental death policy, which, of course, would make it all worthwhile. Either way, the insurance companies would lose money, and we can't have that.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

In Canada, NDP leader Thomas Mulcair will have to deal with the Clarity Act issue in the coming federal election
Posted 06.19.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The Clarity Act is a bulwark against the duplicitous strategy the separatists have been using for the last forty years. It states that the government of Canada will not negotiate the succession of a province unless a referendum provides a clear majority to a clear question.

It strikes at the very heart of the separatist ruse. Separatists claim that a majority of 50-per-cent-plus-one is enough to break up the country. That means they think they can start a new country even if 49.9 per cent of the population is against it.

Imagine the chaos that could ensue? The Canadian government would be forced to protect Canadian citizens in Quebec. Partition would surely be a given.

Inequality
Posted 06.17.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The federal government of the United States is projected to be a $3.9 trillion operation in fiscal year 2016. This makes the Executive Branch of federal government the largest organization in the world with almost three million civilian employees; uniformed military are not included. Not counted as employees are the 10.5 million contractor employees that, according to Rep. Stephen Lynch (D-MA.), work for the federal government.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Sometimes I answer questions
Posted 06.16.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | What advice do you have for the Class of 2015?

Walk through life like you're carrying two cups of hot coffee.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Weighing in on lobsters
Posted 06.09.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | We had planned to have lobster for Mother's Day, but I didn't reserve the day before as Deb had suggested, and then a shipment failed to arrive in Magog, causing a run on lobsters at the Stanstead store -- or, more specifically, a scuttle on lobsters. Either way, no lobsters for Mother's Day. My memory is vague but I believe I ate crow.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: AND ON TO ROUEN
Posted 06.04.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
One of the first treats was passing through the locks at Notre Dame de la Garenne. These river boats are designed to just fit into the locks; there was about a foot clearance on each side. The dam linked to the locks had seven weirs to control river flow; these are gates between the towers in the photo. One fed a hydro generation station but there were no above-ground high tension lines visible.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Cruisefunding
Posted 05.31.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Later this year, my wife and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary. I think we can all agree she deserves something nice. For many years, Deb has said she would love to go on a cruise. And not just any cruise. An Alaskan cruise. That's Alaska, USA, by the way, not Alaska, Greece or Alaska, Barbados.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

CANAL BOAT JOURNEY: A RENDEZVOUS WTH MONET
Posted 05.27.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Monet paintings in the house were copies; the originals are in museums to keep them from being damaged. Monet's amazing collection of Japanese woodblock prints was still in the house and many had faded. We were told by our Paris guide, Thierry, to make sure we visited the kitchen of Monet's house; it was great.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

From Paris in style and comfort, on a canal boat
Posted 05.22.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
On the internet it seems like everyone wants to sell Paris. We looked at hotels, tours, and packages. Then I received a special eight-day river cruse from Viking for a river cruise starting in Paris, right near the Tour d'Eiffel. Kathy and I signed up and left for Paris on May 2.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Go to university -- why do it?
Posted 05.21.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The value of a college education has skyrocketed since I went to university. That is, in monetary terms. I am not so sure whether its value has increased in human terms.

The only workout you'll never need
Posted 05.20.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | In the eleven years I've been writing this column, I've received hate mail only two times. These being Townships readers, though, it was more like strong-dislike mail. Peevish mail, tops. The first was when I suggested that curling, like golf and bowling, was a game that improved with drinking. I realize now that such a statement is ridiculous; I forgot darts. The second angry letter came when I wrote about my two older daughters having taken up rugby.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Working on the railroad
Posted 05.16.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Kathy and I were scheduled to go to New York from Washington for my granddaughter's, graduation. We had tickets on Amtrak Northeast Regional run at 8:10 on Saturday morning. Tuesday evening the Northeast Regional went off the rails and crashed. Eight people were killed. The railroad is closed and we've made other arrangements.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

The only workout you'll never need
Posted 05.12.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | One of the main reasons people avoid going to the gym is because gyms are stupid.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Pants, or Don't get your nickers in a twist, eh?
Posted 05.09.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Recently I was in Napoli, Italy. And one day, as we walked down its version of Ste-Catherine Street, we couldn't help but notice that every men's clothing store we passed featured a whole new look. They are called men's harem pants, or "drop crotch" pants. The crotch is down around the knees, and from the knees down, the pants are skin tight.

A kick in the aphorism
Posted 05.04.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | If you're in search of inspirational quotations, the Internet is a source of infinite examples, along with infinite accompanying photos of sunrises, seascapes and rainbows. Strangely, you rarely see an inspirational message paired with a photo of a cup of coffee, which really, most of the time, is all the inspiration any of us need.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Flute Pilgrim, Shakuhachi Wanderer
Posted 04.29.15
JOHN MAHONEY
I came under the spell of the shakuhachi some 45 years ago, during the same period that I was introduced to Zen Buddhism and the teachings of Shunryu Suzuki Roshi by Mark Abrams, one of my photography students at Goddard College in Plainfield, Vermont. I shall be forever grateful.
John Mahoney is the publisher of the Log Cabin Chronicles. This is the first in a projected series on his Shakuhachi journey.
His column archives: Click Here

Art: Recent Acquisitions
Posted 04.28.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Gallery Parsnippy is delighted and positively damp with pleasure to present new artistic works this spring.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Austerity is upon us. But who is to blame?
Posted 04.23.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The time of austerity is upon us. Why now? Whose fault is it? Well, consider this. There was a time back in the day when politicians were famous for buying votes. But they would buy them individually. "Hey buddy, here's a fiver, go and vote for (name of local strong man)."

Musings on the Middle East
Posted 04.22.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The United States has been involved in the Middle East and North Africa for its entire history. Cast your mind back to high school history and you will remember the Barbary Pirates and the Barbary Coast Wars; one in 1801 and the other in 1815. These activities essentially led to the development of the U.S. Navy. (The Barbary Coast includes Algiers, Tripoli, and Tunisia.)
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Time stands still in a book
Posted 04.21.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | The strangest thing happened to me the other day. Well, maybe not the strangest thing. The strangest thing would be if a pie plate floated into the room and started singing show tunes in the voice of Abe Lincoln.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

She couldn't just get a T-shirt...
Posted 04.14.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | Jail, was my first thought. His Europe-jaunting sister Katie is in jail. Midnight Express, Turkish prison. Or even midnight prison, Turkish express. Or maybe she got married. To a Turkish prison guard. At midnight.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

It would be nice if Canada was as independent-minded as Barbados
Posted 04.08.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Recently I was in the United States, and an American came up to me and asked: "Why do you Canadians have pictures of Helen Mirren on all your money?" Of course he was joking. But in some ways we might as well have a picture of actress Helen Mirren on our money. She's British. She has never lived in Canada. She is acting out an anachronistic role. And she has very little to do with our lives.

Basketball & Son
Posted 04.07.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | I'm watching basketball right now. There have been a couple of times in the past when I should have been writing but, you know, there was a basketball game on. So tonight I figured, why not watch this Toronto-Houston game and write. That's good time-management, and exactly how my son James does his homework.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Vacation envy
Posted 03.30.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | My wife and I were discussing whether envy could be positive. She was of the mind that envy could be a motivator, that seeing what others have can spur ambition. I felt that the resentment inherent in envy undermined any positive outcome. After all, envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, not one of the Seven Really-Not-So-Bad Sins.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

We could have died out there
Posted 03.21.15
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | It was shortly after I said to Deb, "We should have brought a compass," that I began to wonder who would eat whom.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Opportunities missed can define your life
Posted 03.26.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Interesting how a life can take turns. How opportunities can be missed -- and how that can define the rest of your life.

It does take a village to raise a child
Posted 03.16.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | MONTREAL | It started as an "Aw" moment. I received a text out of the blue that said simply: "I love you, Dad."

Equal Justice Under American Law?
Posted 03.14.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
US General Petraeus is a smart and capable guy. But General Petraeus screwed up. And it looks like he will receive a slap on the wrist.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

IGA equals It's Gone Away
Posted 03.10.14
ROSS MURRAY
STANSTEAD, QUEBEC | You don't understand. This is about more than our only grocery store changing ownership. It's about more than the parent company Sobeys demoting our local IGA down to a second-tier Marché Tradition because there aren't enough clients to support the IGA brand. It's about more than the fact that too many people on this side of the border shop in the United States. It's not that.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Bill C-51: The 'C' Stands for Conniving
Posted 03.02.14
ROSS MURRAY
Canada's proposed anti-terrorism law, Bill C-51 ("The 'C' Stands for 'Could Happen' ") is receiving wide support across the country. There are some, though, who say it doesn't go far enough, while others feel the Harper government is both exploiting and propagating a climate of fear. I feel the bill doesn't go far enough in defining how fearful I should be.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Alan Turing, and early computing
Posted 02.28.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In 1960 I graduated from George Washington University with a degree in Mathematical Statistics and went to work for the UNIVAC Division of Sperry Rand. I was immediately sent to classes to learn to program the company's scientific computers, Univac 1103 and Univac 1105. We learned binary machine language and assembly language to program these machines. We also learned the history of the programmable digital computers.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Summer is not a season, it's a place.
Posted 02.19.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I just returned from a tour of Florida, Texas and Arizona with the Canadian Snowbirds Association. Apparently, it was a good time to go. Montreal, and indeed the whole northeast, is experiencing another one of the kind of winters for which we are famous.

A reading from the Book of Recycling
Posted 02.17.14
ROSS MURRAY
And perched upon their blue bins in the field, the people did cry out, "O, Master, show us the true path of recycling. Tell us what is pleasing in your sight and what must be cast into the abyss of municipal landfill. And the rolling out of the wheely bins, we beseech you, be it the second Friday of the month or the third? We can never remember."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Katie's Adventure in Europe
Posted 02.08.14
ROSS MURRAY
"You should have brought a deck of cards," my wife said on the way to the airport. Deb did the Europe thing twenty-five years ago with a friend, almost at the same age and along the same route that our middle daughter Katie was set to embark on.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

A US Government service, well run
Posted 02.03.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Living here in Washington DC we hear from Congress and others that the federal government is staffed with quot;bureaucratsquot; who are perpetrators of quot;waste, fraud and abuse.quot;. We hear that we should be quot;Running government like a businessquot; from such leaders as John Kasich, Rick Scott, and Nikki Haley.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

If the freedom to insult is left only to comedians, is it really free?
Posted 02.02.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | After the recent Paris murders, there was much discussion on Facebook about whether freedom of speech should be limited by the duty to never insult anyone. The immediate controversy was stirred by the reluctance of many periodicals and TV outlets to not show the cartoons that were the cause of the murders. Their reasoning was that it would insult other Muslims. But those of us who practice the art of comedy know full well the value of insults. In fact, there is an entire genre of offensive material known as "insult jokes." And the publication in question, Hebdo Charlie, made full use of it.

Cheap shots: photo booth memories
Posted 01.28.14
ROSS MURRAY
Parent-wise, there are certain things I've done a reasonable job of avoiding, mall-wise: gumball machines, claw machines, coin-operated hippos, lingerie shops, and photo booths.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The new woman is a man -- at least on Netflix
Posted 01.26.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | There is so much that can be learned from Netflix. And I am not just referring to the documentaries. For years now in dramatic TV series, writers have been creating crusty but benign, imperfect but fiercely moral male leading characters who struggle to balance their jobs as heroic protectors of society with the chaos of their personal lives. They still write those characters. But now they are women.

Ebola at the Canadian border

Posted 01.18.14
ROSS MURRAY
The World Health Organization pleaded with countries not to bar visitors because it would only compel them to find non-official routes into the country, unmonitored, and next thing you know we have body parts falling off in the streets and only Brad Pitt can save us. But Canada has turned away nearly 180 people so far and is not the compassionate country I grew up in, your polite approach to border security notwithstanding, Mr. Customs Officer.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

An Obama war on coal?
Posted 01.13.15
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The coal-mining industry seems to be a tight little club where mines and staff are rotated around to confuse the opposition. Also, while mines get citations and fined, they just keep on operating. Recent data from MSHA indicates that the nine most delinquent mines owe fines of more than $1 million each and mines that don't pay their penalties have injury rates 50 percent higher than those that do.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Le stuff, c'est moi

Posted 01.08.14
ROSS MURRAY
We own things not simply to survive but sometimes just because. The post-Christmas hangover is a good time to look at this proliferation of stuff, much of which we really don't need, a lot of which is plain crap. The only purpose it serves is to define who we are, both as givers and getters.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

In the heart of winter, we seek to light up the night
Posted 01.03.15
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I felt it begin a couple of months ago as I noticed the days getting shorter. I realized that I had to replace lightbulbs that had burned out in rooms that I normally only used during the day, now that the day was becoming more and more dark. And lightbulb replacement isn't as easy as it used to be. There are so many different kinds and sizes of halogen bulbs that I had to go to Reno-Depot with the old bulb in my pocket.

I left my fudge in church

Posted 12.28.14
ROSS MURRAY
Last Sunday morning, it's possible a member of your congregation may have found a small piece of fudge wrapped in a napkin in the back of one of the pews. If that's the case, then you probably already know about it. I know if I found someone's discarded dessert in a hymnbook holder, I would be all, "Hey, stewards! Some schmuck left sugar in the sanctuary." And the stewards would be like, "Say it, don't spray it," because stewards are funny -- in a good way, of course.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

What to do about [dirty] coal
Posted 12.24.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
"There's a War on Coal " was a rallying cry from Mich McConnell in his bid for re-election. However, there should be a war on coal because coal is dirty. Unfortunately, people in the industry will be out of a job if the coal mines and fired power plants are shut down.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

The Christmas parcel
Posted 12.16.14
ROSS MURRAY
The parcel, I know, will be a box wrapped in brown paper and taped up like a hostage. We'll have a team of Navy SEALs on standby to breach the packing tape if need be. Our address will be clearly marked on the paper. When we penetrate the paper and packing tape, the address will also be written on the box itself.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Like animals, we are products of our environment
Posted 12.14.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | Most of us are well aware of the shortcomings of our species. History is full of horror and folly. But I prefer to accentuate the positive. We have many accomplishments. And I am grateful for them. Then again, I live in the suburbs, not the city.

U.S. Priority Number One: Pass A Budget
Posted 12.09.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In 1974 Congress passed The Congressional Budget and Impoundment Control Act, which established the federal government's fiscal year as the 12-month period beginning on October 1 and ending on 30 September of the next year. We are now over two months into fiscal year 2015 and there is no Budget. Congress has not passed the Budget before October first since before 2000.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

The meatloaf, and the ruination thereof
Posted 12.06.14
ROSS MURRAY
And we must ask ourselves, what is the meatloaf? Be it meat or loaf? The French declare it to be pain de viande, which translates as "meat bread." Does this settle the question or confound, for how can bread -- cherished dual conveyor of hand-held meats -- also be the meat? Should we not instead call it buche de viande? Should we perhaps not have translated the French at all, especially now that we know that buche de viande means "meat log"? C'est possible, mon cher lait de pouleu.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Forever 41: A Company Prospectus
Posted 11.30.14
ROSS MURRAY
Forever 41 is a clothing and lifestyle retailer for people who grew up in the eighties wishing they were growing up in the sixties and are glad they aren't growing up now. Tapping into that nostalgia for feeling nostalgic, Forever 41 espouses a retail attitude that is fun without being silly, serious without being boring and edgy without staying up too late. At Forever 41, we provide fashion makeovers for those who don't know what to make of themselves.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Picking losers, and winners
Posted 11.28.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In 2011 Solyndra, the solar panel manufacturer, went bankrupt. Normally this would not be big news, however Solyndra had received a loan guarantee from the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE) for a $535 million loan and DOE would lose money. Needless to say, the anti-government types went ape.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

25 Reasons dogs are better than people
Posted 11.23.14
ROSS MURRAY
Dogs are always excited to see you, even if you've been gone for only five minutes.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Revisiting your past for meaning
Posted 11.16.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | As my generation ages I see how our common interest in the past increases -- at least our past. There are Facebook pages, school and family reunions. Somehow we would like to contact the past one more time, hoping that it can throw some light on what has happened to us since. Or perhaps to give the dramatic arc of our lives some meaning.

Am I stupid?
Posted 11.13.14
ROSS MURRAY
It's important to check whether you're stupid, because if you are stupid, you might want to avoid certain activities, like operating heavy machinery, running for office or using social media. You might also want to avoid sporting events or using a handgun or parenting, unless youÕre counterbalanced by a spouse who is not stupid. She will let you know.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

ON TO DRESDEN
Posted 11.11.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Journey Continues: The Fontane had docked at night. In the morning we could see that we were right on the edge of the old city of Dresden, within easy walking distance to many attractions. After breakfast we did a coach and walking tour of the city with a local guide. Almost all the damage to the central city from the WWII bombing by the British and Americans had been rebuilt
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Cleaning out the garage not always easy -- or straightforward
Posted 11.09.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | It's that time of year again. The icy claws of winter are about to grab me around the neck and squeeze. I can feel them. And so there is an annual task with which I am once again struggling.

Phook, Phline, and Phsinker
Posted 11.03.14
ROSS MURRAY
This is one of the more embarrassing things I've done -- at least one of the more embarrassing that I can write about in a public forum. That thing with the parakeet and the margarine -- that's not getting airplay anytime soon. But this, there may be a lesson in here, so I feel the need to spill. I have no excuses for what I did, but I'm going to make them anyway. I was tired. I had a lot on my mind. I was in a rush. We had recently made some changes to our Bell account. Our credit card had acted up at the gas station the night before. It was a perfect storm of stupidity.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

FROM MAGDEBURG TO DRESDEN
Posted 10.28.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Journey Continues: On Sunday morning, the full touring group of 112 travelers set out in three coaches; we were informed that coaches are different from buses because they have a bathroom. The group came from America, Australia, England, and Scotland. We left the Hilton Berlin headed for the Viking ship, Fontane, in Magdeburg, which is almost 100 miles from Berlin.On the way to Magdeburg we stopped in Potsdam and toured the Schloss Sanssouci -- our first of many palaces -- which was built by Frederick the Great in about 1750.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here Smoke Defective
Posted 10.24.14
ROSS MURRAY
The smoke detector went off just before 3 a.m. and I leaped out of bed like it was an Olympic event. If there had been an actual fire, the tumultuous flapping of the blankets would have fed the flames to a frenzy.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

In praise of anecdotal evidence
Posted 10.21.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | As we enter our brave new world of secular science, there is one thing that bothers me. It is not the loss of the spiritual, or the dismissal of magic that can take away all our poetic wonder. It is the minimization of our individual experience. Or, as it is often referred to in a derogatory manner, "anecdotal evidence."

Back to Berlin, and beyond
Posted 10.10.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
I was last in Berlin in December 1950 as an American military dependent high school senior from Wiesbaden to play football. It was one of those grey north German days with snow showers and a little over a year after the end of the Berlin Airlift. This past September I came as a tourist on a glorious fall day with blue sky and bright sunshine.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Acting. My age.
Posted 10.07.14
ROSS MURRAY
At one point in this play I'm rehearsing, I have to make a leap. It's not a dance leap, not a plié. More like a pàté. A gristly splat. The springing is okay; I can still spring. It's the landing that's rough. Not right away -- I'm in the moment, in character, and he don't care about no stinkin' bruises. But later, and the next day, oooh, it feels like a sacrifice for my art.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Why You Drive So Loud?
Posted 10.01.14
ROSS MURRAY
O, tender youth with ball cap perched, And moustache like a wisp of dirt --
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Call me Mr. Polyester
Posted 09.29.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | When I was younger, polyester was a joke. It was what old people wore.

On dying and dignity
Posted 09.26.14
FRED RYAN
SHAWVILLE, QUEBEC | Canada's doctors proposed at the their annual convention this summer that euthanasia be left to individual doctors. Those who disagree with assisted suicide would not be required to assist their patients. Sounds good and democratic -- for doctors.
Fred Ryans column archives: Click Here

The cellphone holdout
Posted 09.24.14
ROSS MURRAY
An acquaintance reacted to news that I don't own a cell phone with the combination of ridicule and disbelief normally reserved for people who vote for the Green Party.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

From Newfoundland -- Greetings from George Street
Posted 09.21.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | It's Saturday night on George Street, in St. John's, Newfoundland. It's 11 o'clock and the small street, only a few blocks long, is beginning to cook. There are twenty-five pubs and they all seem to have live music.

Buying dirty books
Posted 09.16.14
ROSS MURRAY
The last thing you expect when you go to Old Orchard Beach in Maine on the long Labour Day weekend is to keep your sanity. The second-last thing you expect, among the tourists, souvenir shops, fried-everything stands, and carnival rides, is a book store. But there it is, right on the strip.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Where does the money go?
Posted 09.15.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
According to the U.S. Census, the median family income in 2012 was $51,371.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

WE INHABIT A BRAVE NEW PLANET
Posted 09.10.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | "Hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world..." These words from a country song by Charlie Rich in 1974 reveal a phrase that I grew up with. The phrase is: "In the world." This phrase pretty much described all we knew. Bye Bye Beardy
Posted 09.03.14
ROSS MURRAY
It's been facial trauma, I tell you, ever since I shaved my beard off last week. I walk by a mirror and instead of my usual "Hey there, handsome" it's "Aggh! Who are you?" And then I remember it's me, only smoother.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Dear President Obama
Posted 09.02.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
My, how things have changed since 2009. You came to the presidency with broad support as a president of peace, determined to get our military out of Iraq, to finish the war in Afghanistan, and resolve the country's domestic problems (there were several). Fast forward -- many on the home front are unhappy with you, or worse. Abroad, the situation is dire, which is why I write.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Happy Hour at the Sand Bar
Posted 08.30.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | It is the morning after the storm. Last night the wind and the rain were pounding on the windows and the roof. Someone said it was a nor'easter. That brought about the philosophical question, can you wear a sou'wester during a nor'easter?

Watching China Watch
Posted 08.29.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Today's China Watch above-the-fold front-page story is about the 'Comfort Women' that were captured and forced to provide sex to the Japanese army during World War II. Estimates of the number of Comfort Women ranges between 100,000 and 400,000 and included women from Korea, China, the Philippines, the Dutch East Indies, and elsewhere.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

House of strippers
Posted 08.26.14
ROSS MURRAY
What I learned at the hardware store this week -- besides the realization that a career as a paint-colour namer is my roller not taken -- is that late August is not the time for home renovations that I thought it was.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Quiet Hours
Posted 08.20.14
ROSS MURRAY
I want to be buried in one of those deep-sea diving suits, the metal kind, like Sylvester the Cat might wear in some over-complicated and ill-fated attempt to eat Tweety
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Uniforms? We don't need no stinkin' uniforms!
Posted 08.10.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | One question I would ask is this: Do they [cops] really have the right to enforce laws dressed like that? Could a citizen who received a $165 ticket for not making a complete stop from a guy wearing camouflage pants and a red hat successfully contest that ticket in court?

Reform taxes now
Posted 08.01.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Until 2007, the US economy grew pretty well each year with growth staying above four percent per year or so. The chart below shows clearly the impact of the Great Recession. As we have heard from our leaders and our wonderful media the growth since coming out of the Great Recession has not been that great -- the preliminary data for 2014 shows zero (0) growth. The House of Representatives needs pass a bill to change the tax system to stimulate growth.

Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Yoga A-Go-Go
Posted 07.29.14
ROSS MURRAY
I clicked on a photo this week of actor Alec Baldwin's wife striking a yoga pose in order to roast a marshmallow on the beach while bent over backwards. I regret nothing.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Tournament weekends are rough in the end
Posted 07.24.14
ROSS MURRAY
For years I bought into the myth. I even preached it myself. "I'm so glad my kids are into basketball instead of hockey. It's so much cheaper. All they need is a ball and a pair of sneakers and they're good to go." Well, that's a lie.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Notes from the Nasty Show
Posted 07.22.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | What is interesting is that it is usually the older folks who object to this form of entertainment. They were raised under a value system that was traditional. One which is fast fading into the past. Young people have no problem with it. In fact, they crave it.

That religion test
Posted 07.18.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Recently, five justices of the Supreme Court held that for-profit corporations have a right to religious freedom that trumps individual religious freedom. Further, the Court held that the Greece, NY Town Council can begin its governmental sessions with sectarian Christian prayers overriding the religious freedom of the assembled citizens.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Google's got me
Posted 07.15.14
ROSS MURRAY
It is with great pleasure and a scoop of ice cream on the side that I announce today that I have been acquired by Google.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Conscience, Choices, and the US Constitution
Posted 07.05.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The Supreme Court in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. threw out a lot of smoke. It elaborated on its opinion that corporations are persons so that now corporations have religious beliefs. Worse than that, corporations have religious rights. Also, that the religious beliefs and rights of corporations take precedence over the rights of employees.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

An Idea For Canada Day(S)
Posted 07.02.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I travel quite a bit in this country and spend far too much time in hotel rooms. But what I like to do while I am there is watch the local news of whichever city I am in. I find that I can learn a lot about a place by its local news broadcast.

Who wants to play Cake-tionary?
Posted 07.01.14
ROSS MURRAY
The children get bowls of icing to decorate their own cupcake. But wait. There's also a lazy Susan loaded with gobs of candy and sprinkles that the children can use to garnish their cupcakes. They can pile on as much as candy as they want! And then we send them home to their parents.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Let us now praise little sandwiches
Posted 06.18.14
ROSS MURRAY
Is there a more perfect food, in circumstances that require as many fingers free as possible, than the little sandwich? Finger sandwiches, they call them, and not without reason.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

TENNIS, ANYONE?
Posted 06.16.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | The scoring in tennis is like the scoring in life. The idea that you accumulate points over a set time on a clock and win or lose on that basis is a less realistic way to see things. Life constantly gives you second chances.

Carbon taxes, and why
Posted 06.11.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
This [carbon] pollution is a negative externality -- that is, it is a cost imposed on the whole of society and not just the individual who consumes a certain product. For example, if you drive a car, the pollution generated in building and driving the car affects everyone, drivers and non-drivers alike.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Creativi-Tips are like Q-Tips for your brain!
Posted 06.09.14
ROSS MURRAY
Creativity is not a tap you turn on and off. Creativity is not something that takes four to six weeks for delivery. Creativity is not a sack filled with live eels that someone dropped on your doorstep knowing full well your intense fear of eels and burlap. In fact, creativity is not a lot of things too numerous to mention.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Westfalia, like nouveau hippiedom, is not an option
Posted 05.29.14
ROSS MURRAY
I was walking through town on the weekend when I noticed a Volkswagen Westfalia for sale -- old, drab, not the least bit sexy, and the van was pretty unspectacular as well. "We should buy it," said Deb, who usually doesn't take much interest in these things (and, again, to be clear, I'm talking about the van). But Westalias are different.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

A brief note on Memorial Day
Posted 05.27.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Memorial Day in the US was created to honor the Civil War dead.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

When Pigs Do Fly
Posted 05.22.14
ROSS MURRAY
I can count on one hand the number of trips I've taken by airplane. It helps that I have six fingers, but that's not the point. The point is that because I'm relatively unjaded, I still approach air travel with a mixture of awe, trepidation, and general mistrust.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Old MacDonald had a life, SEO-E-O
Posted 05.13.14
ROSS MURRAY
What is every North American's dream? Long lustrous hair that flows in slow motion like a summer breeze, of course. But the other dream is to be number one at whatever it is we do. And the one thing that everyone does is exist.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

The struggle of this century
Posted 05.12.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I am worried about the environmental movement. I think they may have painted themselves into a corner.

My full report
Posted 05.06.14
ROSS MURRAY
Sat at every stop sign for a full five seconds to compensate for individuals/drivers who do the slow-and-go. Balance restored in this small corner of the universe.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

See anyone you know?
Posted 05.05.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The U.S. Department of Education has released a list of fifty-five colleges and universities that are under Title IX investigation. The fifty-five higher education institutions are currently under review by the department's Office for Civil Rights for allegedly mishandling sexual assault and harassment on campus in violation of the gender equity law Title IX.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

The play was a 'three'
Posted 04.28.14
ROSS MURRAY
I've spent so much time watching our children play sports that sitting down to watch the youngest do theatre took some acclimatizing. How many quarters are there? How long is halftime? How do you know who wins?
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Quebec grows up at last
Posted 04.25.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | There was a time when being cool was everything. You didn't have to have much of anything else, as long as you had that -- you were in.

Going on Nineteen Years
Posted 04.24.14
JOHN MAHONEY
COBDEN, ONTARIO | The daily Log Cabin Chronicles is now in its 19th year on-line.

Bathed in Bubba's tears
Posted 04.23.14
ROSS MURRAY
It was clear by the 17th hole that, barring an unthinkable collapse, Bubba Watson was going to win the 2014 Masters. And yet I stuck it out, not necessarily to watch the conclusive putt but because I wanted to see if Bubba would once again weep like an emotionally fragile bridesmaid. He did not disappoint.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Not-so-good reads
Posted 04.15.14
ROSS MURRAY
We're still three months away from Summer Beach Reading Season, but you don't have to wait that long to read the books that everyone else is reading because other people told them to read them and you should too. That's because it's Spring Snow Bank Reading Season!
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Guaranteed annual income and universal draft, for all
Posted 04.10.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
In Switzerland, a group called Generation Basic Income has gathered more than the 100,000 signatures necessary to put a ballot initiative before the country's voters. If passed, the initiative would amend Switzerland's constitution to guarantee every citizen a yearly unconditional income.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Quebec grows up at last
Posted 04.09.14
RICK BLUE
MONTREAL | I always found it ironic that the Parti Quebecois claimed the 'Yes' side in their separation referendum. They are the ones who reject the status quo. They are the party of the 'No.'

Home alone -- with pets
Posted 04.02.14
ROSS MURRAY
Whatever you do, don't compliment dads on their parenting skills. I've read a couple of moms who have been outraged -- outraged, I tell you! -- because their menfolk were publicly commended for parenting tasks such as tying their daughters' braids or attending their kids' school events or not driving away with the baby on top of the car, basic stuff like that.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Remember the old coat hanger days
Posted 04.01.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
According to the Supreme Court, abortions are legal in the United States and they should be available, safe, and infrequent. Both Justice Kennedy and I are old enough to remember when the only option was a coat hanger.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

The ten-year column: Now with extra self-indulgence!
Posted 03.25.14
ROSS MURRAY
I can't believe I was only 19 years old when I started this column. How young I was, not to mention firm, fit, and at my textual peak. As you can see from the headshot accompanying this column, the last ten years have been exceedingly rough on me, which probably means I should ask for a raise, if for no other reason than to afford some judiciously applied Botox.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

A small price to pay for fairness
Posted 03.23.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
I just bought a new Dodge Caravan to replace the 1997 Caravan with 160,000 miles. The new one cost $22,000 including taxes, etc. The new Caravan was assembled in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. I purchased the Caravan though a dealer and talk about a big waste of time -- but I digress.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Blame Canada
Posted 03.12.14
ROSS MURRAY
With this winter showing no inclinations of ending anytime soon, I think we can add "polar vortex" to the category of "Phrases We Could Have Lived Without."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Oh yay...tougher language laws
Posted 03.03.14
ROSS MURRAY
Clearly, Quebec's language laws have been too lax of late, as evidenced by people more or less getting along (unless you're unfortunate enough to be wearing a hijab). Instead of taking the broad view, a majority PQ government is likely to narrow its focus on language. Yes, a more narrow-minded approach is exactly what we need.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Bad Drugs Equals Health Problems
Posted 02.24.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Recently, I was reading the labels on the containers of the pills and other medicines that I take and have taken. Most of the vitamins, medicines (those with 'real' labels and not just the pharmacy label) say "distributed by" but not where they are made. The aspirin says "Made in Canada," and some of the supplements are labeled "Made in USA." None of the pharmaceuticals have origin labels. Is this a problem?
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Sleeping on it
Posted 02.17.14
ROSS MURRAY
I keep a pen and paper at my bedside for when I come up with some brilliant idea as I float between sleep and wakefulness or in case I want to write down a dream. For example, one night not long ago I dreamed that the military had devised a weapon called Pleasure Popcorn that clung to people like that annoying packing Styrofoam and in doing so induced waves of ecstasy so strong that it left the enemy incapacitated, though presumably quite satisfied.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

If a skier falls in the forest, does it make you laugh?
Posted 02.10.14
ROSS MURRAY
What I like about the solitude of cross-country skiing, then, is that hardly anyone sees you fall on your face. There's my wife, of course, but she's used to seeing me fall on my face, literally and metaphorically.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Flooding oceans deep and stormy. And expensive.
Posted 02.07.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
The waters are definitely rising -- in the 20th century the sea level rose about 20 centimeters or eight inches. Scientists say that this rise is a major factor in the damage done by storms like Katrina, Irene, Isaac, and Sandy.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

End NFL tax-exempt status
Posted 01.27.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
Tax earmarks are essentially tax increases for everyone who doesn't receive the benefitÉin this case, working Americans are paying artificially high rates in order to subsidize special breaks for sports leagues. This is hardly fair.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

You had me at "psychopath"
Posted 01.30.14
ROSS MURRAY
In fact, I considered acting as a career until I realized I'd have to spend a lot of time around actors. That's not as mean as it sounds. I was and am an introvert at heart. For actors, everything is huge and broad and arms in the air. I discovered I couldn't pull that off for long periods. I also discovered that there were other ways to get girls, so naturally I put acting aside.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Don't support Iran Sanctions
Posted 01.27.14
FRANK BERNHEISEL
If Iran develops nuclear weapons, its neighbors will feel that they need them also. These would include Turkey, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt. This proliferation would increase the likelihood of nuclear material and eventually weapons falling into the hands of terrorists. The negotiated resolution has the potential for a solution and deserves support.
Frank Bernheisel's column archives: Click Here

Answers from the press conference
Posted 03.01.16
ROSS MURRAY
"Well, obviously we would have liked things to go a little differently out there today. We came prepared, we had the training, all the robot warriors were in place, but sometimes there are things you can't control, like the weather and gastrointestinal discomfort. I'm proud of the work we did. I don't think anyone should hang their head. Hold their nose, maybe, but definitely not hang their head."
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Steal this nap
Posted 05.03.16
ROSS MURRAY
What happened to naps? One minute you're snoozing at daycare, and the next they're pumping you full of coffee in grade school. Or least that's how things worked where I went, at Sacred Palpitating Heart Elementary.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

Prefrontal cortex means sound judgement -- you think?
Posted 01.20.14
ROSS MURRAY
The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that decides good from bad, socially acceptable responses from unacceptable responses, Coke from Pepsi, and so on. Scientists tell us that this part of the brain does not fully mature until age 21 to 25. Actually, scientists didn't tell us this directly but wrote it on a Post-It and left it on our desk. So shy, those scientists.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

You get the quest of my love
Posted 01.10.14
ROSS MURRAY
Things were simpler before they invented love. Once upon a time, if a young man was interested in a young woman, he would simply seek out the girl's father and say, "Do you mind?" The father would say "Be my guest," and everyone would walk away happy. Not the girl necessarily, but this was also long before they invented equality.
Ross Murray is a freelance writer living in Stanstead, QC. He can be reached at Ross_murray@sympatico.ca
Ross Murray's column archives: Click Here

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